Why are there so many straight women going for lesbians today? What in the world attracts women to other women, when there are so many of us straight men that want very much to meet a good woman for us today? These women must have had a very bad experience with men, and were so violently abused by them as well. But now this is making it very difficult for us good men that do know how to treat women today, and we cannot seem to meet the right one for us now. As a single man that was married twice at one time, I was a very caring and loving husband that never cheated on them. And they both did cheat on me, and I was very committed to them as well. Now that I go out a lot I always meet the very trashy ones, with their no good attitudes. Where are the straight women now, for us straight men today?

I'm a woman and I'm not aware that "so many" straight women are "going for lesbians". It would seem to be that gay or bisexual women are attracted to lesbians.

You were married twice and both wives cheated on you - with men or with women?

And a lot depends on where you are meeting these "trashy ones with their no good attitudes." I have more than a few attractive, successful single friends, none of them "trashy." They go to meetings, belong to clubs, go to shows and plays and musicals, don't hang out in bars.

Maybe you are hanging out where "trashy" women hang out.

If you told me you were married twice and both wives cheated on you (just my thoughts) I'd run other way. You either are a poor judge of women or there's some other problem.

What makes you a "good man"? Tell "us" about yourself.

As far as I know there's no research that women become lesbians because of bad experiences with and/or abuse at the hands of men.

"Straight" women don't fall for anyone but guys. You aren't straight if you have anything but purely heterosexual inclinations.

Now a "Bi" woman might... and a "Lesbian" most certainly would.

I am a straight woman who likes straight guys. Umm, so youw ere married to two women at ONCE? Are you a polgymist?

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As a single man that was married twice at one time

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Did they know about each other?

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Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I am a straight woman who likes straight guys. Umm, so youw ere married to two women at ONCE? Are you a polgymist? Did they know about each other?

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- good point. Twice at one time. Hmmm. Maybe that's how the two women met.

Agree the question itself is false and based on a untruth. First straight women don't fall in love with lesbians, and second even if a few did, it is not many by any means.

To judykaytee, you have to understand where I live there are so many women that have a very bad attitude, and do hate men. The women that I was married to at the time, cheated on me with other women. That is why where I live, there are plenty of lesbians today. There is nothing wrong with me because, I never mistreated them in anyway and I was a very caring and loving husband as well. It was not good enough for them, the way I see it. There are so many women now that need the attention from other women instead of men, very sad. Two years ago, my friend's wife left him for another woman. He has two children. They were married for ten years, before this happened to him. It is hard for him to explain that to his children, since they are too young to understand what happened. I do go out a lot myself, hoping that I will be at the right place at the right time to meet another good woman for me again. Being single and alone again is sad for me, especially for the holidays. God must be punishing me for a reason I do not know, especially when I see other married couples that were very lucky to have each other.

As was said, a straight woman is not going to go to a lesbian unless she is actually bisexual or a lesbian herself. Someone does not "turn" into a homosexual.

There are people, both men and women, who do not want to face their sexuality either due to shame, confusion, or fear of repercussion from others, so they hide it. Sooner or later, however, it often is revealed... such is likely the situation of your friend who was married for a long time and yourself. It is understandable, given your own experience and that of your friend, that it appears that many women are going to lesbians, but that is simply your own perspective and not a reality.

Where are you going to meet people? Are you able to go other places? Are there connection groups in your area for singles to get involved in different activities? What about friends or family introducing you to women you may be interested in? What about some of the reputable online dating sites?

The thing that both of your ex wives have in common is YOU.

I suggest going to therapy to help get past the idea that women left you for other women and help determine why they REALLY left you. If nothing else, it will help you to avoid attracting other bisexual women in the future.

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Originally Posted by benneyd

... i never mistreated them in anyway and i was a very caring and loving husband as well. it was not good enough for them, the way i see it ... two years ago, my friend's wife left him for another woman. he has two children. they were married for ten years, before this happened to him. it is hard for him to explain that to his children, since they are too young to understand what happened ... i do go out a lot myself, hoping that i will be at the right place at the right time to meet another good woman for me again. being single and alone again is sad for me, especially for the holidays. god must be punishing me for a reason i do not know, especially when i see other married couples that were very lucky to have each other.

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Okay, I edited you somewhat. YOU think you were a loving, caring husband. Something else apparently was missing in the relationship or they didn't see you the same way you see yourself. Two out of two were lesbians and you never noticed?

I have a friend who was hit by a school bus. That doesn't lead me to believe that anyone else I know will be hit by a school bus.

And PLEASE don't bring your God into this conversation. The place for that is the religious threads.

And I'll ask my original question again - where do you go when you go out?

As an aside - I lived in the Village in NYC for a period. I was surrounded by lesbians and gays. I was straight. It never was a problem. I still found straight guys to date.

I still want to know about the two at once. You said you were married to two women at one time, this by many standards is considered cheating.

