I had my son with my ex-boyfriend and was pregnant with our daughter when we broke up. After the split, I met a great guy. We fell in love and later decided to get married. I've been with my husband since I was six months pregnant with my daughter and since then, we got married and had two more kids. I want my ex-boyfriend to give up up his rights but he won't. By law is there any way to terminate them without his consent?

Probably not. What is the relationship with the child? Does he visit, or pay support?

It is almost impossible to get someone's rights removed UNLESS he is a danger to the child, and even then it's a problem.

If your husband is willing to ADOPT your child, then it's a possibility. You still need the consent of the birth father BUT the birth father might be willing to trade his signature for not having to pay child support.

He is supposed to pay child support but doesn't. And he NEVER sees them. He doesn't even make an effort.

We talked about it and he decided that he wants to adopt them.

Wonderful! Then get the process in motion. You will need an Attorney and the Attorney will prepare the paperwork.

If you want to give it a try you can contact the birth father directly, tell him your husband wants to adopt the children, this relieves the birth father of support obligations. See what he says.

(You married a good man!)

That's a good way to present the idea to my ex-boyfriend. If I tell him he won't be obligated to pay child support, he might be more willing to sign his rights over. He doesn't see my kids anyway. Thanks!

Explain that you will begin enforcement of the child support order like he has never seen, you will get him served with contempt of court for not paying, you will try to ** depends on your state laws** ( have his drivers license revolked, have him put in jail) start to garnish his wages.

You will basic see that he starts paying support if you have to spend every waking moment of your life making it happen.
Which of course is what you should have done anyway.

Just an addition to the excellent points everyone else has made... if a portion of the support balance is owed to the state, you cannot waive those arrears.

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Originally Posted by kcomissiong

Just an addition to the excellent points everyone else has made...if a portion of the support balance is owed to the state, you cannot waive those arrears.

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No, but in NY the State can, upon application. If this "glitch" will hold up the adoption the State very well may along with removing liability.

And agree with FrChuck - I would be upfront but firm. You can make his life less than happy if he does not agree.