I have a relationship with this guy, he had a soccer betting job for living, he makes like $1000 per month, I think he is quite well off with his earnings. We've been dating for about 2 years now, and he only gives me a present once, and its for my birthday, and Christmas, because my birthday its close to Christmas and he only gave it to me because I ask him for it. Every single day I always come to his house, eat at his house, we barely go to the movie, or grab some bite on the weekend. He always said that he had no money, so he just stay at home every single day, and when we were eating at the restaurant, I often pay for the bill, because he said he forgot to go to the ATM, and he said he will pay me later, but he never does. And I never said anything because I think maybe he short of money, but I mean really?

But when it comes to his needs he actually can spent a lot of money like buying new TV, or new car, new toys, new clothes, etc. Its kind of annoying after 2 years dating, I gave him a lot of present for his birthday, or even when I travel I always come back and bring him some gifts, I like to make him happy, but I sometimes I want the same thing too. But he seems never really care about what I want, or how to make me happy, I never asked him too much, just a little attention for me. That's all.

When I bring up to the conversation about whether his stingy or not. He mad about it, and call me the stingy one instead. Please give me some advise I desperately need it. Do you actually think he is a stingy person?

There are givers and there are takers in life. Your boyfriend is a taker. He will not change. You don't go out with a dog and expect it to meow. Same way, you can't go out with a taker and expect him to give. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are telling you loud and clear that he will spend all the money on himself and very little, if any, on you. Stingy, in this case, is an understatement. Not wanting to spend a lot of money outside all the time if you're not making a lot is fine, because it's OK to save for a rainy day or to just save up for a new house, car, etc... but going out with you for two years and expecting you to pay every time and calling you the stingy person... you can finish this sentence yourself.

You are asking a question you already know the answer to. If his behaviour is bothering you now, it will only get worse. You need to make a decision on whether this relationship fulfils you. To have stayed with him for two years shows that you're not a materialistic person, but yet want to see that he gives something back some of the time, and this doesn't seem to be the case.

The choice is yours. Hope you make the right one.

There is a thing called what you will do, and what you don't do. You don't take care of somebody that's not willing too take care of you. If your giving him your all, and he is giving you nothing in return, his not your guy. Two years is a long time to just let a man mistreat you, and just use you.

So you have too decide if you want love, and support from your partner, or if you want to be the only one giving in this relationship. Because he can't. Take what you don't give him, and when you stop giving then maybe he will stop looking for things, and start being a giver, or let him go.

And it's on two the next one that will give you. I don't have a problem with takers, but if you're a taker that never likes to give, then that's when I have a problem with that. You just have to know how too spot a giver out from the rest.

missjbthebosss:-)



Edited/T

He is the way he is and stingy or not, its your choice how much you will tolerate. Doubt he changes.

Thanks guys for the advised, its just so hard to choose between your heart and your brain. Actually he broke up with me last September after one month we get back together again, first time back he begged me to stay and promise me that he will change, everything seems so convincing, and he even bring up the marriage words. And he said he feel sorry for every little thing, he said it was just a misunderstanding between me and him. Its because we didn't talk about our problems. But still I didn't see anything changes. Sure first week we get back together it is so very pleasing, but now I feel the same all over again. And I feel so stupid for taking him back. I just don't know how to end it for sure. Every little thing with him I feel I was the givers and keep giving everything emotionally, physically, and financially. I just hope that he somehow will change. Is it stupid to think that?

One of my favourite sayings is "Actions speak louder than words", and it couldn't be more true. He can promise you the world and tell you time and again that he will change, but if he doesn't follow his words with actions, what good is that?

Many a heart has been broken by people who date someone hoping they can change them. He has had the chance since last September (I'm assuming that was 14 months ago?) to make all the changes he'd promised you, so why hasn't he?

We hang on to unhappy relationships because we fear the unknown and convince ourselves that time will bring about changes and the fairy tale you've always dreamed of will magically appear one day. Staying in an unhappy relationship will only eat away at your soul and grow your resentment towards your partner. That's not what you want.

Have a heart-to-heart with your man and tell him exactly how you feel. If his behaviour is wearing you out and you feel like you're slowly losing hope and motivation to continue, he needs to hear it. If this doesn't bring about the changes you're asking to see, you can them make your decision with no regrets. And yes, it's hard to choose between your heart and your brain, but your brain is usually what you should be listening to.

From what you have shared with us, your boyfriend is stingy and you are better off without him. It is a sin to be stingy and it is a sin to take food, gifts, etc. from a stingy person. When a stingy person gives his heart is not with you for he is calculating his cost of giving to you. Ever heard of the expression, "give from your heart?" Your boyfriend is only about himself. He will not change. Let me share a verse from the bible to illustrate what I mean... "Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsels that you have eaten, and waste your pleasant words.". This excerpt is from Proverbs 23:6-8. Don't get me wrong, I am not a religious fanatic and I don't go to church, but I do read the bible, but from what I have always read and been told, stinginess is a sin. Think back on Ebenezar Scrooge, if he did not change his ways (being stingy), he was going to be doomed to a lonely death. Stinginess is evil and being this way is abiding by Satan not God's way. Hope I answered your question.