My husband seems to not encourage and kind of restrict me from growing and expanding my areas of interest if they are not his interest of liking. He is not easy to talk to about my feeling or interest, he just kind of laughs or criticizes some of my interest, hobbies, friends or anything really that isn't his way or to his liking. For example, he doesn't like my mom so he kind of encourages me to not want to talk to her or makes it seem OK to not talk to her and totally fine to talk badly about her, or criticize her. I am into horoscopes and believe in my sign and what the horoscopes say, and he laughs at it and tells me to stop reading that crap. I hula hoop and hoop dance and he thinks its silly and makes fun of me about it, making me feel like uncomfortable and not giving it my all when I do hoop or do other interests like running and exercising. When I was in the military he would not go to one Marine Corps ball with me, he was very unsupportive of me being in the military, and always told me I only joined because we broke up. ( we broke up our engagement in 2007, the same year I joind the military, then during boot camp he kept writing me and I got sucked into his sweetness when I was alone I think) But other then him being unupportive of my hobbies he is a really cool guy and we are great friends. We have a 2 year old daughter together as well and we mostly agree on parenting style and the choices we make for her and our future as a family. We work good together, but I feel like he has more control and makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable about things in my life and myself sometimes. I don't know what to do honeslty. I love this man I really do, but he is not letting me grow, and find interests and likings of mine. I am a gemini and I need to be interactive and social and entertained. I have no friends other then ones I keep onfacebook from my past and military, he is not sicial and doesn't like to go out or have people over and over time I think I am starting to become like him but not by choice, its like I'm just getting used to this life style. I am happy with my life, my daughter is happy, she loves her father, and I would hate to brake up this family. I asked for counseling when I was in the military and it was free for us to use, but he refused to go, telling me to go see a shrink instead. So I am afraid to bring up counseling again. He also has an anger problem, that I see he has been working on and has improved over the years. I think he wants to be a better person but he is too stubborn in his ways to change. From time to time he will call me names as well, in front of my daughter too, out of anger, I think words fly out to hurt my feelings without thinking them out 1st. He never apologizes but I believe he feels badly about it.

Have you tried counseling? If he won't go, you can still go on your own and learn how to manage this situation. I can understand that he might find horoscopes and hula hoops a little silly - many people think this, but I have a feeling that particularly with the hula hoop interest, the silliness is part of what you like - it's energetic, good exercise, fun and probably fosters a sense of fun and play, which adults need too. He may not realize that his jokes are hurtful to you.

I am concerned about your comments that he has a temper, combined with his wanting to control you. And also his control over your relationships - these are signs of an abusive relationship and I wonder if you are making it sound better than it is. Has he ever been violent toward you? By "controlling" do you mean that he stops you from doing what you want, or does he just disapprove and make you feel guilty about it? If he didn't want you to go somewhere, would there be consequences if you went anyway and made your own choice as an adult?

There was a time when my military friends and I went out for a small deployment bbq, on the beach on base and I stayed out longer then expected, when I was out he called about 20 times and when I came home he would not let me in my own house. He locked the doors and would not let me in. I have not gone out since then. This was about a year and a half ago. For the most park he just makes me feel guilty about something I do. He is a very spiteful person as well. To everyone, including me if I do him any wrong. For example when we separated in 2007 he put about 4000$ worth of our relationship expenses and his personal expenses on me to take care of after. Such as insurance for his car that he refused to pay, and cell phone bill, our apartment charged us a lot of money for braking the lease. The lease was in my name and he refused to take any responsility financially. When I asked him to leave a year ago he threated to have my daughter taken away, keep my house, told me he has been writing down when I flip out at him so he can use it against me. Yes I did "flip out" at him, but that was after I felt like he has pushed me into an emotianal corner. He was pushing my buttons and degrading me making me feel bad about whatever he could, until I just broke. He has gotten accidentally violent with me. Once before we broke up the 1st time he slammed a cabinet door in my face, which I knew was on purpose but he made it seem like it was an accident. He pushed me a few months ago when we had a big argument, but he has not done it since. I told him to never ever touch me like that again. He has put a hole in our door before from anger when yelling at me. I am not sure how he would react to certain things I do so I just kind of stay on track to avoid any big arguments. If I was to leave him my biggest fear would be him destroying my credit or personal property. And talk badly about me to my daughter. My daughter called me an idiot yesterday after my husband was calling me names for getting water on the bathroom floor after getting out of the shower and not having a towel. He has anger issues and I think he takes it out on me. I act tough because I don't want him to know it hurts me feelings so he doesn't think he can do the same things to keep hurting me, if that makes sense? So I think he doesn't think he is hurting my feeling s because I try not to show to many emotions. I think its also because of him thought because he doesn't show me much of his feelings. I want him to want to go to counseling and work on this, but he doenst believe he has any problems. He blames everyone around him and his childhood.

I would also like to add that I was born in Europe and my mom is the only blood family I have in the united states. I have a BIG family in Slovakia but it is too expensive to visit so its completely out of the question for me to go visit. It feels like I have shut out the only family I have. My mom does not like my husband in turn as well, so I am kind of stuck in a hard place. My husband actually indirectly but obviously kicked my mother and step dad out of our home in CA when they came to visit from NJ last year, since then I have not talked much to my mom and she thinks a little low of me for staying with him .

You go out with his friends, tell him he will be he one locked out if he does that again, he can come with you, Turn your phone off when you are out. Stop letting him control you.