Let me explain something to you women out there, I am a straight man that was married twice. But not at the same time. I was married the first time for twelve years, the second time for seven years. Both of the women cheated on me with other men, not women. Plus my second wife is bipolar, which made it worse for me. So as you can see I have bad luck with women, not my fault at all. I did not do anything wrong to cause this. It seems a lot of men were blessed out there to have met the right women for them and have families, and others like me that were not as lucky as them. Why I do not know. I wanted my second marriage to work out, even though she is bipolar. I tried a lot to work it out, because I loved her very much. Now that I am in my late fifties, it is very hard to meet a good woman for me again as you can see. Once again, I cannot blame myself like I have said before. I had to explain this story to you the right way, sorry for not explaining it the right way the first time. Have a happy and safe holiday.

Your original post was very misleading. Sorry for the confusion.

I have been cheated on, in abusive relationships, dated serial liars and fakes. BUT I don't think all men are bad people. Yes, I will agree it sounds like you have had a rough go with women, and it's unfortunate that you have had these experiences. But not all women are like that! I dated a man who worked on oil rigs and was gone 2 months at a time and he stayed loyal, never once cheated or gave me any reason to doubt him. I dated a guy who worked and lived in the same town as me, and every chance he got, was cheating on me.

I could easily say all men are abusive, cheating, liars. But I know that for every scum bag, there is an equally great guy out there. If you go out there with the attitude that all women are lesbians or cheaters, you aren't going to attract a self confident woman. Any smart woman wouldn't give a guy like that the time of day. They have their lives going for them, and they don't have time for men/people who aren't going to be a positive influence in their lives. I am younger, but single. I haven't (totally--haha) given up on men. Yes I get frustrated and feel like there is no good men left. But I know if I go out there with the attitude that any man I meet isn't worth my time, I am NEVER going to meet the man that IS worth my time.

I kissed a lot of toads in my day. I always figured that eventually a Prince would have to come along - and one did. Two, in fact (I'm a widow, remarried).

I also realized that I wasn't going to meet anyone sitting in my house and waiting for the Prince to knock on my door - you have to get out there.

No God is not punishing you, I agree with the other person who said do not go into bars. Most of the time you can find nice women in Flea markets and beauty salons such as Jc Penny they have salons in malls the rest rooms are close to hair salons. Go to a hair stylist and get a hair cut. Seek and you will find at the right time. I have to say I have seen a change in some women. The song I kissed a girl made girls start looking at others. Many may be just curious, it may be a fade that dies out, give it time and how about going to a small city 40 or 50 miles away. Try meeting a Christian woman on the computer, normally if you look for a good Christian Woman she isn't going to be the type to flip. That is what I hear it is called, the gay women attempt to take a straight girl and flip her.

Try and not rush it, and how about getting on the sight where people who went to school with one another meet. I've had several men I went to school with ask me out now over the computer. Start slow and not rush into anything with the woman, try to learn about her first and then precede slowly this way love lasts. Good luck you will find someone eventually. I did not go to bars because I did not want that kind of man. After years alone { and I was considered one of the top } I eventually did go to a bar, I met a man who drank and I do not smoke nor drink, but atlas he stopped drinking and has not drank for 4 years now. We are very happy. Best of luck

Are you saying that a song has turned women gay? How about women finally feeling no restrictions from relgious groups and other closed minded people? People do not turn gay, people do not choose to be gay, people are born gay, and it SHOULD be as acceptable as one being born with blue eyes or brown hair. Being gay is not a fad, and will not die out.

If you really want to meet a great PERSON, it's time to change your out dated thinking and open your mind to the different types of people that make this world go 'round.

No song, movie, TV show has ever made anyone "turn" gay.

What does you "were considered one of the top" mean?

To be honest what I have found is that women go for what is accepted by others, and these days heterosexuality is very much discouraged. And as everyone needs company, that's why girls or women go for other females

There are so many lesbians and bi women today. I have to agree with the last person on that one. Many women out there now are just attracted to their own sex, instead of us men. Why is that? I myself as a straight man, would like to meet a good straight woman for me now. The problem is, most of the women are no good pigs. I can see how they act, and many of them are a real low life today. They must have been very severely abused by the men in the past, and now many of them hate men. There is nothing wrong for a straight man like me that would like very much to meet the right one for me, like I have said before. Can you blame me, since I am alone and single now. It is very hard to start a conversation with them because, they are very nasty and walk away. Even the ones that are straight have a very bad attitude as well. So how do you expect us men to meet good straight women if they act like this now. I have done nothing wrong on my part to cause this to happen to me, that is for sure. Where are the decent women today? Do they exist? It now appears, all the good ones have been taken.

I refuse to believe that men can't find a straight woman unless there is something HE is doing to put them off.

Guess what? Women can sense when you think they're all "no good pigs" and steer clear of you. We can also sense desperation and lack of self confidence. What you project to the world directly influences who you attract into your sphere of being.

PS--an open mind might help some of you guys a lot. I'm bi, and have been married (and monogamous) for 16 years. Just because I'm ATTRACTED to both sexes doesn't mean I NEED both to be happy.

The bottom line is that YOU are the common denominator in all those women you're complaining about. What does that say about YOU?