I'm completely new to this so bear with me. I've been in a relationship for 3.5 years with my amazing partner. We always said that we didn't want Children. He'd had a horrific experience with losing twins in a previous relationship and I just never felt that children were what I wanted. The problem is I found out that I'm pregnant and feel completely confused about what to do. He said that he'll support whatever decision I make but I just don't know if I can make him do something that he wouldn't choose himself. If he could choose I know that he wouldn't keep it. In an ideal world, he'd be happy and we would keep the baby, but I really don't know what to do?

'He'd had a horrific experience with losing twins in a previous relationship and I just never felt that children were what I wanted.'

Does the second part of that sentence follow the first, or did you feel that way before you met him?
IF you are worried about his feelings only, then sit down with yourself and think think think about what you want. He has said he'll support what you decide to do. He might be more ready to bring a new life into the world than he knows.
I watched a show about young parents who lost 3 small children when a truck rear ended their car. Their grief knew no bounds. Some years later, they deliberately had test tube triplets, not to replace the lost children, but to --- fill in the words with whatever you want, honor, remember, reincarnate, or just plain love again.

Ever since I can remember I never wanted children, and this is also what is confusing me. Now that I am pregnant is it just hormones and my maternal instinct kicking in and making me feel this way. He always said that he would never put himself through that again and we have always been so careful. I feel so guilty for putting us in this situation, I know that it takes two but I feel like it's my fault.

I feel if I keep it I'm going against what he truly wants and if I don't then I'm going to regret it, so do I be selfish or not... oh I just have no clue, I wish I could click my fingers and have all the answers, or a crystal ball to show me the path I should take.

I would guess that it's partly hormones (nature's inventions to get you through the discomfort) and partly your views and emotions, what you have learned and observed, not just what you have an opinion on. Opinions can be swayed in an instant, like if you insist you don't like sushi and then try it and happen to like it.

Two people are responsible for a pregnancy, unless the woman deliberately stops birth control and lies about it. If you forgot some days of pills or something - grey area, and you had better have a long long talk with him about that. Guilt about that needs to be addressed because you have bigger questions to answer. If there's any chance it was accidentally on purpose, get it out now.

I was going to suggest that you have more heart to heart talks with him, and I think you should, about his past grief. But I think you are a little too wrapped up in his feelings without regard to your own, and need to get away and talk with someone alone. About what you want.

Again about him - just what about 'not wanting to go through that again' is so horrific? We all have love lost yet go through it again. We lose pets to old age and go through it again. Old people die and we have babies to replace them. Yes, the death of children is in a place of it's own, but love of a new child helps heal the old grief, not dishonor it.

No there is no known reason for this to happen and it really wasn't a decision that I made, I would never have actively chosen to be in this situation. The only explanation we can think is that I had a sickness bug and it affected my pill?

I think that you are right, I think I need to think about myself for once instead of always putting others feeling before mine, then I have to make a decision based upon my own feelings. For some unknown reason I struggle to express how I feel about certain situations and generally bury my head in the sand, I have done this since I was a child.

I thank you for taking the time to offer me advice

If no one else responds here, please come back when you decide.

The issue is of course the pill is not 100 percent effective even when taken as you should. Women get pregnant every day who use the pill properly, It is a matter of numbers.

I will say this, you feel the hurt and sadness of the other loss of the twins, how would the loss of this child be any different, would you not feel pain, hurt and guilt if you ended the life of this child.