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-   -   10 yr. old dating a 13yr. Old boy (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=611947)

  • Nov 13, 2011, 04:40 PM
    tf489
    10 yr. old dating a 13yr. Old boy
    OK my 10 yr. old girl is dating this nice 13 yr. old boy they hang out hold hands and just kiss a little should I keep them away from each other
  • Nov 13, 2011, 05:04 PM
    suprazboy
    Maybe it is time to have the talk with her. He is older than her and will mature about the same time as her. I think tying to pull her away from him may have a negative response and she may defy you. So the talk would be the best plan I think.
  • Nov 13, 2011, 06:21 PM
    tf489
    Anyone ealse going to comment
  • Nov 13, 2011, 06:25 PM
    odinn7
    I can't answer for you but I can say that I wouldn't be allowing my 10 year old daughter to "just kiss a little" with a 13 year old boy. I have an 11 year old and I believe that is too young to be "dating" let alone any kind of kissing... especially with a 13 year old.
  • Nov 13, 2011, 06:28 PM
    ScottGem
    Children are trying to grow up too quickly. I would not let a 10 yr old date ANYONE. That is way too young.

    I assume you are the parent, as a parent you have to set boundaries.
  • Nov 13, 2011, 06:28 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    It is totally wrong and I hope and assume you are really one of the kids, since I don't know of any responsible parent that lets a 10 year old child "kiss" a little. Of course that is why 12 year olds are having babies.
  • Nov 13, 2011, 07:39 PM
    tf489
    I am the parent but they really like each other and I don't want her to hate me
  • Nov 13, 2011, 07:43 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You are to be her parent, not her friend. If you are not setting rules, boundries you are not doing your job. If she is not mad at you, "even hate you at times" you are not doing your job with what latter will be a 10 year old.

    You are leading this down the road to be a grandmother in a few years by accepting early sexual emotions to be allowed in a 10 year old.

    I will be honest, if you were my neighbor, I would report this type of activity to CPS as neglect of the child.
  • Nov 13, 2011, 07:43 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tf489 View Post
    i am the parent but they really like each other and i dont want her to hate me

    Again you are the parent. You NEED to set boundaries. Sometimes your kids will hate you. It goes with the territory.

    I'm sure they do like it each other, but it's not appropriate.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 06:48 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tf489 View Post
    i am the parent but they really like each other and i dont want her to hate me

    The job of a parent is NOT being your child's best friend, but rather being a parent. Sometimes our children "hate" us for our decisions, but we are responsible for teaching our children to make good decisions and deal with the consequences when they make bad decisions.

    How old were you when you had your daughter? Were you a young teen?

    Young girls of the tender age of 10 should never be kissing anyone but their parents or siblings.

    It's time to step up and set boundaries. Be a parent not a best friend.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 07:17 AM
    NeedKarma
    I have an 11 year old daughter and no way would I allow her to date and engage in kissing at this stage. She has plenty of friends who are boys but they aren't any different than her girl friends: kids being kids.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 07:31 AM
    tf489
    OK I stopped them from seeing each other but now I think she is sneekingaround seeng him
  • Nov 14, 2011, 07:35 AM
    J_9
    So, as a parent, what are you going to do about that?
  • Nov 14, 2011, 07:36 AM
    ScottGem
    There is a difference between dating and hanging. They can hang together in groups, but not singly date. And if you believe she's sneaking around, then ground her.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 07:56 AM
    J_9
    I assume she goes to school then has homework. Does she not do her homework right after school? Is she not in any extracurricular activities?

    How does she get the unsupervised time to "sneak" out to see him?

    My 10 year old is supervised 100% of the time and would never be able to "sneak" out. He has to have permission to go somewhere without me. And I DO check up!
  • Nov 14, 2011, 08:05 AM
    tf489
    I let her go to the city park its 2 or 3 streets over and she has a cell phone for me to check up on her and yes she does do homework after school
  • Nov 14, 2011, 08:06 AM
    NeedKarma
    Well there are the actual school days. And some kids like mine have after after-school care until we finish work. So I can see some opportunity there for the child.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 08:09 AM
    J_9
    So, no more city park. If she wants to socialize, she can do it at home under your supervision.
  • Nov 14, 2011, 08:10 AM
    tf489
    OK well thanks everyone
  • Nov 14, 2011, 08:16 AM
    J_9
    And you disagreed with me why? I'm a responsible parent, that is how I have dealt with all 4 of my children and they have all grown up to be wonderful adults (aside from my 10 year old) who all graduated high school or did not have any children out of wedlock.

    It might be good for you to take some parenting classes

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