Hello everybody,

I am a girl , and in few words, I need you to share with me steps or anything to do in order to forget about a losten love (in my case: I found that I loved someone who already loves another girl.) please how to recover from this shock , and how to never think of him as a love,, how to forget him? Thank

Do not have any contact with him at all, and stay busy doing the things you enjoy with out him. Try new places and people and new things. In time he will be less in your thoughts and as you build that life you will feel better and yes time does heal the wounds if you let it.

Hi Salsa,

First good for you, for knowing that you do need to not think of him as a love. Huge first step and GREAT!

Next, love yourself enough to want better! You know all that great qualities that you have to offer and if someone is unable to cherish that, than you accept that, and cherish those qualities that you have yourself and move on.

Surround yourself with those that truly care about you. You will find by distracting yourself that a little healing creeps in without you even knowing it.

Continue to look forward and just know there truly are better days ahead, as Tal said, if you let time be a healer.

My very best to you and stick around there are many who are healing right with you :)

I truly believe "time is the best healer" for losing anyone in your life. I also think we meet people for a reason and that every person we meet teaches us something.

Thoughts are with you

I appreciate your kindness guys, and I believe that there still some people who
really care about the others. Thank you for being supportive, and I confess that your words were such a big source of power for me to make a change in my attitude " I will concern what happened to me as a lesson and an experience for the days coming.

God bless you all...

Hi Salsa (By the way, I just love that name)

It's a two way street - By you letting us be there for you, we learn things about ourselves as well :) So thank you too!

Bless you too Salsa.

I agree - we all learn from each other, no one is here on this earth alone.

ABC's of relationships:

Accountability - truly the alpha or beginning of conscious living. It is the willingness to accept that what we are experiencing on all levels is what we want. If it is not what we think we want, then we can make another choice. Choice effects change and intention begets manifestation. Beliefs - determine how we experience ourselves, others and the world around us. Many beliefs have been formulated based on misunderstandings, ignorance, and fear. It is no wonder that our perceptions are askew and that what we get is not what we think we want. To empower ourselves, we can make new choices, creating new beliefs based on Truth. Commitment - the single most important principle in partnering and in returning to oneness. When we commit to and choose the Truth, and do this no matter what, our commitment makes a difference to us, our partner and everyone else. We will be called to commit innumerable times during our relationship and our life. As we renew our commitment in each moment, we will experience happiness. Dependence - a state of relationship we are in when we are experiencing our needs, our heartbreaks, and our attendant guilt. To gracefully move forward we learn to understand our true need and accept ourselves and those whom we feel have broken our heart. Through forgiveness we reclaim innocence. Expectations - hold us and others to predetermined scripts based on misguided beliefs. They trip us up at every turn, setting us up for disappointment. By aligning ourselves with the Truth, living in the moment, and letting go of limiting and controlling scenarios, we free one another to be who we truly are. Forgiveness - the key to happiness and remembering who we each are; innocent children of God. A Course In Miracles teaches us that this is our only function while here on earth. Guilt - a monumental deception for in Truth we are all innocent. We are not a mistake, only mistaken. When we forgive ourselves the mistakes we have made, we can make a new choice. Guilt is an act of revenge and a conspiracy to keep us from taking our next step in giving our gifts and fulfilling our purpose. Heartbreak - when the pain of unmet needs becomes unbearable, causing us to shut down feeling. To move toward our vision with an open heart we must reclaim our feeling and heal our heartbreaks. Independence - a state of relationship we enter after closing our heart and dissociating from our feelings. In response to unmet expectations we assume control over our own life and everyone else's as well. The way through to interdependence is by letting go, trusting, surrendering and committing. Interdependence - a state of relationship where we share leadership, we are drawn forward by our vision, and we move into mastery through partnering with self, others and God. Joining - the path to oneness. Judgement leads to separation. When we see another's interests as our own, we no longer allow judgement to stand in the way of our joining. Knowing - the state which dispels our fear allowing us to take the next step with grace. Leadership - the ability to hear the cries for help, to see each individual as friend and to respond through giving our gifts. Leadership inspires others to be their true self. Mastery - achieved when the ego is dissolved, we become nobody special, and our life is guided by Spirit. Neediness - the hallmark of dependence. When we can identify our true need and meet it through self love and the giving of our gifts we raise ourselves to a place where we can join. Oneness - the state whence we came and to which we are returning on our healing journey. As we reunite the fragmented parts of our mind and see that the interests of everyone else are no different from our own, we become truly one. Partnership - the commitment to finding our way through, giving up our power struggles and surrendering control so that our true purpose may be expressed in our joining. This is an ongoing process as we come to partner with Spirit. Qualities - define each stage of our growth and allow us to identify where we are and what will take us to the next step. Receiving - the identifying quality of Interdependence. When we join with spirit we receive its abundance through the act of giving, learning and demonstrating that giving and receiving are one. Through giving we know what we have, and that we have received. Surrender - the quality which heals our independence and allows us to be happy rather than right. Through surrender we heal separation and experience the joy of joining. Trust - what allows surrender. When we trust in Spirit and the spirit in each one of us, nothing stands in the way of our joining. Union - a blessed state where spirits are joined, our interests are one. Vision - that which inspires our action. Through true perception we are motivated to fulfill our purpose and to live our destiny. Willingness - the essential ingredient called for on our healing journey. Only a little willingness is required to invite the presence and participation of Spirit in our lives. X - the crossroad or ever present choice point. Happiness is ours when we choose the Truth and step toward the light. Yes - say yes to life. Affirming the truth of who we are empowers us to live fully and to make this world a better place for the entire human race. Z - the lightening bolt that awakens us and illuminates the darkness allowing us to see our next step.

I see it appears that way but on closer look, I don't believe that time heals anything, as strange as that sounds. Time is well, time. And you only need to see someone who is hurting as if it happened yesterday to know its possible to end up like that!

I believe certain actvities taking place over time do the healing. The fine posts on this thread mention many of those activities so the smart thing to do is to cultivate the ingredients of healing. Some of the activities are also second nature to humans (as long as that isn't messed with somehow) so they happen seemingly automatically.

Our experiences, especially the ones that hurt us, are not supposed to be something we forget. They're supposed to be something we learn from and remember with both forgiveness and lessening pain. They are the lessons that allow us to be better prepared next time. It is how we build our own personal "roadmap" to life!

Val,

That is so true, time alone can not heal, but it is what we do with that time that determines how well or if we heal at all ? (she states as a question:confused: Would that be right?

That is so true... what you do with yourself is what will heal you... Valinor, sounds like you have learned a lot in your life. Glad that you are sharing your expertise with us.

I believe everyone on this site is meeting each other for a reason. I knew the day I posted my first topic "on losing friendship" that everyone here would give me something to help me "become a better person" and "maybe gain my friendship again". Our paths and destiny are mean't to cross...

Have a wonderful day everyone!