I have been with my boyfriend for just less then a year, I'm almost due to give birth to our baby. My partner always want sex which is usual for men. But the other night, when I wasn't on the mood to have sex, obviously cause I'm pregnant I don't have as much effort as I did when we first got together. I caught him masturbating to a porn magazine and found out that this inst the first time he has masturbated over porn since we have been together. I feel really hurt, I feel as though I have been betrayed, like he has cheated on me. I don't know how I will get past this, it will always be on my mind. And especially now that I'm pregnant I feel ugly and fat... How can I try and get past this?

You yourself said you weren't in the mood (and tend to be less in the mood when pregnant), so what's he supposed to think--"I'm a nobody now that she's pregnant?"

He needed a quick bologna sandwich on white bread (a quick release), so the porn gave him that. It has NOTHING to do with you and his love for you. Trust me on that -- been there, lived through it, and there are pages and pages of similar questions on this site.

He did NOT cheat on you. Before long you will have a beautiful baby, and sex without your moods and cramps and feeling fat/ugly plus his feeling neglected will get back to the normal loving. And maybe by that time you two will have matured enough to appreciate each other, sex or no sex.

(Remember, I've been there and learned the hard way.)

Yes, this is not cheating, it is merely a sexual release for him.
You should let him know if he wants to masturbate do it with you in the room, let you be part of it. Some porn use can be fun for the couple.

Instead of looking at it as a betrayal, think about it as him being sensitive to your needs. He isn't trying to make you feel guilty about not being in the mood to satisfy his needs. He isn't going out and looking for someone to have sex with. He isn't doing anything he probably hasn't done for most of his teen/adult life whether you knew about it or not.

Masturbation is a normal and healthy act that has nothing to do with a person's partner. It all about filling a physical need without being concerned about another person's needs. It is also about exploring one's own fantasies and body. It can be a learning experience especially for women.

Porn is only one form of a very large genre labeled erotica. Erotica can cover everything from Romance books and movies to Playboy and videos. Porn just happens to be more visually stimulating and generally is about the end of the journey instead of the landscape on the way. It appeals to the male's thought process of getting to the point. While romance books tend to have more character build-up and interaction.

Understand that this is a bad time for you to find out about the porn and masturbation. Your hormones and self image are naturally going to be all over the place (I've been there, I do understand and remember.) Think about this, he went to masturbate when he knew you weren't up to sex. He tried to show you how much you mean to him and how attractive he still finds you even if you don't find yourself attractive.

I will be honest with you that for the next few months sex is going to be one of the last things you are going to want to think about between healing and exhaustion/sleep deprivation. Masturbation is more than likely going to be more common for awhile. Remember that it isn't about attraction, but getting a quick snack. Be prepared for intimacy to be more about falling asleep together or cuddling while one of you feeds the baby.

Talk with your husband and listen to him. Be open to seeing the love and attraction that he has for you.

Thank you. What you have said has been helpful. And it is true he didn't go out and cheat on me. He is a good man. But I just found it a bit disturbing waking up at 2am finding him masturbating over porn in the toilet. And even 6months ago when we were very sexual active together, he still had to look up porn and masturbate over it. I know a lot of men do it these days.. It will always be in the back of my mind though. Thank you again.