What does it mean when girlfriend goes to couple parties while I'm in jail without me?. me and her never been to a party together... we met in school, she has always told me she wasn't the party type... girlfriend admitted to me while I was in jail by mail saying she went out 3 times (girls night out) and she says she didn't drink. And she didn't do anything wrong , etc... we have been together only 5 months. We are a serious couple. But this got my head itchy. She is 17. I am 19... what do you think?

I guess she wanted to try something different, since you aren't there to keep her company.

Relax, at least she told you.

Are you still in jail? How long were (or have been) in jail?

How long did you know her and date before you were incarcerated?

Is she still in school?

She's right she hasn't done anything wrong as long as she isn't breaking any curfew or drinking laws where she lives. She doesn't have to be the 'party type' to want to go out and spend time with her friends. She is also at an age where parents allow more freedom and friends can drive. It can change a person's perspective on going out with friends.

Five months is a short time to be in a relationship especially if part of it has been 'long distance'. If you are now out or soon to be released, remember that both of you will need to have time for yourselves. Being a couple does not mean you have to be together all the time or do everything together.

Talk about your expectations in the relationship including parties and dating in general. She may actually prefer to stay away from 'parties' and enjoy dates that are more couple oriented like movies, etc. If you enjoy parties, see if there needs to be a compromise that works for both of you.

Good luck.

It means she wanted to go out, nothing more, nothing less

Cat1864- I'm not in jail anymore. I was in for couple months, I would say I've been in for about 2/3 of our relationship. (us being together). But I have known her for only a year. Yes she is still in school. Your right your right. But than again, by something bad I meant like her deceiving me or cheating. I can't fit through my head why would she do something like that when I'm locked up. When I was out she didn't mention it once or nothing. Meaning what? She thinks I'm boring maybe? Or she doesn't know what she wants? She doesn't want to be in a commitment?


Fr_chuck- I get you. But than again. Looking at it like (nothing more nothing less) is naïve.


Talinman- yeah you have a point, she did at least tell me. But maybe she just told me with a lot of sugar coating

Well geez guy, you can worry all you want, but since you have NO facts just take her word for it until you do and NOT worry.

That's the point of a healthy relationship, TRUST, and at least acknowledge without her boy friend she maybe was bored, so she went with her girlfriends (pretty normal to me). And maybe as she grows older her feelings about sitting home watching TV will change as it does with MOST young people right?

And what's the point in trying to be in a relationship if you can't trust, or adjust to a young girl growing and changing in mind and body?

Don't go crazy over this, learn and grow yourself, and understand making a big deal out of things based on feelings and not facts is no way to deal with anyone. Maybe this is about being away from her and developing insecurity, that question your trust and her loyalty. RELAX!!

It means that you should have been there for those experiences. She wants to have fun and you weren't there to provide that for her. So now, stay next to her, if she wants to go have fun go with her, and let this issue go. Most importantly, don't go back to jail, these time she went to a couple harmless parties, who knows where she might go if you leave her again.