Hey guys,just joined today. Ok recently me and my girlfriend of 4 years have been having sexually related issues in our relationship over the last few weeks. I'm 26 and she's about to be 24 in 9 days.

A couple of weeks ago she said that she needed a break from the relationship because she can't continue to give me sex. I knew that she hasn't really been into sex since around May of this year, but she's been giving it to me 2-3 times a week along with head once a week even though she doesn't be into it, so I got to bust 3-4 weeks with her which was fantastic. Recently though she said that it's gotten past the point of her not being into it, but having no problem giving it to me anyway, to really, really not liking it. She said that she hates sex atm. It's disgusting to her. She doesn't even want to think about it. She doesn't want to be touched, meaning no hugs, kisses etc. So she told me that she can't be with me for a while because she really can't give me what I need sexually. Of course I was distraught and all because we've been through so much over the last 4 years and I know that I truly love her.

My girlfriend stands about 5'7. Sexy chocolatey skin, huge adorable eyes, button nose and a great smile. Long flowing hair (they're tracks, but whatever), thin waist, thick thighs and a really, really nice, plump ***. Long legs, cute little hands and feet. Always smells good and tastes even better. Always dresses nice, she's a size 4 and walks around with skin tight jeans on, sexy boots, nice belts along with other accessories. Man she's the truth. Aside from her physical attributes though, she's really sweet and kind, has always proven to be faithful to me and is just an all around good chick. She has her flaws and all, but don't we all? Every day I'm excited to place my key in our door to unlock it and see her adorable, sexy self. And sex is just heaven even when she's not into it and even better when she is.

She was on the depo shot for 3 years. She's been off since mid 2010. I asked her to get off after I did some online searching and found some not so great news stories and info about the adverse effects that it can have on a woman's libido. It was mentioned that the shot would still need 10-12 months before it's completely flushed from a woman's system. It's been a good 12-15 months now since her last injection. I also read from some users that they're still experiencing a dead libido after being off the shot for 2-3 years :O

I just don't know what to do. She says that I'm a really good boyfriend, the best that she's ever had. She acknowledges how rare of a guy I am. I cook, clean, warm her car in the morning, I've been buying her a dozen roses every 2-3 weeks this year just to let her know that it doesn't have to be a holiday or her b-day to get her something nice. I always put her first no matter what. She has night classes after work on Mondays (she's trying to get her Master's) so on those days I run her a bubble bath with candles lit and cook for her or grab her favorite food so that after a long stressful day she can just instantly get in the tub, eat and go to sleep, I don't bother her for sex on Mondays because I know that's her busiest day. She started her first job in August, but due to financial obligations during college her checks are currently being garnished, so I told her that she doesn't have to pay her half of the utilities/rent until she gets her things straight. So I'm paying rent utilities my personal bills my mom's utilities (because she can't afford to pay hers). I'm not a balla by any means, but I have a really good job and I juggle bills and budget my money to take care of every thing. So with all of those responsibilities that I have, being able to share such an intimate and extremely pleasurable experience of having sex with this damn goddess makes my life so much better *sigh.

I've done so much for this chick over our last 4 years together. I just don't get why she hates sex now? Even if it is the depo shot, I don't understand why she just can't make herself give herself to me sexually? I do things ALL THE TIME that I don't necessarily like or want to do, but I just shut up and do what I have to do, that's my mentality. She used to LOVE sex for crying out loud! When she's into it, 9 times out of 10 she's getting 2 orgasms. She used to love getting on top. When she's into it, she sings/screams in a high pitch and talks dirty, scratch my back while kissing my ears and sucking on my neck. She used to throw that plump *** back to me and work me over. She has swallowed me a few times before, let me give her a facial a few times, we've used ice and whipped cream before in our sessions. She's been into it to the point where she asked ME to handcuff her, blindfold her and record her while she gave me head! She's randomly pulled me out while I was driving and just started giving me head. We've pulled over at the park at night and almost died from a heat stroke going at it like animals with the windows up (because it was winter). So you see she's wild when she wants to be. She's the truth when she wants to be. But I guess she doesn't want to be anymore. I just don't get how so much passion can be there at 19, 20, 21 and 22, but just decides to jump off the cliff and commit suicide halfway through 23!

