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-   -   My girlfriend has left me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=623902)

  • Jan 1, 2012, 02:07 PM
    ljd68
    My girlfriend has left me
    I am 21 years old. My girlfriend has recently left me for another guy.
    We have been together 5 years, and we have broke up 2 times before, but the last year has been perfect. We finally moved back in together and we were at last on the same track. Our futures were going in the same direction, and I believed that we both thought it was dentiny. Previously we had many issues, small, big, but we were also not sharing the same dreams... But the last year we were finally on that same road. We live together and things were perfect!
    So where did it go wrong?
    Last month I was lying in bed waiting for her to come home from a night out with friends, I woke up to go to work, and she still hadn't came home. I was worried, but not in the slightest insecure that she had been with someone else.
    She didn't tell me, I asked her the question, I was sure the answer would be no, in fact I did not ask, I told her she had slept with another, and to my horror, she remained silent. And I know, she would have bitten my head off it it was not true.
    Anyway.. We tried working it out, because she had previously before we broke up before had cheated.. But we got through it.
    It came to a point where I couldn't see her effort to make it right, I mean she had betrayed me, I needed to see some comitment. I don't think that is unfair. But I didn't get any attention, she was so cold and distant. One evening we both snapped and agreed to break it off.
    But I love her madly, and with all my heart. Even though she has deceived me, I would give anything for us to be us again.
    But she is now replacing me with the guy she slept with... She is not giving me a chance, after all these years, she won't try it with me, she claims to be in love with the new guy, and they meet, and sleep together, but yet we still have a house, and she still comes home and sleeps next to me, after sex with another!
    I've been going insane, I've felt mentally and physically ill. I don't know how I will cope. I need this girl, I love her, and still I would be with her. She continues to hurt me, buy seeing him, she has been telling me that she loves me, and that a part of her still wants me, but she is willing to risk our love and happiness, to try something new, when there was no problems in the first place. How can she give it all up? I have been the best boyfriend I can be to her, I had changed myself to better our relationship. So how can this happen.
    How can the guy, split up a happy couple, I could never split up a relationship no matter how much I liked the girl, I respect love, and I know its something that takes time to build and its not to be messed with. I have had my love abused, and now I feel my life is over. Also if he is capable of such a thing? What's he capable of when she is with him? She knows she has a safe future with love and happiness with me, but she is abandonning it, for a guy she hardly knows.

    I just want to know, what to do. I've looked for help everywhere, but I feel so alone.
    What is she really feeling? Will she regret this.
    Can we ever be together again.. Am I too weak to let it go? Why do I allow myself to take this? Because I love her so much?
    I also wonder will I ever find this again? I was extremely happy, and set on our future, with my soulmate.. We split up before, but always found each other again.
    My confidence is shot. And I'm lost hurt and miserable. I only want her, but will never heal from this heart ache, and will never know how my best friend my true love, could put me through this, and where it all went wrong.

    I'm sorry this has been a long thread. I just don't know where else to turn.
  • Jan 1, 2012, 04:36 PM
    livyloola
    I am really sorry to hear this, ask her how much she loves you and how much she loves this other guy, ask if you can be friends then maybe build your relationship from then, I really hope this helps you.
  • Jan 1, 2012, 05:07 PM
    TrueFaith
    Hi well first thing you should not do is listen to Livy!

    I mean just wow! Be friends!? With a women that did that?
    I tell you some people make me think there should be a law agents breeding!

    Anyway! But some advice

    She has cheated on you. She is still cheating on you
    She has made no effort to fix this relationship, she is just ignoring you!

    Does this seem like the actions of a girlfriend or friend? No way!

    My advice kick her out or if its not your house you move out!
    You need to Be as far away from this women as possible!

    I mean she is treating you like dirt mate.
    I know you have been together for a while but it does not mean anything to her if she can do this do you

    All the best
  • Jan 1, 2012, 05:13 PM
    livyloola
    My advice has worked for me 4 times and for some one who is in a similar situation as you, I forgot to add on my last post I personally u or her should move out but still ask to be friends
  • Jan 1, 2012, 05:14 PM
    TrueFaith
    Also just found out about liv it's a 13 year old kid that wants a baby.
    She wanted one at 12

    Has no idea of the dangers only the ones she read on Google.

    I had to do some reading because I thought a person given that kind of advice had to checked out.

    I think you are way too young to give advice on things you have an absoulity no understanding of.

    Sorry kid I know it's a free world and all
    But I think you should keep your opinions to yourself
    Until you have learnt a bit more about the world.

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