I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and about 2 months now and recently she's been working 6 days straight for the last 2 weeks. The last time I saw her was on Christmas Day when she came over to open her presents that I gave her. Since then I haven't seen her and I even asked if she wanted to hang out with me on new years eve after she got off from work, but she didn't and instead spent time with her family. We used to hang out at least 3-4 times a week but now we barely see each other. I'd say we see each other 1-2 times a week. I've just been so worried that we're going to be apart from each other so much that sooner or later she might not care anymore or she might find someone else who she talks to more at work. It's been hard for me to sleep and I'm getting this feeling in my chest as if I'm heartbroken. I love her a lot and I don't know why I'm so worried. Can anyone please give me advice?

Of course you love her, but you need to also have a good support group around you of friends, family etc so that IF the worst happens you won't be isolated. But working 6 days a week will knock the stuffing out of anyone; she's probably just knackered. Sadly, meeting someone else is something that can happen at any time to any relationship; however if she's that busy, starting a new relationship is probably the last thing on her mind. Please don't worry about something that really might not happen. Step back a bit, keep busy and try to get a different perspective. It's not worth making yourself ill over. Perhaps try to get her to agree to a date where you will talk, as you haven't been able to be there for each other much lately.

You mean you got back with the same female that dumped you for another guy, then had a misscarriage a few months later?

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Of course you would be worried about history repeating itself. So why did you go back for more in the first place?

Since we last broke up 2 years ago everything has been really good. She didn't dump me for another guy because we were broken up at that time n we were taking a break at that time also and got back together 4 months later. It's been really good since then, rarely any jealousy or arguing. The thing is is that she just got a new full time job and she's been working 6 days a week for almost 2 months. Today we took a break apart because she said I've been stressing her out a lot and I've been pushing her away because I've been so worried that we were going to break up or not have much time for each other. She said she just needed time. What should I do? Should I just not text her or call her at all until she calls or texts back? She also said that she doesn't have the same feelings for me as she used to because of some things I've said to her recently. She's the type of girl who wants me to say things like I want to marry her or have kids with her or plan for the future. I honestly want to be with her and do those things but now I'm scared that's not going to happen. We've been together for 3 years now and its killing me right now. So much that I feel like its going to affect my well being for a while. I really need advice because I really don't have anyone to talk to now..

I feel you my friend. But I have to say that the worst thing I think a guy can do is make decisions that start in fear of losing your partner. I mean if giving her space for a day or two sends you into spasms, then you have too much of yourself esteem tied up in her, or have become dependent on her to be happy, and that kind of insecurity (FEAR), makes you smother a person, need constant reassurance, and brings out an emotionally needy, and clingy side of you that most partners can be really annoyed with.

I think you should always have a part of yourself that's separate and allows you to have time to do your own thing without your partner, just for a healthy balance and some change from the old routine. Most guys have friends, and family, they fish with, play golf, or other sports, and hobbies to get away from the grind a bit, and even give the partners a refreshing break. That's a healthy way of taking a break, until you see each other again, so have some fun doing your own thing for a day or two, and let her miss you, so maybe it will bring some appreciation, and recharge the attraction battery.

It also can help you stop worrying, and letting these temporary glitches get blown out of proportion, and be bigger than they have to be. Heck, you mean you can't find something to do that you enjoy for a day or two? Boy, that's sad in a way, and nerve wracking.

So got a few friends? Or some hobbies, or interests? I would say leave a simple sweet text, but I think you would go nuts if it weren't answered right away, or promptly, so for now, learn to relax and enjoy until the working thing slows down, and she is more rested, and has more time for fun, and affection. Its just a temporary adjustment.

Also since we're broken up because she needed time. Is it okay to say hi or good morning occasionally or to ask how she's doing or what she's up to? Also is it all right to ask her if she wants to hang out?

How long would you guys say it's safe before I can start talking to her? Like when can I say hi, how's your day, what are you up to? Etc? I know to be myself and not flood her phone with "persuasion" to get back with me but I just wanted to know when it is safe to talk to her again and hang out? I want to try and hang out with her again on our "monthsary" which is on the 17th of every month and I asked if we could possibly do that as boyfriend and girlfriend again and not as friends and she said, " we will see". I told her I didn't want to be lead on as just friends and that's what she said.

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I want to try and hang out with her again on our "monthsary" which is on the 17th of every month and I asked if we could possibly do that as boyfriend and girlfriend again and not as friends and she said, " we will see". I told her I didn't want to be lead on as just friends and that's what she said.

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Quite frankly after hearing that, I would be out and enjoying my freedom, and doing my thing, and she would have to wonder where I disappeared to!

"WE WILL SEE!!??!" Yeah right!! You have a short memory of the last time you got dumped. What does your dignity, and self respect say you should do? Or are you ruled by fear, insecurity, and dependence??

All right so we officially broke up severl days ago. She said she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to talk to me right now and wants me to leave her alone. I've been keeping myself busy as to keep my mind off her thanks to my close friends and family.

I have a question though. One of the things she said to me was that when we didn't see each other while she was working she had a lot of time to think about our relationship and I guess that was one of the things that made her change her mind. So how is that so?

... We haven't fought or argued a lot or at all since we last gotten back together 2 years ago but she did mention wanting to get married soon and living together. The thing is, is that she told me she can't really live with me until maybe a year or two because her dad is in debt and needed help so that was another thing that was stressing her out. I even told her that I would be willing to live with her after she helps her dad n that we could find a place together. As for being married I told her so many times that I would marry we but I wanted to wait a few years and she was all right with that because I didn't want to rush into things. And then just this past week everything changed, it was like she was a completely different person with a change of heart. How can she just change just like that? A week before she broke up with me she was saying she loved me and missed me and when she broke up with me on Monday she was crying a lot! So why would she cry so much and not want to work things out with me and just trash a 3 year and 2 month relationship?

Sorry guy, but you cannot apply logic to feelings,especially not with all the excuses she gave you.

More than likely she has had a change in feelings long ago and is just now working up the courage to act on those feelings.

You won't understand any of it for a while, none of us ever does, so just accept it for now and do as she says... leave her alone.

All right thanks talaniman! You been a big help since I've joined this forum. I know I might have been an idiot someone's but your advice as well as everyone else's has helped a lot. I'll probably be back again to give you guys an update.

I need help or advice. This is taking a beating on me. I've been keeping myself busy by going to the gym, hanging out with friends and joining a kickboxing class but no matter how busy I keep myself she's always on my mind and it still hurts me a lot. And to be honest I still cry here and there. It's hard but I try to keep myself around people to talk to or else I would just be making myself upset if I were alone. I find that being around people makes me feel "comfortable" right now. I don't know what to do...

Projects and hobbies can fill those alone times, as well as reading the stickies, but the most important thing is to stay on the path no matter how hard it seems to be.