The last time that she was genuinely into sex was back in May and she gave me one of the best sex WEEKS of my life thus far. She took me in the bedroom, rode me until I was about to climax and then jumped off and just sucked it out. The next day she was so heated that I couldn't put her fire out. We had sex 3 times until I couldn't get up anymore and after that she begged me to touch her down there and kiss it for her, I did of course because I'm a man damnit! I was up until 4 in the morning trying to quench her sexual thirst and I had work the next day. I still wasn't able to put her fire out. So I mean it boggles my mind to go from all of the things that I just mentioned, the passion, the pornstar sex, the want to have me "give it to her rough"... we were away for about 6 weeks last summer and she was emailing bj porn to me and telling me how she's been watching tutorials on how to deep throat and that she knows how to give a better bj :/ That's my girl, that's the chick that I fell for! Now I'm dating a post menopausal 42 year old woman :(

She says that she can't be my girlfriend atm because she doesn't want to be obligated to have to give me sex and head, but she jumped at the idea of us being together... if I can denounce sex for a while. I could if I knew the exact time like 2-3 weeks for example, but "a while" could be 2-3 months, maybe even a year or two. Can anyone make sense of this? I've been researching "women libido enhancers" and ran across Bee Pollen, False Unicorn Root, and some supplement called Vienue. I just want things to be back the way they were :(

I understand your frustration, this is not a good situation.

First of all, she sounds amazing and like someone you don't want to lose. She also sounds like she has a lot of things stressing her out: starting a new job, stressful bills, plus this depo shot. I don't know much about this shot, though, so I can't really speak to the effects of it. I can only speak to what I do know.

Sex is awesome, but it's awesomeness can also depend on a lot of factors. Are there other things happening in her life that could be weighing her down? Unfortunately problems manifest themselves in really inconvenient places, and in my experiences sex is one of the first places they pop up. Pun intended.

I think you have a decision to make. I can pretty much guarantee she won't be like this forever, but I also can't give you a time line. If that worries you than you may need to duck out. It sounds like you've been a great boyfriend, but if you can't help her through these problems than you could end up making things worse.

Another possibility is switching up your routine. It sounds like you guys have been pretty adventurous, but I'm sure there are still things you haven't explored. Maybe there is a style that is different enough from what you've tried before that it can satisfy and intrigue both of you. A different location? Different approaches to the foreplay? Something that will not be how she typically views "sex" and therefore something that won't gross her out.

If you want this to work, the most important thing is to make her feel safe. Making her feel like a burden, inadequate, or "broken" won't get you anywhere (I'm not saying you are purposefully doing this, but it could be happening anyway. Even subconsciously.)

I really hope this works out for both of you. It sounds like you have been doing a great job of being there for her, but make sure you take into account how the problems and difficulties in her life are affecting her.

Best of luck.

Okay... one phrase REALLY jumped out at me from your rant: You don't understand how she can't just give it to you even if she's not into it. I mean, YOU do things you're not into because they need to be done.

REALLY?

Do you understand how close to rape that is?

Having sex to make someone happy when you REALLY DO NOT WANT TO is coercion, and it's a form of rape.

If she wanted to peg you every night because it got her off, would you do it, even if you hated it? And if you don't know what pegging is, go Google it.

Sex is NOT like taking out the garbage or washing dishes. It should NEVER be a chore--FFS, do you understand that the fact that it IS a chore is why she hates it?

You two are NOT communicating on the same level. Either give her the break she wants or get into joint counseling so you can understand why she should NEVER have to give you release unless she WANTS to.

I think you should renew your relationship with masturbation and work on your relationship by GIVING UP SEX the way she asks you to. If you TRULY loved her more than you love sex, this would be a no-brainer.

Synnen yeah I understand where you're coming from. It's been 2 months now and no sex at all. We're not together. She wanted the break and she got it. It's just weird because we stay together and she's now talking about moving back to her home town in May. I realize that sex had become a chore to her and I understand that a woman is not going to want to have sex if it isn't rewarding and beneficial to her at all. At first it was all about sex, but now that I've gone 2 months without it, I do realize that I really, really love this woman and that I should've handled a few things differently. I do feel that I helped pushed her away because I can think of at least 4-5 instances that if I had handled them in a different way, we'd probably wouldn't even be here. It's gotten to the point now that she tells me that she wants to be with me and she still cares about me and that she loves me... but she doesn't love me as much.

