Okay, so some background- my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. We are both 21, but he's about six months older than me.

So, When it comes to special occasions like holidays and his birthday, I put a lot of thought into what I get him. I make sure that what I get him is very personal to his interests and means something. My birthday is 2 days before Christmas, so when I was growing up my family always combined the two and shrugged off my birthday. This really hurt me considering how much time and effort was put into my siblings special days. Anyway, he and I have had a few conversations about how much this bothered me. He spends a lot of money on himself, be it recreational drugs, video games etc. But when my birthday and Christmas rolled around, he handed me two pairs of socks and a card without any writing on the inside except for his name. Nothing was wrapped or anything. And he had obviously just purchased them as he works at a convenience store and he had just gotten off work. A few weeks before he asked if I'd rather have music or something shiny. I just told him that I would be happy with either of those and it was the thought that counts. But a day before my b-day. He asked me when my birthday was :/ so he had obviously forgotten.

This is really bothering me, but should it? He told me he would get me a "real" gift once he got paid again, but its been like 2 weeks and he's spending $60 on pot for himself later tonight.

I mean, I'm not being materialistic but I would have been happy if the card had something personal written in it or if he had made me dinner or taken me to do something.

SO- Do I have a right to be bothered by this? If so, what should I do? If not, where is my reasoning flawed?

Your reasoning isn't flawed but you game plan is because if that's the best he can do after a year and a half, then you simply have the WRONG guy.

Let him smoke dope, and get a real guy, why don't cha!

Dump this guy! A year and a half together and he doesn't know when your birthday is. Without even knowing you, I can say you deserve better than some 21 y/o dude that smokes dope, works in a convenience store and buys you socks for your birthday. Time to move on.

Someone that smokes pot does not have the money to afford the things that you want. Their life is their drug and in his case it's the pot. Things will probably never change with that. The only thing they care about is themselves unless they do something for you that benefits their own selfish desires.

Honestly, you really should leave the guy and be with someone who will care are appreciate you. Make sure he doesn't have any drug or alcohol addictions. Take care!

It seems more to me a matter of needs and wants.

Is he aware that Birthday celebrations are important to you, and you expect at least something special like dinner and a movie? Maybe something inexpensive like a framed photo of the two of you- things that don't cost a lot?

If you don't tell him, maybe he just doesn't get it. Hints don't always work, and you going all out for his birthday, does not mean automatically that he'll go all out for yours.

Him smoking pot isn't an issue for you, I get the impression that it is his willingness to spend money on it, rather than on your birthday that is the problem.

Be straight with him. Tell him that you are disappointed that he did not show much enthusiasm to make your birthday special, and it hurt your feelings.

Tell him that couples put eachother's needs first, not ahead of their own needs, especially and particularly for special events like birthdays.

Maybe he just needs to learn what is important to you, and educate himself a little, about the fact that him doing something extra special for you on your birthday, is good for you, for him, and your relationship.