My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We recently bought house together so things are getting really serious. I go to my best friends house a lot and her brother and I have always had this little flirtation with us. We kissed two years ago on new years eve (before my boyfriend and I were together) but nothing ever happened after that, until recently. We went out one night and ending up making out. A couple weeks later we made out again, after drinking, but he told me that he didn't want to sleep with my because I have a boyfriend. Then last night I stayed the night at my friends house and he slept on the couch with me, kissed me good night, and we cuddled all night long. Today we spent all day together, with his sister and her boyfriend, and it just felt right. It was almost like we were the couple. I really need to know how to handle this. I have these feelings for someone other then my boyfriend but I can't tell my boyfriend. He has a very bad temper, never towards me, but I know he would go absolutely balistic if he found any of this out. And if I told him it would be completely out of the blue because I have been putting up a front of how happy I am. I need to know if I should stay with my boyfriend and try to ignore my feelings for this other man, or if I should give in to my feelings and ruin something that is just getting started. HELP!

Stop going out with him, work on the relationship with your boyfriend, since it is obvious when you go out with him ( and why are you even doing that) and add drinking you let that be an excuse.

So don't go to where this man is, and start working on the relationship with your boyfriend.

I wasn't using it as an excuse I was just saying that it is one thing to make that kind of mistake when you are under the influence than when you are completely sober and still have these feelings.

I am not trying to make excuses I am trying to sort out my feelings.

You have a choice break off all contact with this guy (which you won't)

The second you said it felt right that means it feels new and fun and you want that new relationship feeling again

You have a choice either have a life a real life with your boyfriend that means fights and pizza night the works

Or leave him and just go back to the dating seen

That is the real question what do you want

If you chose one thing or the other you have to break off all ties with that person

Any person experiences temptation, and many people cross that line, but, in my opinion, most live to regret it.

This could have happened if you were married with three kids and a mortgage, or just as you were dating one man after being single for a few years. It can happen at any time, that you develop feelings for another man, while being in an exclusive relationship.

Thinking about it, realizing it, and tempting fate, as you have done, starts to put this into a category that is dangerous. There is no way of knowing that the attraction is or isn't going to go anywhere. And there is no way to establish that, until you are in a position to do so.

To do anything else, is to cheat at this point.

Men are not interchangeable; to replace one, with another one becaue you are attracted to him, doesn't mean there is anything of substance. Plus it doesn't speak much of your character that you would even entertain this idea in the first place, let alone act on it.

It is unfair, and the worst breech possible to cheat on your partner. The only thing you can do, is be honest. Deal with your current boyfriend, and do some soul searching. Without having another man to run to in the shadows.

If you are having doubts about your current boyfriend, focus on that. Keep it honest, and true. Seek couples counselling, or counselling on your own, if you need help in figuring out what to do, and why. And while you make an effort in doing this, leave the other man out of the picture completely. No texts, no phone calls, no cuddling on the couch, no drunken kisses, etc. That has to stop, it is not innocent.

As hard as it is, think that what has happened may be because you are unhappy in your current relationship. But, two relationships cannot exist at the same time, and you do owe it to your boyfriend to make an appropriate decision, and do the right thing- move on.

If that is where you eventually end up- give yourself time to get on your own two feet. Learn to rely only on yourself, and your own judgment, and try not to jump from the fire into the frying pan. Give yourself time to heal from one relationship, before you enter into any other relationship.

That way the next time around, you will be in a position to judge not only your feelings, but you will want to protect yourself at the same time, and not lose everything on a gamble.

Good luck to you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by confusedwoman2

I wasn't using it as an excuse I was just saying that it is one thing to make that kind of mistake when you are under the influence than when you are completely sober and still have these feelings.

I am not trying to make excuses I am trying to sort out my feelings.

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FEELINGS?? Forget those feelings, sort out your bad behavior is what you need to do. He may be a boob, but that's your choice, but what you are doing with the new guy is cheating. Or are you feathering a new nest to fly to?

That's cheating TOO!

Feathering a new nest could not have put that better myself!

It doesn't sound serious at all. For you anyway. Since you are cheating.

Not sure if I can answer your question.

What is it you want exactly? To choose?

All I know is that I wouldn't want my girl disrespecting me that way.

Be honest to yourself.

I am going through the same thing. I have feelings for another guys and me and my boyfriend had been together for almost a year. I really love my boyfriend and I noticed every time I see the other guys or start talking to him, I gert mixed emotions so my advice to you is stay away from the other guy. It helps a lot me and my boyfriend became a closer couple. I see the other guy at school and it starts breaking us apart again.

I am going through a similar situation, I love my boyfriend we are together past 3 years 10 months. He has just started with his career and been really busy with work. Things are bit sore between us. There have been fight's for not giving sufficient time and being close to other girl's, I became a little possesive and depressed. So there's another Sexy Guy @ work, who gives me lot of attention and I like it. I am attracted to him, we go out for movie's, clubbing. I feel relaxed not depressed. But I know it for a fact I can't stay with the new guy and my life is with my boyfriend and work on my relation with my boyfriend because because its all temporary with the new guy and its not right.