I am still confused and I really need some advice? I had 2 children and my husband is not the biological father. Before I had an affair, when my husband had found out from our doctor that he couldn't give me a child because of his zero count sperm test... he created some stupid idea that really hurts my feeling and that ended me up for being so mislead by my decision. When he found out that he has a problem.. he put me online and created my profile in hot mail for BabyMaker. In fact there were several men who responded my profile. The other thing that he even mentioned to me is "Ifever I would have a kids to someone else, never tell him he's a father" and also told me that I can sleep with any other race except black people. He even told me that there is no use of sleeping together that he cannot give me a child. Although I was very disappointed with my husband and because I really care and loved him.. I made a wrong decision to have a descret relationship just to give him a child. Before I started to have a descret relationship, my husband had already started to be addicted of pain medication and he has already taking at least 10 pills a day. I even remembered when I almost had a nervous breakdown when he had a zeisure and didn't know what to do.. I thought he was having a heart attack since I've never been experience of someone close to me who had zeisure. When I've finally discovered that my husband was already addict of pain medication and it was getting worst that was when my daughter was already 18 months old. I've found out that he had already wrecked our credit cards and reached the total credit of $60,000.00 by ordering pain drugs on line. Prior to that he lost his job that he has worked 9years for the company. He did not go see a Rehab Doctor after 6 years that he was hooked up in pain drugs. I've even convinced him to go to a Rehab but always refused it and ashamed for what he has been doing. He always telling me that if he ever be relocated to his job then that will be the time he will go to the Rehab. That is another reason I supported him to move out. When he moved out to another job, the job didn't worked out for him and that he got fired and he suffered more of severe depression while he was addicted in pain drugs. He made a wrong decision to sell his retirement and paid the mortgage that we been behind for 6mons. After that he finally leave me the responsibility of taking care of that house and fortunately I've decided to hired a rental manager and have it rented for about 3 years. However if the house is unoccupied I was the one who comes up for the cash to pay the mortgage. My husband being unemployed for 4 years and suffering of mental depression, I can say that I was in a stressful situation. That years I was the only one taking care of our daughter, paying his truck note, buying his medication, and paying house hold chores. Living with a mental disorder man is very difficult... I have friends who's telling me to move out and take care of myself and my daughter. But I couldn't live him lying on bed and just abandone him like that. I do loved him and cared for him. Although we didn't sleep together for 10 years, but he was very special in my heart. I've done everything I could to help him out and keeping the house and vehicle that we have and pay house hold chores. During that time he didn't go to work I was promised by someone and offered me some financial help but didn't really happen. I realized that it is not going to work out, but a friend of mine convinced me not to get out that affair, and it was too late and when I did I found out that I was pregnant with my 2nd child. I was 44 years old and didn't think that I will be able to get pregnant because of my irregular period. But now I am lost, few months ago my husband keeps telling me that he still loves me but every now and then he will harrass me and threw me of any insult words and humiliate me in front of my friends and daughter. Although I still love him but he started calling me bad names and blame me of everything is my fault. For months I started ignoring his harassment and insult and keep taking care of him and my kids while I still working outside for partime. It has been 1year since he got back to work and trying to help together to pay bills and most of the time we are behind of paying bills especially our mortgage. Two months ago he went back searching for a girl friend on line that I didn't know... within 2weeks he fell in love with a girl on line and I've found the receipt that he had already sent #300 bucks to that overseas girl. After 3 weeks he sent another $300.bucks. He said he had finally found a girl who trully loves her and care about him. So he is dumping me and he is finally decided to file a divorce for me that way he can marry that 20 year old overseas girl. As he said to me that he is going to fight a full costudy for my 8 year old daughter and that is he will surely win for that. What I really need to find out is if there's any possibility that he will win for the full custody for my daughter knowing that he has some drug addiction, mental disorder and depression. It was proven that he has problem because he has all the record from the Hospital and besides 8months ago he nearly killed himself of drinking too much alcohol and I found out him lying and unconscious on bed and called 911. Several times he harassed my daughter: I caught him set my daughter on his lap while chatting with his girlfriend on a Yahoo Cam and introducing him... telling him this is going to be your step mother pretty soon. He even told my daughter he did the women get pregnant.. he told me it was normal for the 8year old daughter exactly how did the woman got pregnant. It was grossed that he actually said how the woman and man performed sex. Many times he will make a joke to our 8 year old daughter by telling her that He is not his daughter. Another thing that he has been doing from the past is watching a child and adult pornography on line. There is no way I want my daughter to be around of this man... please help me If I have a big chance to win this battle. Right now I don't know if I still love him... he hurts me and wrecked my heart so badly. He is so very negative and very manipulative. Many times he used to say that he doesn't think that there's god... and he will also mention to me that I have married a ****ed up man.. if I realized that.
I hope I can get some advice from you guys although I am willing to consult this to a Lawyer pretty soon. Thanks in advance.