My daughter is about to be one. The father has had no contact with either of us since I was five months pregnant. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and has kept this girlfriend. I have thought about taking him for support but in the very beginning of this he said if I get support he will fight me for custody. I haven't said that he can't see her, he said he wants nothing to do with either of us. I just don't want the only reason for him to want to see her to be to be because I want support, and I don't believe that the other woman in his life should be around my child at this time under the circumstance.

He can fight you for custody if he wants to even if there is no order of support. You can not legally stop him from visiting if he is not paying. In fact if he wants to visit, and you refuse, he can use that against you in court to get a better custody arrangements.

The ( I will fight you for custody) is the normal threat so many men use to try and scare the women from filing for child support.

At most unless you are unfit, he can get joint custody, but he could get that, even if you don't file for support.
But most likely he would get a couple weekends a month for visit ( if he even showed up)

File for support, it is your child's right,

Also unless the girlfriend is a threat then you can't keep the child away from her when the child is with your ex. That is his decision to make.

He doesn't want anything to do with her period he only says he would if I file for support. I would never keep him from her I just don't like that that would be his reason to see her. If he has to help pay for things for her. Say she was ten years old and he still had no contact does anything change then?

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Originally Posted by mms32

... Say she was ten years old and he still had no contact does anything change then?

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Change? Like what? More no contact?

Well I am expecting he will not come around. But what if in five or ten years I decide to get support and he has not made any effort to see her. I have been told that at a certain age they have had adequate time to form a relationship with the child and at that point even if I don't get support he wouldn't be able to see her. I am wanting to move to another state, just looking into possibilities.

Sorry no, if he waits 12 years, he can still file for visits, he can claim a "come to Jesus" moment as we call it in the south, and that his life has changed and he wants to be a father.

Normally they will require the first visits to be done though a counseling center, with each getting individual counseling first. Then group together, then normally supervised visits, and latter regular visits.

No time does not take away his rights as a father.

On the other hand, whether mms32 "gets support", has nothing to do with whether he will "be able to see her". The two, visitation and child support, are mutually independent.

Again, he can decide he wants visits and file anytime. But what you have here is basic threats, if he wanted or was going to see his child, he would be doing it. If he wanted any level of custody he would have filed for it.

He is threatening you because he is a dead beat and does not want to pay. You filing will not make him 'want to see her" Most likely if you start to file, he will threaten to take her away, or kid nap the child. ( that is normally what they do, I would write the script he is telling you from the 1000's of people who come here with the same story.

Well I can't say I like those answers. But I guess I will handle situations as they happen. Best case, I finish school, have a better job, meet someone nice and never worry about getting help from someone who doesn't want to be in her life anyway. Thanks though you guys!

Really wrong choice , it is not YOUR money, it is the child's money that could be saved for college, used to support child.
Your choice is to perhaps make it easier for you a bit. And for sure, allows a dead beat dad, scare you into doing things his way.

If he really wanted to see the child he would, paying support will not make him see the child, again, this is so common, just read the 100's and 100s of posts same words almost from the men