I am, or will be a single mother and I seem to despise the thought of having a son. I picture myself having a baby girl my whole life and now the doctor tells me it a boy. Its not like I have anything against boys because I always thought that if I were married I would have what every my husband wanted, as much boys as he wanted if I just got one little girl, whether through my body or adoption. But now I'm unwed, 18 and stuck with something I don't want. Who the hell is going to be a male role model for this little boy. And he needs that. I feel like he is going to look like his SOB father, be built like him and remind me of why I'm discussed by the female opposite. The thought of raising one of them, sacrificing my whole life to give it my all, when non of them every did it for me. My body, my reputation, my happiness, all of the above. Once again another male is going to have a field day with my life and I'm going to have to deal with the results. Don't get me wrong I'm not being selfish about having a baby. I just don't believe that its worth it at all to give a damn about something that I don't feel belongs to me. On top of it all I can't think of anything, anyway that I can bond with a boy. What the hell are we going to do together. I just know that everything I hate about men will be stamp on him, no matter what I do. At least if he had a real male role model it would be a guy that I think is a descent male. And say I find the bond with him and he learns right from wrong, I fear that I'm just going to be one of those attached moms who have a huge issue with letting go. Almost to the point of it being sick. It bugs me that God didn't think I could be the mother of a girl. I guess cause that would have made me happy. Now I'm stuck with and there is nothing I can do but keep him.


For the people who feel like I don't like men or I don't want my son because of his dad: I couldn't care less about his so called father for uour information I don't want him around, not the other way around. And obviously you didn't read the whole thing because I did state that I don't have anything against men, not all anyway yes I know there are descent once out there, less I would have mentioned marriage and all, there is just no descent males around that I would be will to have around my son.

As I read this, my eyes welled up with tears. Not only for your unborn child but for you. Correct me if I am wrong but you seem angry, scared, and uncertain. You are a young person facing a life of something that you are unsure of. Whether male or female a child is a blessing, something to cherish. You don't want this child's father in his life or yours for that matter, nothing wrong with that, but I will tell you that if he pushes the issue the laws will not see things the same way. I know this from experience. I really think you should find yourself some counseling before your child is born, there is no shame in it. And you would be surprised at the things a mother and son can find to do together. I have one of each, raised them both by myself, and trust me there are things that they both look to me for. They are grown now but I remember plenty of things we all did together. Kids don't always care what they are doing, just that someone who loves them is doing it with them. Is there a Pastor or family member that you could confide in?

Oh My!! I don't think that God is giving you a boy because He doesn't think you can handle a girl, but rather the oppesite. I think the reason you are having a boy is because you CAN handle it and raise him to be the kind of man that you wish you would see in the men in our life. Knowing your fears and relizing the potential of your feelings is very normal. You are correct in the fact that boys need a male role model. There are programs like Big Brothers and Big Sisters, where you can seek that male influence in your sons life. With all this said, it is solely up to you to decide. If you are thinking about adoption, my husband and I would love to make an open adoption plan. Please check out our website at >information removed<. I mean no disrespect to you and your situation. I am just trying to help. Thank you.

I am glad you will give the child up for adoption, the babies father will also have to agree to the adoption.

To be frank and honest, you seem to think life is all about you and after you chose to sleep with and have sex with this man, now he is not good, he was no good then, as now, but it was OK in bed but not OK now.

Next since the baby is not your perfect dream you don't want the child, so please do the baby a great favor and give the baby up for adoption.

Please do give your child up for adoption. You can contact an adoption agency now to make the arrangements.

But the father will HAVE to be involved. The law requires it. When you make the decision to engage in sexual intercourse, then you run the risk of being tied to this person through a child. If he doesn't object then an agency will handle all the details for you. If he does object, then he can take custody. But you may be liable for child support.

Hi sadee 18,

No judgement, life happens sometimes in ways we don't expect. You do the best you can in the situation.

I wish you the best in the journey through pregnancy and adoption. What a tremendous gift you will be able to give to a loving family. It takes a great deal of maturity to know what you feel you can handle and what you can't.

Your doctor or midwife should be able to help you with local adoption agencies. Do be sure to go through someone they recommend so that you can be sure the agency is reputable. Depending on your comfort level, you can consider either an open adoption, where you may have the opportunity to have some contact with the family, if only through periodic updates and perhaps photos, or a closed adoption where the couple does not know who you are and you have no contact with them.

Another option to consider is whether you have a family member who would adopt your child and provide a loving home. This sort of situation can have pros and cons and it would be something you would need to think about carefully.

Do all that you can now in your pregnancy to insure your child has a good start. That is one of the most loving things you will be able to pass on.

Who said I was giving it up for adoption?

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Originally Posted by sadee18

who said i was giving it up for adoption??

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Right in the title of this thread you talk about giving him away. What were you planning on doing, just giving him to someone at Walmart?

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who said I was giving it up for adoption?

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I want to give my unborn baby away because it is a boy.

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You did.

Yea u read the title but not the writing underneath it, or better yet the last sentence of the first paragraph.

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Originally Posted by sadee18

Yea u read the title but not the writing underneath it, or better yet the last sentence of the first paragraph.

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I actually read the entire post, but that doesn't change what you said in the title.

Also, you clearly don't want this child, so it's safe to assume that you would want to give him up.

Are you saying that you want to keep this child, even though you seem to despise it already?

I read all the rambling as well and just like Alty said, you seem to despise this child before you even gave him a chance. Now you want to keep him?

Please give him up for adoption, at least he will have a chance that way.

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Originally Posted by sadee18

who said i was giving it up for adoption??

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Did you have questions, or were you wanting feedback on your thoughts/concerns? Since you were already trying to justify your rationale, it sounds as though you were expecting people to respond as they did.

What is the reason for your post?

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Did you have questions, or were you wanting feedback on your thoughts/concerns? Since you were already trying to justify your rationale, it sounds as though you were expecting people to respond as they did.

What is the reason for your post?

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It sounds like a vent to me. The only part of her post that sounded like a question was her stating that she wants to give away her baby, and even that part wasn't a question, but a statement.

To the OP (original poster), I'd also like to know if you have a question. If so, could you clarify what it is since it's not obvious in your post?

Well I guess maybe I should have blogged it instead.. sorry for the confusion. And for those who took the post to heart, I'm keeping my child never thought I would give it up, my baby my responsibility. I would like you to know that we(my blue bonnet and I) have come a long way. People might not have helped me in handling my emotions, but God did and I'm happy to be 22 weeks pregnant with a little blue bonnet.. excuse me for just seeking help by posting this, if there was someone to talk to believe me I wouldn't have. You guys can now stop adding your inputs, no longer needed.

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Originally Posted by sadee18

well i guess maybe i should have blogged it instead..sorry for the confusion.

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Probably, So you understand, this is primarily a Q&A site. People post question about problems or issues they face with hopes of finding a solution. So responses here are going to reflect that goal. If you wanted just moral support another site might have been a better choice.

I'm glad you have found a level of peace with yourself and wish you better times fro the future.