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-   -   Boyfriend watches porn instead of sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=611656)

  • Nov 5, 2011, 04:07 PM
    slmayer
    Boyfriend watches porn instead of sex
    I think that all guys think this is how all guys act but have you ever been in our position? How about if your girlfriend blew you off for porn and enjoyed it more than you? Cause that's what it comes to obviously there's a problem with a guy that has to watch porn EVERY SINGLE DAY! When they have a girlfriend willing to have sex with them whenever they want. I have the same problem and I'm stuck. I don't know what to think I love him but when I try to talk about it or I find it in his phone he tries to deny it and gets weird about it, and that just makes me even more scared. Most sites people just say if he won't stop for you and you give him stuff like porn that he could look at and he still watches it then leave him but its not worth ending love over porn so what do you do in this case. I view sex and your body as a sacred thing. I'm so stuck someone help meeeeeeeeee!
  • Nov 13, 2011, 07:00 PM
    Nilo39
    Your going to have to decide if you want to share your boyfriends love with the mistress of porn. Your opinion and feelings are absolutely valid. I know what porn does to men from experiencing it myself, it destroyed my ability to keep a connected state with my wife. To her it was like I had a mistress and no amount of rationalizing and saying all guys do it could change that. Her feelings were valid and so are yours, in order to save my marriage, and greatly improve it I had to give it up. It wasn't easy because porn was very addicting for me, it quickly became an easy substitute, a fantasy, for escaping the problems in my relationship and even life. It was impossible for me to have healthy great relationships with my wife and kids with this in my life. Your going to have decide whether to accept your boyfriend's mistress aka porn or stand up for your feelings and refuse to stay in a relationship in which your desired level of intimacy and connectedness and love cannot be met. Yes you love him now, but its only a matter of time before your love is destroyed if the mistress of porn is placed above you. Keep the long term picture in mind its likely your relationship will never be of the quality of intimacy and lasting as you hope if you put up with it. That being said, if the guy is worth keeping around and really loves you he will agree to give up porn. However if he's addicted to it, it won't be easy and there will be relapses which will try your patience and your love but in the long run it will be so worth it to have a much better more intimate relationship. So if you decide to not accept it you'll need to talk to him and let him know where you stand and give him a little time to decide and then start working it.


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