I've been with his guy for 4 months and I've been living with him. And we've known each other for 3 years. We have always liked each other and then I finally move to where to lives, and we start dating and instantly fell in love.

Things were perfect at the beginning but then he got mad whenever a guy would try and talk to me. I wasn't really allowed to hang out with my friends and he got mad when I went to my parents house, I'm thinking he didn't actually think I went there. We're broken up 3 times, and he gives me the option of coming home and fixing things, or never talking to each other again.

In a way I think he's trying to guilt trip me into coming back but I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't live without him. :( I don't want to throw away what could maybe be forever.
Please help :(

"Forever" doesn't sound very promising at this point. Is he willing to go with you for couples counseling?

Forever is a long way off, and I don't even think you should worry about forever with this control freak. Heck if you have broken up 3 times in 4 months, who wants that kind of treatment forever??

I think you take the NEVER talking to each other EVER again option. At least then you can have a chance at doing better and not controlled like a pet, or getting dumped 9 times a year... FOREVER.

This doesn't sound like love to me, and he doesn't love you in a very healthy way, so as you see happiness is hard with him. Stay where you are. AWAY from his happiness killing control.

He tells me he would do anything and everything for me. But its different for him because when I when to be with him I had to leave my friends and family and we lived in the same town as his friends and family. I had to give up everything to be with him.

And Wondergirl, I don't know if he would go for couples counseling. I could maybe try but I don't think he would go for it. He just wants me back to talk and try and work things out.

If he won't go to counseling with you then he isn't willing "to do anything and everything" for you. Tread very carefully and don't ignore the red flags. Do you have any need to be fearful of him?

If you talk with him listen carefully. Do his "suggestions" of how to make things better center around what he wants and what is good for him? What input do you get in the relationship?

If you can't even go visit your own parents or spend time with your friends, it is time to get out now. He is either extremely insecure or doesn't trust you without cause, or both... neither of which makes for a good partner.

His version of love, is owning you. 'Loving' you, only if you live by his rules, and expectations. It is changing you and your life, and moulding it into what he needs.

Controlling men (and women to some degree), control your life, and in so doing, put what they see as threatening situations and/or people, out of the relationship.

First it's your friends, then your family, then your activities, then the makeup you wear, and the clothes you choose. How you talk, walk, behave in public. Nothing is off limits for a controlling partner, and you are seeing this already.

Bit by bit, you lose yourself. Along with your freedom, and liberty. And all of this loss is to keep a man happy. The trouble is, it is never enough. Even eliminating what you have, and trying even harder to please him, he will find something negative to punish you with. i.e. you make a nice dinner with candles and wine, and he thinks you are guilty of something.

You cannot win- ever- with a person who controls you. This is not love by any definition, it is abusive, controlling behaviour by an insecure man, who will stop at nothing to own you, heart and soul.

Don't fall any further into this trap. I don't normally encourage people to leave their partners without first trying all they can to improve their relationship, but I am telling you, get the he*l out- now. Now while you can still see what is happening to you, and now, before it gets worse- and it will.

Pack up what you can, get a plan in place (with your family) and give him no advance warning. Situations like this often result in domestic violence, or worse. He will not voluntarily let you go, and he is capable of far worse than he has already done.

Get out.

No I don't have anything to fear from him. I know him enough that he would never hit me, but at the same time I never thought this side of controlling would come from him.

I totally see where you guys are coming from and thank you. But lately he's been telling me that when I go back we will sit there and talk and compromise between what we have to say. He wants us BOTH to be happy.

And other thing he's always bringing up his ex girlfriend for some reason and he knows I don't like her at all but yet he's still throwing her into our conversations somehow...

He told me that girls talk bad about him all the time when they aren't dating anymore... I kind of think that's a sign that he has something wrong with him and that he needs to work on.

I don't know what to do I want to be with him but at the same time I don't really have anything out where he lives but him. And where I'm now I have a bunch of family and very little friends...

I want to give him another chance but I'm scared it will just be the same.

I'd ask him to compromise. For instance, you'll stay with him another six months as long as he goes regularly and faithfully with you for couples counseling during that time and works hard on your relationship.

Maybe pass on the living together while you work things out, if its possible. You have only been together for 4 months, barely enough time to know one another.

Knowing and liking each other for 3 years, or 3 centuries doesn't matter when it comes to living together, as you are finding out the hard way. If you cannot get along civilly and respectfully while you explore and merge each others ways, and worlds, that's not a good sign of being great partners.

The great experiment of trial, and error is over unless you both can at least commit to being nice to each other, and work together, or its just a big sleep over. Living as a couple, acting like a couple, stops when the conflict of reality show up, no matter from where, outside you both, within you both, or between you, there has to be a plan on how you deal with it, and resolve it.

Breaking up 3 times in 4 months is a big RED FLAG, that so far, you have not been successful, and you need a better plan.

If you cannot talk it over and get one, what's the point in moving back yet again?

Do you think I should just leave him.

I love him and I had the chance to go back today. Take the bus out there and be with him but I haven't.
I'm 19 and he's 24, he said he would change for us to be happy together, but can I really believe that he will change?

He said he can't go another day without me and he missing me more then anything I don't know what to do at this point

I had a conversation with my mom and she was not happy that I was telling her I want to go back. She thinks I shouldn't because everything I have told her she said that he sounds exactly like my dad when they were dating. He used to hit her and abuse her, he was really controlling, and now they are divorced.

Listen to your MOM, and avoid what could be a trap.