Idk, I'm a man and my feelings and emotions just don't fluctuate so severely like hers. I'm the same person for the most part and feel the same way about her that I did four years ago! She got to this point once before around March of 2010 when she didn't want to have sex and told me to just go out and get it elsewhere, but that didn't last long. She was back horny and wanted sex after 2 weeks or so, but now it's been 2 months and I see no possible signs of change. I don't know if it's the depo shot, or if the shot has flushed from her system and this is just how women can get from time to time.

I don't want to get over her, but it's difficult coming home to her everyday and I'm excited to see her after work and give her hugs and kisses, but she doesn't feel the same anymore. She doesn't require the feeling of my touch at all. She's just so emotionally and physically distant from me. My friends are telling me to move on (much easier said than done) and that she may be out creeping on me and getting sex elsewhere, and I will admit that I've found myself more and more paranoid as the weeks go by that she is getting it elsewhere... idk, it's crazy.

I'm usually good for a week pretending that everything is fine and sleeping on the couch, but she asked me to come to bed with her a while back, so I'm on my side and she's on her side and she just be knocked out as if everything is OK, meanwhile I'm tossing and turning and having to go to work miserable. When I do sit down and bring up the relationship and speak to her calmly, she clicks and goes off and raises her voice saying that she doesn't like sex anymore, she doesn't want to be in a relationship atm and to just leave her alone, so I just leave it alone. She tells me to go out and have sex with another woman because she understands that I have needs, but I can't help but think that if you really love someone, why would you tell them that? I guess this relationship has run its course for her...

Thanks for the reply Belarus. Yeah like I mentioned earlier, it's been 2 months now and we're not together (according to her). It's strange because she initiated the break and she doesn't feel obligated to call and text me anymore when she's away or whatever other obligations that a girlfriend has. She says that we're not together and I understand that, but it doesn't feel like we're not together because we sleep in the same bed, lately she's been giving me kisses goodbye before she goes to work and when I'm "cool" and not tripping about the relationship, she comes and sits on the couch besides me and sits in my lap or talks and hangs out with me as if we were together, but the minute I make a comment about the relationship and why she's doing me like she does, she shuts down and sits on the other couch quiet.

I'm just going to have to man the f*** up and give her space no matter how hard it is for me. May is 3 months away, so that gives us 90+ days for something to potentially change. I have been doing a LOT of thinking and I realize that during the first half of 2011 our sex life was fantastic and our relationship was great, she was doing her intern at a school that she likes, but everything changed during the fall of 2011, she got a job that she likes, but her co-workers are highly unprofessional and she absolutely DREADS going there every morning, her checks are being garnished plus she's homesick (she's a HUGE family person). All that plus she was never good at managing stress in the first place may have sent her over the edge. So I'm thinking it could be the depo shot plus stress, or it could simply be a huge amount of stress that just eventually shut everything down and not the shot at all. I did research on a few things and purchased a couple of bottles of Dong Quai from GNC and supposedly it helps to balance a woman's hormones (if the depo shot is still lingering around) and I'm just going to try my best to just let her be. There's nothing else that I can do.

Oh yeah sidenote, she offers to give me handjobs and have given me a couple, but that's about it. I know what I have to do, I just need to give her space, take it one day at a time and see how things go, but that's just really, really difficult to do.

March or May is when she is thinking about returning to where her family is?

It sounds like she is under a lot of stress and is causing herself and you even more. It sounds like she may have some Depression if she is always stressed out and feels beholden to you for paying part of her bills plus being a long ways from her family when she feels the need for their support? Stress and pressure are from self and others is a guaranteed libido killer and doesn't help the relationship either.

Why are you living together? Why are you allowing her to play games?

I think you need to sit down with her and write out what the house rules are. No more sitting in your lap or hand-jobs or sleeping in the same bed. Get twin beds, a blow-up mattress, a futon, or whatever, but stop sharing. Act like the house-mates you seem to be at this time if you can't find other accommodations.

