I've started cutting on the 18th of November 2011. I started to cut myself when I thought that I screwed my chances with a close friend and I thought I was losing everything I had, I sliced my index 5 times until I started feeling faint. Then I stopped for 16 days. Cause my boyfriend made me promise not to harm myself again cause he loves me too much and doesn't want to lose me. So I stopped... but last night I felt empty and lonely, remembering all those painful dark times I was going through. So I started crying and I remembered I had pieces of small glass under my nightstand that been there for months cause my brother broke something accidentally, but as I was saying... I was remembering my sad/painful/depressing past. So I sliced my left arm/wrist 32 times except their small and my right arm 1 time but its 3 inches and it bled for awhile. And it was hard enough to tell my boyfriend before how am I going to tell him now? I never thought or tried to kill myself. But I thought that feeling pain was better then feeling numbness and emptiness. But I guess I was wrong.
Anyway please help.
-Kourtney

I have attempted to cut myself, leading me to dive deeper into my depression and anxiety issues which eventually lead to heavy drug use. Now I don't know the whole situation, but my best advice would be to try and think as positively as you can, it might sound corny or stupid but just thinking positive from the beginning seriously helps. What I do when I am feeling down and alone and just want to give up, I try to catch my negative thoughts before they lead to something worse, and change them into positive thoughts, for example, just yesterday I had found out that my boyfriend for 2 years has been cheating on me, well when found this out I had started to think things like "im just not good enough" "I might as well go shoot up, no one cares about me anyways" but after realizing that thinking like that was only going to cause me more hardship than actually going and talking to someone about why I felt that way and how to change things around without hurting myself, made me feel 100 times better than having the guilt of knowing I did the wrong thing afterward. I know that your situation is different than mine but I have to been through some very dark times and now I can proudly say that just thinking positively can influence you to not cause harm to yourself. And for your boyfriend, I would just try and talk to him, and explain what puts you in that mind state to do that and try to get him to understand as much as possible. I hope this helps and I hope that things get better for you :)

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Originally Posted by Kourtney11

I've started cutting on the 18th of November 2011. I started to cut myself when I thought that I screwed my chances with a close friend and I thought I was losing everything I had, I sliced my index 5 times until I started feeling faint. Then I stopped for 16 days. Cause my boyfriend made me promise not to harm myself again cause he loves me too much and doesn't want to lose me. So I stopped...but last night I felt empty and lonely, remembering all those painful dark times I was going through. So I started crying and I remembered I had pieces of small glass under my nightstand that been there for months cause my brother broke something accidentally, but as I was saying... I was remembering my sad/painful/depressing past. So I sliced my left arm/wrist 32 times except their small and my right arm 1 time but its 3 inches and it bled for awhile. And it was hard enough to tell my boyfriend before how am I going to tell him now? I never thought or tried to kill myself. But I thought that feeling pain was better then feeling numbness and emptiness. But I guess I was wrong.
Anyway please help.
-Kourtney

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Have you considered speaking to a therapist or counsellor? It's my understand that the physical pain from cutting takes away the emotional pain a person is experiencing. Do you believe that is true?

Is he still your boyfriend? I thought he was cheating - ?

If he loves you he will listen. Maybe he won't understand it, maybe it will frighten him, but he loves you he will listen and help you through this.

Your screen name, Imnothing, is not true - you are someone's daughter, someone's granddaughter, a niece, maybe a sister, undoubtedly a friend. Maybe this is about self worth. You may very well need someone to guide you through your feelings.

You DO have value. You just don't see that right now.

Pain though cutting at best ( and it is seldom best) is a temp relief but you wake up to find not only is the problem still there, cutting does not fix things. It only leaves scars and can even cause you to have other relationship issues.

If you feel you need to talk, have you tried some of the teen help lines ?