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-   -   Help with a relationship. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=614190)

  • Nov 22, 2011, 04:40 PM
    Madman123
    Help with a relationship.
    So my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me a week and half ago. She was 15 now 18. She said she was not sure about it. She feared the next step was marriage she was not sure if we were in love or just comfortable and dependent on each other. She needed to be selfish for once and she could not remember what it was like to be without me.

    I was her first boyfriend, we never fought, we were best friends for 3 years before we dated. So 2 days after we broke up, we spent 90% of time together watching films drinking together going on walks etc. I still had strong feelings for her so I said yesterday why don't we take a month break. She was fine but upset

    I was not going to Thanksgiving. I feel like I'm letting her down as a friend. I have not eaten, lost lots of weight and can't bear to be away from her. I'm not sure if she was just letting me down easy or am I living on false hope of getting back together
  • Nov 22, 2011, 05:30 PM
    mmresd
    She wants to experience the world, without you, and see what else is out there. Thank her for the experience, accept her decision to wanting to see the world from a single perspective, move on, and start learning how to be single again, after three years sometimes we forget how awesome it is to have some alone time.
  • Nov 23, 2011, 12:39 AM
    BrendaNalley
    She wants to experience things with out you, and MOST the time when it comes to this point it's really over, and sometimes they realize you are the one they love and they come back. You should start experiencing new things as well, it will be hard but you should get out in the world as well! Don't sit at home and wait for her to change her mind, it will give you a chance to think about things
  • Nov 23, 2011, 02:32 AM
    Madman123
    Yeah but at the same time we were always best of mates and we want it to stay that way
  • Nov 23, 2011, 04:15 AM
    mmsantos523
    Take it slow... you never want to rush back into a relationship when its rocky. It might be hard to accept it, but she's still young & she wants to experience life... & if it means not being with her, then you have to respect her decision. As far as being BFF's again... you might want to give it a little break... she might not be ready to be best friends yet... give her some space... but don't sit in a corner & cry about it... You have no enjoy your life... nobody knows when their judgement day will come!
  • Nov 23, 2011, 09:53 AM
    Madman123
    Yeah she suggested we stay bffs but I started the break and still not sure if I should go to thanksgiving

    She insisted that we stay best friends but I couldn't cope with it and said lets take a break but still not sure I should go to thanksgiving
  • Nov 23, 2011, 02:51 PM
    talaniman
    I think its best that you took a break from each other for now, because you were broken up, yet still going through the same routine with each other. Sorry guy, but you were both in the friend zone, and weaning off each other.

    It was really dragging out the inevitable, and when she found other interests, you would have been hurt more.

    Break ups suck any way, and so do clean breaks, but at least now you both know you are free to do as you please without each other.

    Maybe its best to make separate plans for this holiday.
  • Nov 23, 2011, 06:43 PM
    mmsantos523
    If you can't cope with being BFF's again.. then don't go to Thanksgiving with her... She'll understand. Take your time.

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