Here is some background I met him while I was in undergrad, I'm now 22 and he's 25 and we're both in graduate programs. We've been together for a little over 2 years and I truly love this guy and have done so much for him. I dedicated all that I had to him. He was my first real boyfriend and my first true love. We talk everyday multiple amounts of time. He's my best friend and I had plans of marrying him and according to him that's what he also wanted.

For about the past 9 months of our relationship we have these small petty fights, that are never really resolved but we move past them, but for the past 2 months things got really bad.. He lied to me and told me he deleted his Facebook when indeed he had one and just kept it private from me, he doesn't want to hangout with me, he'd rather spend his time with his friends, he barely calls and texts me, he doesn't care for my feelings anymore.. So I tried to talk to him about what he's doing to me and he told me he wants what's best for me and he wants me to move on.

I'm am so heartbroken. I begged and pleaded him not to leave me and that I love him and that I would do anything for him and (for those really bad 2 months I was treating him so well and was improving the things that he didn't like and he told me he wanted to stay) that I love him with all of my heart but he didn't care. Unfortunately that wasn't good enough, he had his mind made up. I can't say that I didn't see this breakup coming because it was very clear, he just waited until it was winter break to do it so that I wouldn't be an emotional wreck and fail.. I think he just lost his feelings for me..

He texted me the other day to ask me how I was doing, I told him I was good! Because I didn't want him to know I was miserable, I asked him how he was and he told me he was sad... I know though he doesn't want to be with me.. I'm utterly broken.. I deleted my twitter account so I wouldn't stalk him.. I took advice off YouTube using his "No Contact" rule and I plan on following it.. My heart is shattered. I really loved this guy.. Maybe we did fight a lot but all couples fight... By the way he hadn't taken me on a date in 3 months.

I knew that my relationship was coming to an end and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it. I hated how he cussed at me.. I'm such a wreck right now... I hate him and love him at the same time?

Awe! I've never gone through an actual break up but I have gone through the motions. The no contact rule works well, it can help you move on and maybe make him realize what he lost. It can prove to him that you Don't need him. You are doing the right thing just stick with it. And remember he broke up with you not the other way around if he tries to wiggle back.
He isn't welcome if you aren't welcoming him. It's hard stay strong!

You said you're going to follow the no contact rule, so you, do that.

No contact includes ignoring the "hi how r u?" texts. They are meaningless and just rehash everything you're trying to bury.

Ignore the texts, and any other attempts at contact, and you are good to go!!

It will take time, but you will be so much better off once you realize how much better you can do. It sounds like your relationship was in trouble for a while and you were already unhappy. You have so much to offer. You're smart, educated, ambitious, and the list goes on. Those are just the qualities I see from your post, and I'm sure you have many more. There are lots of guys that will be interested in you when you are ready. I hope you will take your time to do this right. First get over your feelings of sadness, and then take your time to date several guys casually until you find one that really fits you, your lifestyle, and your dreams.

Keep busy now, spend time with your family and friends, and avoid all contact with him. It will just take you longer to get over him. Some things you could think about to keep busy:

1. Be active. What do you enjoy doing? Avoid sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. It will just hurt more.
2. Go to a movie.
3. Plan a trip with friends.
4. Volunteer.
5. Learn something new.
6. Set some short-term goals and focus on accomplishing them.
7. Make a list of all the bad things about the relationship when you are reflecting on the breakup. All too often, for the one left behind, he or she focuses too much on the good things and what was "lost".


There are lots of choices. Breakups are hard, especially at the holidays, but in time you will see it is for the best. I bet you have learned a lot about yourself during this time which will help make your next relationship better, when you are ready.

I feel for you, and this all sucks. Sorry.

My first real love dumped me for a co-worker of hers. I was a mess.
The important thing to realize is not only what's making you happy, but what's not.

That applies to everything.

One thing that I always try to tell myself is that when someone you care about doesn't really want you, then split.
Friends are friends. (thank god) But exs are exs. Who's real & who isn't.

Who & what is worth your time?
I say you. Fun stuff.

BTW, JustLooking rocks.
Respect.