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-   -   I need a boyfriend! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=61683)

  • Feb 9, 2007, 11:24 PM
    iiheartloserrrs
    I need a boyfriend!
    I have been single for wayyy too long now! Me and my baby's daddy was together for about 3 years and after we broke up, I didn't really care to get into another relationship. I did actully after 5 months but me and that guy only lasted for about 3 months, and then we broke up! I just turned 20 years old, I know I'm still young but I'm sure I'm more mature then other 20 year olds! I've been single for about a year now, don't get me wrong but I do go on dates with guys and have my share of sex but I can't seem to keep the ones I do like, and the ones I don't like wants me? I'm not picky either well I perfer a "whiteboy":D haha I'm not concited or anything but I do think I'm decent 5'0", about 120lbs, 34Cs black hair, and very nice some times just too nice:p i go out a lot to bars, clubs, and house parties every weekend im out and actully weekdays too!! lol... i love to have fun i meet a lot of ramdom guys more older guys though but they all end up just wanting "sex"?? and nothing more!! my friends all have boyfriends except for me?? why?? i wanna be able to do boyfriend and girlfriend stuff with my friends too!! haha i guess im "hopeless romantic"? Right? Or maybe I'm really not ready for another relationship? Who knows...
  • Feb 10, 2007, 01:49 AM
    JoeCanada76
    I honestly think it is not a right time to be in a relationship for you. This title of I need a boyfriend. No you do not. You do not need anything, except take care of yourself and grow and experience life right now. Just because your friends have partners does not mean you are meant to or even need one. If you force yourself to be with somebody, or find somebody I can tell you right now it will end in heartache and I am sure you do not want that, right?

    So keep cool, calm and relaxed and do not rush. Take this time to do things you want to do in life and later on everything will come into place.

    Joe
  • Feb 10, 2007, 10:44 AM
    kristynn
    I think you seem really desperate. Sorry, no offense.
    Maybe the "random" guys that you meet want only sex from you because of this.

    Take it easy! You'll find the right person w/o trying TOO hard to find him! Good luck :)
  • Feb 10, 2007, 02:44 PM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by iiheartloserrrs
    i go out a lot to bars, clubs, and house parties every weekend im out and actully weekdays too!! lol... i love to have fun i meet a lot of ramdom guys more older guys though but they all end up just wanting "sex"?? and nothing more!!

    It sounds to me like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. The bar and party crowd is a great place to get laid, but not so good for meeting people who care about other things. I'd suggest volunteering, possibly working with children in some capacity, or maybe a single parent support group. If you go out looking to fill a void you perceive in yourself, to get what you think you want or need, you're likely to find selfish, greedy people. On the other hand, if you go out looking to help and serve others, to meet their needs by sharing what you have and know, you're far more likely to find generous, kind and caring people. Try it. You'll be amazed.
  • Feb 10, 2007, 07:37 PM
    iiheartloserrrs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
    I honestly think it is not a right time to be in a relationship for you. This title of I need a boyfriend. No you do not. You do not need anything, except take care of yourself and grow and experiance life right now. Just because your friends have partners does not mean you are meant to or even need one. If you force yourself to be with somebody, or find somebody I can tell you right now it will end in heartache and I am sure you do not want that, right?

    So keep cool, calm and relaxed and do not rush. Take this time to do things you want to do in life and later on everything will come into place.

    Joe




    Thank you, now I'm thinking maybe it isn't the time for me?
    Maybe I am desprate? Maybe I'm not? Maybe I just
    Want to be loved? Whatever who knows!
  • Feb 10, 2007, 08:56 PM
    kristynn
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ordinaryguy
    It sounds to me like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. The bar and party crowd is a great place to get laid, but not so good for meeting people who care about other things. I'd suggest volunteering, possibly working with children in some capacity, or maybe a single parent support group. If you go out looking to fill a void you perceive in yourself, to get what you think you want or need, you're likely to find selfish, greedy people. On the other hand, if you go out looking to help and serve others, to meet their needs by sharing what you have and know, you're far more likely to find generous, kind and caring people. Try it. You'll be amazed.

    Very true. I doubt you'll find your "future husband" in a bar or club... Just saying it sounds unrealistic to me. :rolleyes: I'm exaggerating a bit...

    People there are only looking for fun and how to obtain the most of it. You're looking for something else, not only for fun.

    I also believe that good things happen when you least expect them. Who knows where/when/how you'll find the boyfriend you deserve.
  • Feb 10, 2007, 08:59 PM
    JoeCanada76
    I do believe and feel the same way. That good things happen when you least expect them. So I think it is best for this person to stop looking. To stop seeking and when the right time comes it will happen, and it will be the right time.

    Joe


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kristynn
    Very true. I doubt you'll find your "future husband" in a bar or club ... Just saying it sounds unrealistic to me. :rolleyes: I'm exaggerating a bit....

    People there are only looking for fun and how to obtain the most of it. You're looking for something else, not only for fun.

    I also believe that good things happen when you least expect them. Who knows where/when/how you'll find the boyfriend you deserve.

  • Feb 10, 2007, 09:04 PM
    iiheartloserrrs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kristynn
    Very true. I doubt you'll find your "future husband" in a bar or club ... Just saying it sounds unrealistic to me. :rolleyes: I'm exaggerating a bit....

    People there are only looking for fun and how to obtain the most of it. You're looking for something else, not only for fun.

    I also believe that good things happen when you least expect them. Who knows where/when/how you'll find the boyfriend you deserve.



    Thanks kristynn!
    Ill keep that in mind!
  • Feb 12, 2007, 01:47 PM
    Tony J
    Sounds like you have a very high need for affiliation. I do not believe that if you are going out to find a boyfriend you will ever find anyone worth a crap. Desperation leads us to weird places. You will find a man in due time... but for now, stop dating losers.
  • Feb 12, 2007, 01:54 PM
    Synnen
    Okay... the thing that caught my attention in her post that I don't think anyone else commented on is the part about her baby's daddy!

    Honey... you have more important things to think about than going out every weekend and holiday looking for a guy and having sex.

    Take care of your kid, take care of yourself, and forget about guys for a while.
  • Feb 12, 2007, 02:42 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ordinaryguy
    It sounds to me like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. The bar and party crowd is a great place to get laid, but not so good for meeting people who care about other things. I'd suggest volunteering, possibly working with children in some capacity, or maybe a single parent support group. If you go out looking to fill a void you perceive in yourself, to get what you think you want or need, you're likely to find selfish, greedy people. On the other hand, if you go out looking to help and serve others, to meet their needs by sharing what you have and know, you're far more likely to find generous, kind and caring people. Try it. You'll be amazed.

    I think this is some of the best advice for someone to get in your situation. Getting out of those bars and seeing a totally different kinds of people and giving of yourself will have many benefits in your life and may influence you to do something besides looking for losers to make you happy. Take care of your child and be her role model.
  • Feb 15, 2007, 04:32 PM
    misunderstood22
    I feel that same way. I'm tired of being alone. But you have a child so your main focus should be your child. If God finds a man that's good enough for you trust me he'll send him your way. I too am just sitting back waiting for Mr. Right. Anyway just focus on your child and leave them men alone. Take some me time.

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