If you aren't a couple then she can't cheat on you regardless of what your friends want to say. Your going out would not be cheating on her and you don't have to be looking for love or sex to go out and have fun with someone of the opposite sex or your friends. Don't sit around hoping that tonight she will be in a good mood and let you touch her or spend time with her.

If she is open to it, suggest counseling to help both of you learn better ways to communicate and deal with stress.

I encourage both of you to find hobbies or interests that allow you to let of the daily grind and recharge your batteries. Everyone should have ways of blowing off steam and giving themselves emotional support.

After she stopped taking the Depo Provera shot, what were you using for birth control? Also, why blame the shot for her libido problems now when it didn't seem to be a problem while she was on it? Why did you tell her to go off it just because of what you were reading? What affect was it having on her? Have there been any pregnancy scares since she stopped the shots? Could her new birth control method be causing the problem?

Hey Cat, I believe that the shot eventually lead to her huge decrease in her libido. There are plenty of threads on this site alone talking about it's adverse affects. I also learned that the depo shot was given to particular sex offenders to kill their desire, I didn't know that before she got on it. To my knowledge the depo provera shot basically puts a woman through a psuedo-menopausal state. The first year that she was on it everything was fine, but by the beginning of the second year everything started to change. Like I said, she went through the same thing that she's going through now back in the beginning of 2010 (second year of the shot) but to a much lesser degree. After she got off the shot we just continued to use the pull out method (yes I'm aware) and condoms a few times.

1. Yes I'm aware of how stress and pressure can kill your desire for intimacy, recently she went to the doc. And received a shot and he told her that she was under a lot of stress. He told her to eat a healthy diet and exercise, so stress has been identified as a leading factor to her current behavior.

2. Wer'e living together because this is our 3rd, going on 4th, year as housemates. We shared a place for 2 years together where we attended college and this is our second place atm. We attended college at her hometown. I graduated a semester early and moved back to my hometown to find a job (2 hours from her hometown). The agreement or understanding was that she always wanted to move to a bigger city (my hometown) so everything was good. She had to do an intern in order for her to graduate and she couldn't find one back home (it's a small, rural area), so she was able to easily find one from my hometown. I had luckily managed to land a job and got a spot so that we would have our own place again here in my town since we lived together with relatively no problems back in college for two years. It was an unpaid intern, so she didn't have money to help me with our shared expenses, but it was no big deal because the plan was that after her intern she would get a job and start helping me. But things took a complete 180 because she eventually told me that she HATES her job, she misses her family plus financial strains are stressing her out, so she just feels that going back home is what she really wants. She does admit that if she had a job that she actually liked that she wouldn't be as stressed and that she probably wouldn't want to leave at all. I do feel that maybe she does need to move back for a while and get her own place, she also talks about how she needs to be independent and get out on her own because she always had a safety net of support, her family was always there for her financially and now I'm always there for her. I don't see what the big deal is having a partner who is always there for you, but I guess I can understand where she's coming from. She even said that she doesn't think that she wants to move back home forever, she just wants to go back home to be closer to her family for a while, get her very own place and pay her own bills, get a new job and see how things goes. She just said that she feels that she needs her experience. I understand where she's coming from, but I just don't want to sleep in the bed alone :( I don't want her to move back home for a supposed semester or two, realize that's what she wants and never come back to me :( I thought about moving to her hometown, but I can't. I wouldn't be able to find a job in my field (her hometown doesn't offer my career at all) plus I have family obligations here where I'm at.

2. I don't think she's playing games with me. I know that there's no way to be 100% certain, but I think that she's being truthful. She's always been faithful to me. This is a girl who was so guilty about giving out her phone number to another guy early in our relationship (a few weeks in) that she came to me upset and guilty. But who knows, that was 4 years ago and she was 19 at the time, I'm aware that people can change over time and I also wouldn't put a thing past anybody.

