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-   -   Girlfriend slept with another guy while we were on a 'break" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=627484)

  • Jan 13, 2012, 02:24 PM
    NoClueWhatToDo
    Girlfriend slept with another guy while we were on a 'break"
    I'll make this as short as I can. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I am two years older than her and went all through college dating her (she goes to a different college). This year, she is a Junior. Halfway through her semester this year, she got in a ton of trouble at her school and was accused of using drugs.

    She became depressed and hated her life. She asked for a break from me, which I didn't understand. She didn't want to talk or text or anything. She wanted to get her life back on track. This was tough, as I would frequently call her and text and we would argue and fight.

    Thanksgiving break comes and so does Christmas and we start getting back into the groove of things. She just went back for school on Sunday.

    Last night, I found out from one of her friends that she had a one night stand with one of her guy friends at school while we were on our break. We discussed that this break had nothing to do with it, and from what I can tell,she truthfully meant that as her friend said she wasn't dating anyone or seeing anyone and I was still frequently talking with my girlfriend.

    The thing is, I did not think it was a true break. She did at one point say she needed space and time to be alone and that it will be the best for us in the long run cause she loves me and always wants to be with me. She said that when she first asked for the break.

    To wrap it up, I hung out with her all thanksgiving/christmas break, and she slept with this guy in October. She never told me. I found out through Facebook. What do I do?
  • Jan 13, 2012, 03:32 PM
    talaniman
    Trust me guy, it was a true break, even if you don't think so, SHE DID! For a decision of this magnitude, you better have facts.

    Don't assume, or fret, just ask her, and see what she says. Then you can act accordingly.
  • Jan 13, 2012, 03:56 PM
    NoClueWhatToDo
    I asked her. She didn't tell me because she said that she wanted to forget about that whole month and that is was the roughest month of her life and she can't change it and didn't want to ruin what we had. She also said, she wasn't happy with our relationship, which is why she wanted the break. And she "wishes she could change everything that happened at the school, with the accusations and rumors about her using drugs and getting kicked off the team and everything else."
    She said she felt like before I even found out she needed to try so much harder in our relationship to make things right with us. Like, I don't know how to feel or what to do.


  • Jan 14, 2012, 12:13 PM
    talaniman
    What do you want to happen here guy? Realistically. Takes time to regain trust, and a lot of patience and hard work. But first you must be honest with yourself, and decide what you want, and if she is even worth it.

    Then, and only then can you be honest with her, and demand the same thing back. You will never forget, but forgiveness is very complicated, and is no guarantee of being happy about her actions, or even being with her.

    But that's the challenge, knowing what you want. I suggest taking time to decide.
  • Jun 22, 2012, 01:33 AM
    the_angergames
    I am sorry to hear your story and know how you feel because I am currently going through an extremely similar situation. My girlfriend of 5 years claims that she wanted to get her life back on track and "do her".. her words not mine. She was acting weird and I found out she was talking to another guy and hiding it from me on purpose. When confronted about it she said that it was my fault but she did admit it was wrong of her and felt guilty. She said she loves me and she had no feelings for this guy... Sure enough its been only a week and I'm pretty sure she has made the next move to hang out with this guy as more than friends. I have decided that If this girl truly loved and cared about me like I expressed to her, even after the short break up she would have had at least waited a bit longer. I broke nit off and I was devastated about the loss of the relationship. I could never even think about another girl let alone act out and actually be with someone else. It goes to show you a person's true colors. Please save yourself from a world of hurt and decide to move on. It's waaaay worse if you don't. I made this mistake once and I will not make it again.

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