We used to have a great and enjoyable relationship with each other where we'd go do all sorts of things all the time. Since school has started, everything changed. Last semester, she spent most of the time with me and things were good (when school wasn't stressing her out). This semester though she never seems to want to come to see me (we live about 45min. Away). I try to see her whenever possible. I even bring flowers and other gifts just to be a little romantic and brighten her day. But she has cats (I'm allergic) and nowhere for me to sleep so I can't stay long even though I try to fight through it.

She tells me she loves me, she misses me, that I'm the most important thing in her life, and I know she means it because it usually makes her cry. It's when I say I'm unable to do something when she asks or when she's just really stressed out from her day, she just wants to end everything and will say that she's not happy with us. Then the next day she'll say she's sorry and can't live without me. I'm lost here.

We have talked about all this. She tells me she hates it when she hurts me, but when she gets upset, she puts up a brick wall to her emotions and just gets cold. The distance between where we live is nothing to me. She likes it here when she's here, but hates the city I live in. I've told her that things will be different when I finish my degree as well as when she finishes hers. I never planned on living where I'm at my whole life. We are both working for our futures and do give each other space to do so.

I haven't seen her in about a week. We just call each other to say we love each other and give good day wishes. We've talked and agreed that we need that space, but then she'll call out of the blue and say she misses me and wants me to come down. I usually try to, but when I can't (work, school), she gets upset and thinks things aren't going to work out. I've told her that I can see her the next day or what not when we're both available, but she's still upset from before.

She's also starting to sound jealous. She'll ask me if I want other girls and I tell that I gave HER the ring and made that commitment to only HER because I love only HER. She likes to snoop and I let her get that out only to prove to her that I have nothing to hide. I know she has self-esteem issues and anxiety (dad was dead-beat who left and other boyfriends treated her like crap) so I try to respect that and tell her everyday how beautiful and great she is. It's always her excuse that I can do better than her is why she wants to end things and that I think comes from those bad guys.

I am a good guy and I know she knows that and I don't want to be identified with those other guys in her life. I'm not just doing it for her either. She's the one who inspires me to work harder and want a future and when she's not upset and trying to break it off, she supports me, encourages me, and helps me with that.

I may be wrong but it sounds to me like there is something she is unhappy with and is reluctant to tell you because she does not want to hurt your feeling.

Personally, I think you need to take a look at yourself and where you live. Don't take this the wrong way but begin by checking your hygiene and then take a good look at your home. Could it be doing with getting fixed up a bit? Guys living on their own are apt to 'make do'. Whereas woman usually like things nice and smelling sweet. Fix your place up a bit with her in mind.

As for spending time at her place, there are pills for allergies that you could take to feel more comfortable about the cats.

No offence meant - Just a couple of things to consider. It does sound like she cares about you. If she didn't, you would know what the problem was because she would just blurt it right now with no consideration for your feelings.

CLARITIN works miracles. Claritin is the best allergy medicine with my experience.

I had a deathly allergic to many animals. Used to feel drugged up all the time with benadryl. Never worked. I would take one pill before even going close to my allergy and sure Enough it would keep it at bay and did not even effect my asthma as it normally would, with claritin.

Joe

Sounds good.

I'm also allergic to cats and here in the UK the best allergy pill is Piratone.

Just a little information for any UK readers.

She could also help you by keeping one of the rooms that you will stay at cat free. Or extra cleaned just to keep those mites and hair away.

Unless she gets help coming to terms with her insecurities and baggage from her father and past relationships, she will sabotage this relationship. You can encourage her to do that, but you can't do it for her. You will be tempted to feel guilty, and she will encourage that feeling, but it really is her baggage to deal with, and you can't beat yourself up if she isn't willing to do the hard work required. I feel for you. This is a "learning experience" for both of you.

Long distance relationships are so hard to maintain, add to that the stresses of life almost impossible for most. You are both growing and learning, but not together. That distance magnifies the insecurities and the stresses to a level you both have to handle individually. Now that your trying to learn about each other as you grow the distance is becoming a stumbling block in my opinion and keeps you both from the learning to deal with each other face to face, one on one, which I think is so important to a relationship. Recognise when stress makes you need someone, that phone, or text is no substitute for a touch, or a smile. How can you learn good communications without seeing her body language or her reading your expressions, You miss a lot and honestly, without you both being patient and creative and understanding that distance cannot be overcome.