3. I do agree that the lines have been crossed and is sometimes blurred as far as "house rules" are concerned, but the reason why she decided to give me handjobs is because she supposedly wants to work things out. I have spent a few days away from the apt. and at one point she slept on the couch for a few days and at one point I've slept on the couch and on an air mattress as well for a few days, but we usually end up back "ok" and end up in the bed. She has no problem sleeping next to me, but sometimes if we get into a coversation about the relationship, she sleeps on the couch because she says that she thought that I didn't want her in the bed with me... which isn't the case.

4. Ok now here's the kicker, ending a relationship isn't as simple as clicking a light switch, especially if the other person (me) doesn't want that. You just can't wake up, tell another person that you aren't together and for that other person to instantly be OK with it. The relationship wasn't built and sustained over the course of a few weeks, so it's going to take longer than a few weeks for me to detach my emotions and feelings from her. So simply saying that "well you guys aren't together, so it's not cheating", it doesn't work like that. If we were together I couldn't get mad at her on Friday, say that we're not together, go out and have sex and get with protistutes over the weekend and then we could be back cool on Monday and technically I didn't cheat because I said that we weren't together over the weekend with complete disregard for her feelings. Would that be OK for me to do that? My friends were saying that (and I've been entertaining this thought as well) that if she's not giving it to you and that when she goes home on the weekend and doesn't answer your calls or responds to your text like she use to, then she could be out with another guy. I guess technically it would'nt be cheating, but I mean sheesh it's only been 2 months now and we live together along with me helping you out, you could at least show me some kind of respect and move out before you go out and find another boyfriend.

*She's confusing. She went back home for 2 weeks over the Christmas break (and we were on our break), but she was texting me like crazy and calling me a lot. I decided to just be hard and not let my emotions get to me and just give her space over the Christmas break, but she didn't want it, she texted and called me a lot. I had went out and got her a lot of presents for Christmas and she bought me a an expensive watch, so I mean I guess she still wanted to do for me. She acted real funny when she came down to pick up her gifts though, I came home on my lunch break from work to give her gifts to her, and she came in and was back to her "normal" self. She was gone for a week, so maybe that week did her some good (how does that saying go, time apart makes the heart grow fonder?). Anyway she comes in and I'm sitting on the couch watching TV not paying her too much attention because I mean she kind of dumped me a few weeks prior, but she comes in and strips down to her boy shorts and tshirt and just prances around the house. I'm still ignoring her watching TV and then she goes and lays on the couch all seductively and I'm still not paying her any attention. She then gets up and starts rubbing my neck all intimately and goes over to our bedroom and just stands there all seductively and says a few provocative things like "so you must not find me attractive" or "don't my hips look good in these boy shorts?" and I'm still ignoring her. So after she gets her gifts she comes and sits beside me and tells me she's going to do better by me and focus her attention on me more. I get up to go back to work because she had to go back home and she asks me if I was going to walk out the door without giving her a hug and a kiss :/ I asked her what the heck was she doing because just 2 weeks ago you didn't even want me touching you, but this 45 minutes that I've been around you, you've been acting like you didn't initiate a break up. I give her a hug and go back to work. A few days later we're talking on the phone and she's back being her "normal" self and she says that she thinks that she would have no problem having sex if we used condoms (because before we were using the pull-out method) and I said OK, sure, but a few days after the break when she came back to our place, she completely reneged and didn't have an explanation for why she had told me that. I feel like she's confused and doesn't know what she wants and in turn she's confusing the f*** out of me. That was during December, she hasn't really went back and forth This month (January) outside of us just being really cool and hanging out like we used to, so maybe she's getting comfortable with the break or she hasn't had time to miss me this month like she had in December. She also told me that she was missing my smile and the way I brush my hair and other random things when we were apart for the Christmas break.

Good Lord I've been typing my life story on here :P

Just a note. My ex-wife was on depo for a long time. I am pretty sure that it killed her libido. The problem with birthcontrol is that it plays with hormones and as such alters thinking and emotional patterns.

Often it brings to light problems and issues that have been either dormant or obvious to only one partner. Which seems to be the case here. I can draw a lot of parallels between what I read of what you posted and my relationship with my ex-wife. I didn't read it all, you posted a novel that contained a lot of meaningless details.

