I like a girl with complications.
I think I'm just reaching for someone to tell me that I can still be her friend somehow or something.
So back story. She's my first. We met ten years ago. We always meet up, and mess around sometimes have sex, and then separate. She's always in a relationship. I know how it sounds, lol I was her first too. First time around we broke up it was my fault we were in a relationship I wasn't a very attentive boyfriend forgetting dates saying stupid stuff but I was 17 so whatever. Anyway different times we've met up by accident at a mall whatever we reconnect have a good little fling usually she's having relationship issues. Once she was in a good relationship and told me it wasn't a good idea to hangout. You know I'm always trying to get at her lol when I see her I feel like she's the one who got away.
Well recently we started hanging out again had a little fling no sex thou close one time and we hangout and I like hanging out with her we have a good time. She likes hanging out with me. I like her I always have I want to keep her and try being in a relationship but she had just recently broke up with her 6 year boyfriend and I wasn't trying to pressure her into a relationship I figured that I wanted to give her a good amount of time so it wouldn't just be a rebound thing or maybe that's all it was to her but as far as she says its not.
I've dated other girls while we have been friends I even got a girlfriend for a little bit while she still had a boyfriend before they broke up and I didn't see her but I would think about her and I didn't want to be with my then girlfriend or a few days and wanted to be with her so I ended things with the other girl I rather be single than be with some girl and think about her.
She hasn't cheated on her bf/ex boyfriend with me I guess only when they break up I still consider that cheating anyway I've tried to like break up our friendship before. Telling her because I feel bad etc. I do and we both seem bummed about it because we have such a good time but perhaps I like her more than she likes me. I'd like to at least keep her as a friend because she's cool you know. Sometimes I'm just like I can be her friend other times I'm just like what am I doing I have feelings for her and I need to do soemthing about them or move on. I go through little phases when I want to stop seeing her because of all the time I spend thinking about her.
But ultimately I want to keep her in my life even if its just as friends but I think I need to distance myself for awhile anyway advice would be appreciated.
