For my granddaughter's first birthday, my son and DIL (who's 25) said they were coming to my house which is 3 hours from his house. I went to a lot of time, work and money to put on a nice BD party for her. I ordered and bought a cake and even while I was buying the paper plates and party supplies, I wondered why I was the one putting the party on. My parents never put on a BD party for my kids.
I met my son, DIL and her 3 yr. old (whom I have treated like my own granddaughter) in a city an hour from my house to pick up the kids so they could shop by themselves, and then they came to my house. The party was to be the next day.
After they arrived, my son mentioned the baby needed a haircut because her bangs were getting in her eyes. I said "Do you want me to cut her hair?" I have had no formal hair training, but have always cut my kids' hair and even their friends' hair. My DIL barked out "NO! I'll have her step great-grandma (her mom's ex-husband's mother) do it. She's the only person who cut my other daughter's hair." I said I could do it and I'd be happy to. My DIL said "No, she's a hairdresser".
It was really her attitude that was so mean. She has never acknowledged any gifts I have given her children. No "thank you", no "that's cute" or anything either.
To make a long story short---I tried to talk to her about it the next day. I said I respected her authority to have whomever she wanted to cut the baby's hair, but I told her I didn't think it was necessary to be so mean about it. She immediately said "I told you NO and you kept asking". I said I wasn't aware that I wasn't allowed to discuss anything and again told her anything she had to tell me could have been done in a nicer tone and I didn't deserve to be talked to like that. I told her I enjoyed helping with the party, but didn't expect to be treated badly while doing it.
She ran out of the room and announced to my son they were leaving. She proceeded to bang her suitcase, playpen and other things they brought with them on our walls and furniture and dragged a huge suitcase across my hardwood floor, scratching it. She went out the garage door which locks automatically behind you if you don't turn the knob, and when she tried to get back in the locked door, she started rattling the door and kicking it yelling "they locked me out!"
My son let her in and said nobody locked you out. He told her to stop banging things around. Next she came into the kitchen and flung her daughter's bowl of cereal across the kitchen, leaving milk and cereal scattered across my kitchen. If we hadn't been so busy cleaning up cereal and had time to think, we should have taken her outside and say to her to stay out and we'd bring her stuff to her.
Personally, I don't think there will be a repair to this situation. It seemed like a very strong reaction to a small conversation I had with her. Please give me your advice. Thank you!