My best advice is move on. Let her make her way and make yours. She has made her decision and you're the only one that has yet to make peace with it. It sucks, but welcome to life.

Ok you guys, this week has been hell on me, but I found out the truth. She was manipulating and using me the entire time. The reason why she wanted a break in the first place was because there was another guy that she was interested in. She was acting odd these last couple of months especially the month of January. Long story short, she just wasn't being truthful with me. She wanted her cake and eat it too. She eventually told me (after I found texts in her phone and questionable transactions on her bank statements) that there was another guy. She told me that she didn't love me anymore and that she was tired of being in a relationship with me. She also told me that she had grown close to the other guy and that she has feelings for him. I tried to tell her that the guy is manipulating her and using her. She calls him whenever we get into an argument or fight and he just tells her everything that she wants to her, slowly reeling her in, but she didn't want to listen, so it is what it is.

It hurts man, it really does and I have absolutely no idea why she did this to me because outside of our issues with sex, I treated her really damn good. But that's life I suppose, that's life... thanks for the advice and possibilities guys.

I'm sorry.

I know you want to believe she is being manipulated. But from what you have written about her, I get the impression she is a master at manipulation.

Try not to allow your feeling for her to cloud your own judgment. It is too easy to get caught up in memories and the way you want things to be to the point where you lose sight of reality.

I hope she is making arrangements to find a new place to live.

She made choices and now it is time for you to make yours. You can choose to let her continue to play games or you can end it, heal and move forward with your life.

Take care of yourself and do what you can to limit the amount of confusion you are feeling. Good luck.

Hey Cat, yeah I know that she was manipulating me, but at the same time I know that this guy is doing the same to her.

Saturday - she went back to her home town and I called her later that evening and she didn't answer, so I called her sister. After getting the run around for a while and actually catching a few of her family in a lie she finally calls me and, like always, has this perfect excuse that makes me kind of question whether I was over reacting and if it was nothing.

Monday - I go through her phone that night when she's asleep and boy oh boy what do I find? I found a TON of texts to this other guy and after reading only 2 of the texts, my stomach dropped to my feet. I go into the bedroom and wake her up flipping out exclaiming to her to tell me the truth and she runs around saying "it's not what you think, it's not what you think. I would never do that to you." So she gives me this lame excuse about when she goes back home that everyone has her phone (and I know this to be true) and that those texts were from her cousin to her guy friend and that there are like 3 guys saved under one guy's name :/ She even picks up her phone and tries to call her cousin a few times, but the cousin doesn't answer. She even tries to show me the rest of the texts saying that if I had read the rest then I would know that it wasn't her texting that guy, but I didn't want to read anything, I saw what I saw. Like I said, that may have been true, but I don't know.

Tuesday - A close friend of hers calls me and tells me that she doesn't like the way my girlfriend treats me and that if she tells me some things that I would have to promise not to tell my girlfriend that she told me. The friend has a husband, and I know her so she has no reason to lie to me. So she tells me that I'm not crazy and that my girlfriend has been talking to a guy for 2 years off and on. I do believe that there may have been nothing serious with the guy for a while at first and that everything just got serious with my girlfriend and the guy a few months ago, but I do know that she was fostering the relationship to this point and that she should've cut ties with the guy or at least sat me down and talked to me when she felt things with the guy were progressing instead of trying to keep me and have the guy at the same time.

I go home again and flip the hell out telling her to just be honest with me, do you want another guy etc. She gets mad at me or whatever, I reach for her phone to see who she's been texting. She's punching and scratching me and I'm pushing and trying to get away from her with her phone. Absolutely horrible incident. We've NEVER got into a physical altercation at all during our 4 years and now we are. I talk to her mom and 2 aunts and all... and I just leave the apt for the night.

Wednesday - I take the week off work because my mind is just everywhere. I call my girlfriend and I talk to her calmly as possible. I tell her that I understand that we've been together for a while and that things can get complacent and boring in a relationship. Here comes this new person. A new look, a different personality, attractive and all of that and it makes you feel good to talk to them. I told her that I understand because it happened to me a couple years back. I was talking to a girl for a couple of weeks and she was telling me everything that I wanted to hear. Telling me that if she was my girlfriend then she'd do this thing and that thing. It sounded good at the time, so I sat my girlfriend down and told her that I was thinking that I needed a break from the relationship. She didn't like it and just didn't talk to me. After I did some thinking I realized that I wasn't thinking with my heart, I was thinking out of lust and a few hours later I went to my girlfriend and apologized and told her that I was sorry and she eventually forgave me, but I mean I was HONEST!

