Ask Me Help Desk - I hate my daughter

In short of running away and never be found again by my daughter. I must say I hate her... The woman she is, her choices and her unwilliness to get help. She has allowed her seld to get addicted to drugs, doesn't practice Birth Control now 11 weeks carring. This is her 4th pregancy and only 22years old. The child she does have is three and is raised by the father. She lives with me and have given her notice to move out in 30days. I am the only one who works. Prior to working again I had been with out work for 12 months with no benefits. Now she needs abortion. I am about to loose it. I just hate her... And find myself saying it out loud when I am by myself. My daughter was raised in a good home with a christian foundation, not on welfare, I worked all my life with her. My daughter did work now she is drain on society. Still can be a great student like she was in earlie years... Now it all talk.
I As a mom gave time to all her school years showed up at each event, took her to every dr's appt. As a single parent one would have said I was a Super Mom. I am getting depressed and if I don't get a hold of my life I'll be homeless and define the rest of my life as it's better to be dead then alive. This does sounds sever and it is. This dam generation has no Clue of what it takes to make it in life. She is unwilling to meet me half way that's fair to ask of her. IN FACT she should give 100% towards dealing and be willing to STOP and make a change. I need help for my life... My extended family don't want any thing to do with her and I understands why, She is a user. I need help I read co-dependent no more daily, it's my bible. I am ready to pack up and never be found again. Any suggestions?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reneebc

Any suggestions?. . . She lives with me and have given her notice to move out in 30days.

That is exactly what I would suggest.

It sounds like you are the one person she relies on. Once you're out of the picture, she'll be forced to shape up or suffer on her own. She's 22, it's time to be self-reliant.

Some other advice: just because she's your daughter and you provided a good life for her doesn't mean she owes you anything; you were just doing your job as a parent. If you think this way, you will only become bitter and drive yourself insane with rage, it's better to forget the days of your super-momhood and focus on moving on.

I know this is not about agreeing or disagreeing with what you have shared. I think a child does owe there parent or parents who have scarified ALL the Satisfaction they have learned something from there parents. I had my daughter late in life age 32,which took my life out of my prime of earing my very best income.YOU are correct I am now bitter and becoming hateful because she has not grabbed the horns by the bull and try to deal with the challenges.My daughter has already been homeless, living in her car with my granddaughter at one point. Thank goodness the little one has a home right now. As for Sara her reality will come again. I left Sacramento two other times and each time I can back was for a family situation. Well when I leave this next time when ever that might be I will not return but only to visit. Lastly you might have some suggestions on how to phrase too her that I must go in a loving way. Right now I am feeling hateful, resentful I ever ever had a child.

Yes... you have to cut her off completely now or you will be in my situation of raising her child,I had to get custody of her as her ex was trying to get full custody of my grandchild. He is married to a women who he abusive. I urge you to take warning as my daughter has another child by someone who is in and out of jail.

Get her out of your life so you can have one of your own . You owe this yourself before you get totally lost and never know what is to know who you are as you were meant to in your 50/s which are meant to the best years of your life.

Believe me,I know what Im talking about as I am raising a six year old. Yes,she is a sweet girl but I have her disfunctional mother banging down my door with all of her problems which are ongoing.
Take care and feel free to email me at <removed>. It only gets worse with this type,seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pansue50

yes ...you have to cut her off completely now or you will be in my situation of raising her child,I had to get custody of her as her ex was trying to get full custody of my grandchild. He is married to a women who he abusive. I urge you to take warning as my daughter has another child by someone who is in and out of jail.

Get her out of your life so you can have one of your own . You owe this yourself before you get totally lost and never know what is to know who you are as you were meant to in your 50/s which are meant to the best years of your life.

Believe me,I know what Im talking about as I am raising a six year old. Yes,she is a sweet girl but I have her disfunctional mother banging down my door with all of her problems which are ongoing.
take care and feel free to email me at <removed>. It only gets worse with this type,seriously.

She was in rehab for a year and then went right back to taking drugs and negated her precious baby girl who I found fending for herself to eat. Dear God her apartment was crawling with ants and I found jars of peanut butter in my grand daughters bed,poor baby. There were strung out people there whom my daughter was going to leave with so she could go out partying .

Heed my warniing again,it only gets worse.

You help allow it to happen as long as she lives and eats with you. You have to be tough, evict her, kick her out what ever it takes, If she has drugs in the house and pregnant, call the police and have her arrested, I would have never allowed a child of mine to bring drugs into the house. I would have thrown them out ( legal or not) if they had drugs in my home.

Say bye and deal with making you better

Well when I went through a stage a similar to your daughter it look everyone cutting me off and abandoning me to wake up one day in jail and turn my life around! I didn't have children though. She needs to be locked up and get a taste of reality! You do not hate her you dislike her choices she has made. My prayers are out for you!