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-   -   A major loss in my life (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=620974)

  • Dec 19, 2011, 07:17 PM
    lika93
    A major loss in my life
    There was this boy , we both had a HUGE MAJOR crush on each other and last year on my birthday my mom told me he had been murdered , it's been a year and I still think about him constantly and cry I can't really get over it and I don't know if this is common or what I should do to keep moving forward and accept that he's gone .
  • Dec 19, 2011, 08:09 PM
    cdad
    Time will heal part of the wound. But like any wound you will carry the scar with you for a lifetime. Its always the toughest at the beginning and the first year is a hurrdle we all must get through. Its never easy when you care for someone. Allow yourself to know this. You will carry him forward through your years. The fact that you brought joy to each other is reason to celebrate not remorse over. He will be missed. But as your life continues you already have a benchmark for empathy. You have been there and done that. Show strengh. Your journey will get better. Its not that your pain goes away but it's a matter of dealing with it. It is not something to dwell on. There will always be those times and its not shameful or weak to cry. It is actually part of the process of letting go. Other feelings can crop up and be normal too like anger or resentment. I hope you have someone you can share with so as you come to crossroads you can meet them head on. Its normal what your going through.
  • Dec 19, 2011, 08:35 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Besides having a "crush" you did not say if you dated, how old you are and how involved your relationship was.

    But you find ways to live and honor his memory, but you don't let that memory control your life. Death is a part of life, we are all born, and at some point we all die. Learning to deal with the death of others is hard and we all deal differently. My first wife was shot to death, the last words I told her were not nice. Never can take those back. Not saying they were not true words, but still feel bad they were the last words.

    But I also know she would want my life to go on, and that she would want my life to be happy. So I go on for her in some ways.

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