So anyway my girlfriend finally comes out and tells me the truth. It wasn't the 2 guys that she told me before, it was this other guy (supposedly). She told me that she got close to this guy back in October (She initiated the break in November) and that she has feelings for him (that was dagger one through my chest). She tells me that she has a connection with him that she doesn't have with me (dagger 2 through the chest). She tells me that she's not in love with me anymore and that she's tired of the relationship (Shotgun blast to the chest). All I kept asking was why? What did I do to you? I tell her that the guy is manipulating her and telling her what she wants to here. I'ma guy, I know how we operate. I tell her that she doesn't know this guy and she says that I've known him for 2 years :O That's when I realize that man the damage is done. This guy has got her mind completely gone. He's a play boy and has a girlfriend at the time, so he's just been sitting on the side lines getting in her head. She says that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all with either one of us, but I find that hard to believe if she has feelings for the guy.

Anyway so I try to talk to her and ask her can we just try to rebuild a friendship first and go from there, she says yes, but she's not about to stop talking and texting the other guy. She tells me that it's not always the guy texting her first, she texts him first a lot. Man that just hurts man. My girlfriend can barely text and talk to me over the weekend, but she has the need and the desire to text another guy at all hours of the night when she has to be up at 6 in the morning to go to work. I just picture her being all giddy and excited to text this guy and read his texts and just go "oh, that's just jason..." when I text her. It hurts. So that's when I realized that it had to officially end because there can't be 3 people in a relationship.

I call her mom and talk to her and tell her mom everything and that I was about to put her daughter out, well technically she put herself out. She's now staying with a friend girl atm. I also found out a bunch of other things from her friend girl that just spoke of my gfs morals and character (she tried to manipualte her friend and lied on me to get what she wanted out of her) that even if a few months from now and she realized that the guy wasn't worth it and that she wanted to get back together with me, it wouldn't work, not that soon.

I'm not mad at my ex at all, I'm just mad at her actions and dishonesty. I know that we were on two different places mentally. I just feel that she needs to grow up and has to make a few big mistakes, maybe date an a-hole or two and start paying her own rent and bills before she gets to the point where she understands what she did and what she really had in a guy like me. So that's basically it. I called her yesterday and she flipped out on me and was mad at me for taking my key back and putting her out, she was mad at me for going through her texts and looking through her bank transactions, really? You GAVE me reason to be suspicious and when I looked, I actually found things! I asked her how is this my fault and if she honestly felt that she didn't do anything wrong. She didn't care. She just kept telling me that she was going to change her number and that she never wants to talk to me again, really? So if there's anyone at fault here, it's me and me alone? The guy that paid our bills and rent and everything else. You kept a secret about this guy, continued to foster a relationship with him even after you knew that it was getting out of control, lied about your checks being garnished and everything else, and I'm the bad guy because I looked through your phone and checked the mail and asked you for the apt key back after I found all this out? YOU did this! I mean Jesus, just take accountability for your actions and at least be honest with yourself.

Ok so yeah I don't hate her, I'm not mad at her. I know that she just needs to grow up and I told her last night through a text (I can't call her because she'll just click on me again and talk crazy to me) that once she calms down and gets her mind together that if she needs anything that I'll continue to be there for her. If she needs advice on anything or whatever that she can call or text me if she wants. I know that she's just being stubborn and "hard" right now, but we have 4 years together, I know that she just can't get over me in a night. I know for a fact that the good times that we shared together GREATLY outweighs the bad. I just think that once she gets her own place and has to start paying her own bills and after this play boy gets tired of her and dog her out and shows his true color, THEN I think that's when reality is going to set in and she's going to have an "oh s***" moment, "Jason was right, wtf have I done!?"

Ok guys I know I type a lot, but that's basically it. Thanks for listening.