My ex and I had been going out for a year and two months, and I look back on our relationship and realize he wasn't a good boyfriend at all. He would never want to take me anywhere or be with me at all. We broke up about five months ago and it was the worst pain I have ever felt. I literally felt like I broke in half. During the time of our relationship and after, a lot of hard things had happened in my life: my grandfather and two of my aunts died, my parents went bankrupt and got divorced, and my entire group of friends stopped hanging out with me. I feel as though I am finally restarting my life, I even have a new boyfriend whom I like very much, but I am afraid I'm treating my new boyfriend the way my ex treated me: like I am not as committed to the relationship as he is. And I can't help missing my ex, especially when he says if we would have met later in life we would have worked out. I just don't know how to get over him when all I can do is think about how much I miss him. Please help!

How old are you?

Maybe you are at a time in your life where other things should be more important than a relationship, and what you have been through needs to be recovered from, through some proper healing, and rebuilding of your life by YOU, so you can be happy with YOURSELF, and enjoy yourself, again.

Its also likely you are just treating others as you have been treated (POORLY), instead of treating them the way you WANT to be treated (GOOD).

Start treating yourself well, and soon that's the way you will treat others. Be good to YOURSELF.

Most people have the tendency to take those who treat them good for granted. Sometimes subconsciously and sometimes not. Your ex did that very well. You said you broke up with him about five months ago, but don't mention who broke up with who, but I'm assuming it was him since you say you felt pain and were broken. These things are never easy and I can feel your pain. I'm sorry you went through this and for the loss of other important people in your life.

I would like you to write down all the reasons you said he wasn't a good boyfriend to you on a piece of paper and read it out loud to yourself a few times. Then ask yourself what exactly about him is it that you miss. His looks? His body? His wardrobe? None of these things should matter to you at all because with time they wear out and the important things that truly matter will eventually show their lacking.
I honestly believe that you miss him precisely because he wasn't good to you. When a person is not confident and is insecure, they let others treat them badly because they think they're not worth it and being treated badly puts them in a comfort zone. So many people are afraid of being with an amazing person because they're afraid of being happy, or are afraid of the other person seeing the 'real' you, which is a far-from-perfect person in your own eyes. So you allow the other person to treat you that way because, well, you say to yourself: 'that way I won't fall hard if this dream comes to an end'.

If you were a fly on the wall every time you two were together and looked at the way he treated you, what would you think? What would you say to yourself? Would you (as the fly) advice you (the girl) to stay and take his s**t or would you ask that girl if there's something wrong in her head? You know very well that you would have told anyone in your shoes to walk away and never look back... but that's easy when emotions are not involved. As soon as feelings and emotions come into the picture, rational decisions walk out the door and blind love takes over.

I am not sure five months is enough of a period for you to get over the pain you felt and I suspect that the new boyfriend may be somewhat of a rebound. You don't treat him well (taking him for granted, see?) and he doesn't deserve to get a taste of your own medicine.

Take alone time and think of all the reasons you're better off without your ex and convince yourself that it was for the better and then tell yourself that you need someone to bring out the best in you, who sees the best in you and who will love you just as much as you love him.

I hope you feel better soon. Good luck.

First things first, you have to look at everything that has happened to you as a learning experience.
If your ex never took you out anywhere or wanted to be with you, and your doing the same thing to this new guy can simply mean you might not be that into him just like it seems your ex wasn't. I think your best bet is to be single and find yourself. Its also not healthy to be in this relationship with someone else on your mind. Don't lead someone on just because you don't want to be alone. And I'm also sorry to hear about your grandfather and aunts my heart goes out to your family.

Omg... I thought that was me who sent this in but I realised have never been on this website. I was with my ex for 14 months too. He was a pretty terrible boyfriend half the time and he ended up dumping me, and after he broke up with my all those kind of things happened to me now and now it feels like a new chapter in my life. Except I haven't mastered the getting a new boyfriend part. Lucky you in that department.