We used to have it all of the time at least twice a day and in different areas. Now its maybe twice a week and on Saturday night. And its only one time usually once I've came. She won't let me service her or keep going. I think that,its my smoking,just because she told me it was. She told me to quit and her pheromones would be in high gear. Is this true. PS she quit 1 1/2 years ago.

If my partner smelled like a ash tray I would not want to be near them either. And people who do smoke have a ordor around them.

So it has to be part of the issue.

I don't smoke in the house. Or around her, I always wash up and brush my teeth and get rid of the sell I think. But I think its part of the problem but she will only let us do it while she's laying on her back or her side everything else hurts. Maybe I should have put all of this in the question also. I do plan on quitting . I'm just curious.

Smoking may be part or all of the problem but honestly, there is no way for us to know what the problem really is.

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Originally Posted by rdb4576

I don't smoke in the house. or around her, I always wash up and brush my teeth and get rid of the sell I think. But I think its part of the problem but she will only let us do it while shes laying on her back or her side everything else hurts. Maybe I should of put all of this in the question also. I do plan on quitting . I'm just curious.

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THat doesn't get rid of the odor completely... trust me... I've dated a few girls in the past that smoked... as much as they primped... it was still always there. Maybe not as strong... but still noticeable to a non-smoker whoes sense of smell isn't comprimised.

And the other part of your comemnts... did she always act like a corpse or is that new. (trust me I actually knew a divorced 30 year old that had the idea of sex was her laying there like a dead person, I got my things and left as soon as she went to sleep and never came back, I was 20 at the time).

That's issue #2 we have to figure if its her way, something you did, or what she percieves you having done.

I think there are more issues than smoking - I quote: "She won't let me service her or keep going."

Service her?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rdb4576

I don't smoke in the house. or around her, I always wash up and brush my teeth and get rid of the sell I think. But I think its part of the problem but she will only let us do it while shes laying on her back or her side everything else hurts. Maybe I should of put all of this in the question also. I do plan on quitting . I'm just curious.

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More back ground would probably help us understand what is going on.

How old are both of you and how long have you been married?

How long has it only been three times a week instead of multiple times a day?

How long has she been having health problems that cause sex to hurt any other positions than on her back or side? Are those two positions pain-free or just more bearable? Has she seen a doctor about the pain she feels during sex? Does the pain occur at other times?

What other changes have occurred in your lives that might be affecting her libido such as increased stress, medical issues, pregnancy/child-birth, exhaustion, etc.

When you have sex, is it her choice or is she giving you what you want because it is her duty as a wife to satisfy her husband's needs even she isn't up to it?

Yes, smoking may be part of the problem. She may be more sensitive to the odor and the smell may be a lot stronger to her than it is to you. It may also be an excuse that you are willing to listen to even though it is only one part of the whole.

If she is experiencing pain during sex, there is no wonder why she doesn't want to continue with anything after you climax. Your climax may be a greater relief to her than an orgasm would be.

If she hasn't already seen a doctor, she probably needs to. Pain during sex can be an indicator that there are medical problems. Encourage her to get checked out.

Communicate with her and work together as a couple. Be prepared to not have sex at all for a while if she does need medical treatment and healing time. Make certain that you show each other affection and share intimacy in other ways than sexual.

Good luck on quitting smoking. I hope you find it easier to do than many others (my husband included) have.

Good points cat... I missed those... pain is not good or something she should ignore.

I missed the pain part, too. I would also say that if she told OP that the reason she isn't having sex he should stop smoking and then see what happens.