A friend of mine and I hooked up when I was passing through his city. In our 4-5 years of friendship, there was never even a hint of anything (or I just played it off). From our conversations, it seems that he is very attracted to me (physically), but has commented about us butting heads in the past (very true). In any case, he asked via text when I was visiting next (to which I don't have plans to), so instead, I asked him to come down for my work Xmas party (2 hour flight $600). He just confirmed that he can do a shift swap (as he is a pilot), and will book flights tomorrow night. He spelled out in a text that he doesn't want to hurt me or lead me on, that he's starting a new life (moving to Hong Kong), and still wants to be single for a couple of years. In this case, why make the effort and spend the money to come and see me?