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-   -   Would you have an issue with this set up? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=616225)

  • Dec 1, 2011, 04:43 PM
    sparker0901
    Would you have an issue with this set up?
    I am 22, female, and I still live at home with my mom and brother.
    I work 40 hours a week at one job and I will be working 8-12 at my other job.
    I pay for all my own stuff, my car(which is in my name and owned by me), cell phone(not in my mom's name either), car insurance(under my name), food, bathroom stuff, etc.

    I don't have a curfew. My mom says if I can get in the house with out disturbing anyone then she won't set a curfew but if I start waking people up coming in then she'll set a curfew.
    I also don't HAVE to come home at night, if I want to crash at a friends house I don't have to ask permission.
    I can also spend the night at guys houses.
    I don't have to ask permission to do anything.

    I am hardly ever home, all I have to do is keep my room clean and do my part in keeping the bathroom I share with my brother clean.
    I don't get punished anymore.

    Would you change anything or add anything?
    Or would you be cool with how things are here?
  • Dec 1, 2011, 05:09 PM
    Wondergirl
    I would be cool, but would wonder when you'd be moving out.
  • Dec 1, 2011, 05:35 PM
    sparker0901
    As soon as I get a few paychecks from my new job.
  • Dec 1, 2011, 05:52 PM
    Wondergirl
    Do you pay me rent?
  • Dec 1, 2011, 10:20 PM
    sparker0901
    No, I am saving to move out.
    Plus I pay for all the rest of my stuff.
  • Dec 1, 2011, 10:30 PM
    J_9
    I'm cool with it aside from this part, kind of...

    Quote:

    if I want to crash at a friends house I don't have to ask permission
    Do you let your mom know if you are going to be out all night? I don't think you need permission at your age, but it's a courtesy to let your mom know that you won't be home so that she doesn't have to worry that something happened to you.
  • Dec 1, 2011, 10:59 PM
    sparker0901
    Quote:

    Do you let your mom know if you are going to be out all night? I don't think you need permission at your age, but it's a courtesy to let your mom know that you won't be home so that she doesn't have to worry that something happened to you.
    She used to ask but she stopped for the most part.
    Usually if I leave its to go to the guy I am seeings apt.
    Sometimes she's already asleep when I leave and sometimes she sees me leave and ask me if I'll be back, sometimes I'm not sure if I am coming home or not and I'll tell her that.

    For the most part she's in her room and asleep by the time I leave for the night.
    She's gotten used to if I'm not here then she knows I am at the guy I am seeings house.
  • Dec 1, 2011, 11:01 PM
    J_9
    It sounds like you have a great set up there! You are a lucky girl!
  • Dec 1, 2011, 11:10 PM
    sparker0901
    Quote:

    It sounds like you have a great set up there! You are a lucky girl!
    Yeah, I would say so too.
  • Dec 2, 2011, 04:31 PM
    DoulaLC
    In some ways, this is a similar set up to what my youngest daughter has. However, one thing that I found helpful, is to just leave a note on the kitchen counter if you are going to be out. I do this for my kids when I am going to be out as well (I actually do it more than they do!). We are all so busy, coming and going, that it helps to avoid unnecessary worry.

    I have gotten the occasional text message of "Where are you?" when I didn't leave a note or didn't return at the time I expected to... :) Kids are checking up on me now!
  • Dec 8, 2011, 08:58 AM
    enigmaroxie
    Well, I have to say, you have it made. What seems to be the real issue here. I'm a 49 year old mother with an 18 year old son, and I let him do just about anything he wants. I set no boundries. After all, he's a boy. I get treated like total ****. I'm always nice to him and his girlfriend, and in turn, I get treated like this. I have to say, If you are being a good girl, and not causing any problems between yourself or others in the house, I see no problem here. Let me ask you, Do you get along with all the people in your home? If you do, then stop thinking so much. Always remember to be nice to all, and do the right things, and you should feel very fortunate that you have such a nice setup. Don't worry so much as long as you know you're in the clear. I wish you the best of luck, and remember, YOUR FAMILY IS IMPORTANT. Don't be like my son, and disrespect anyone. If you know you are doing the right thing, then all such be great.

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