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-   -   Girl I just started dating started talking to her ex? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=619673)

  • Dec 14, 2011, 04:12 PM
    ForrestAveE
    Girl I just started dating started talking to her ex?
    Hello,

    So, I guess this is a sad story for me. I just met this girl and we clicked immediately, talked for 5 hours the first time we met. Then went on three dates over the course of three weeks, each one lasted a couple of hours and went smoothly and were some of the best dates I ever had, she said similar things to me after each one! We texted and called each in between the dates, mostly "Good mornings" and "Funny thing happened to me today". This had every indication of a start of a good relationship.

    So... that was the good part, here is the sad part. Shortly after our third date, she stopped initiating the texts/calls and stopped responding the way she had the previous few weeks. I still asked her out for another date and she tenitively agreed (again, unusual). The day before the date I tried to confirm times and such (as she had not talked to me since me asking her out). She texted me that she and her ex had started talking the day after our third date and as much as she would like to hang out with me, said it would be unfair to me. Proclaimed that she was a big fan of honesty, and that she would stay in touch with me, that was last week. I am pretty hurt, but my response to her was as honest as I could be at the time, in that, I told her that I really liked her and was disappointed that I would not get to see her, I wished her good luck and to contact me sometime again in the future.

    The more I think about our interaction, the more I realize that there were several warning signs, I.e. Her talking about her ex, saying that it was a hard break up, and that they had gone out for a long time (3 years), but they had broken up 6 months prior. Also, she said that she had gone on and off for several years with another guy previous to this guy. I just have no idea what to do now, whether it is worth waiting for her to realize getting back with an ex is a bad idea or simply move on myself. I will not stop dating other girls, but I still really like her.

    I was wondering if anyone (especially girls) could shed some light on this situation if they have been in this situation before and let me know what is going on! I am not mad at her, I realize we only dated for a short time (compared to her last relationship), so, I know she has to do what she has to do, but is there anything I can do or should have done differently?
  • Dec 14, 2011, 09:07 PM
    talaniman
    From a mans view, leave her alone and pursue other options and enjoy yourself.

    She has other things on her mind, and it was fun while it lasted, but for now, don't worry about her, just go back to doing your own thing.

    Talaniman Rule - Leave people alone that still have exes in their lives.

    For sure never wait for them to get over their past, that's a waste, and could take years, or forever. She made her choice, now make yours.
  • Dec 14, 2011, 09:27 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Go back to your life. She was honest with you. She was not over the last relationship.
  • Dec 15, 2011, 11:40 AM
    ForrestAveE
    I guess that is my only choice, I just did not see it coming until it was too late. It just sucks because I thought we had started to make a connection.
  • Dec 16, 2011, 01:44 PM
    talaniman
    Talaniman Rule - Never assume someones feelings are the same as yours.

    You just never know what lurks in the heart of a stranger.

    Its still disappointing, I know.

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