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-   -   Losing a long time friend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=61143)

  • Feb 8, 2007, 02:33 AM
    Dani171986
    Losing a long time friend
    Hi last September I lost contact with my best friend of 4+ years over something so stupid.

    It would take down forever to write what happened but I'll try and write something brief:
    Basically it started because me and another friend of ours was invited out by some old school m8s last minute. She wasn't invited we went out anyway. The next day we both get texts off her saying thanks for inviting me out.
    1) it was not our place to invite her out
    2)i know she wouldn't of liked the people and where we went
    How did she know anyway, not that I was going to hide it, but did she have spies follow us or something.
    I didn't give a very nice response as it got my back up the way she was acting just because I went out without her. I don't have a problem with my m8s having separate friends, I don't see what the big deal is. I didn't see why I had to make an excuse and aplogise like I usually did. If someone I know doesn't want to invite her out I can't do anything about it. I always felt as if I was stuck on what I could do. That's what I said to her; what's the big deal, do I have to invite you out everywhere I go. She replied with what's your problem you are a . So I said think what you like and we didn't talk for 2 months. Because my other friend (the one I went out with that night) boyfriend is friends with hers we are still kind of linked. We got invited out so we went. Kayleigh (the ex friend) wasn't there but her boyfriend was. The next day Carly gets a abusive text saying how can she go out in front of her boyfriend and with me. What is she not allowed to go out in front of her boyfriend or invite me along. She carly gave as good as she got. One comment she said was can't I take a without you knowing about it. It was silly; because of that I just didn't want to know her how she was just over-reacting about things. Its been 5 months now. Its sad that a friendship been lost of something so silly, but what's done is done. Has anyone else experienced anything like this with their mates and what was you outcomes?
  • Feb 8, 2007, 02:43 AM
    phoenix1664
    Something similar happened to me I lost a friend because of something daft but I mean friendship is special but there is always another friend they come and go and if she acts like that because of suck a silly thing then let her be I have not been invited to partys before because I didn't know the hoast but I didn't act out don't worrie about it just be happy OK hope it works out for you.
  • Feb 8, 2007, 04:21 AM
    AKaeTrue
    It seems like this is really bothering you.
    If I were still a teen, the advice I'm about to give you would have been different, because it's the opposite of what I did (or didn't do).
    I too lost a friend over something stupid. I was a teenager and to proud (or embarrassed) to make the situation right again. I have regretted not doing so my entire adult life.
    If this is bothering you now, it will continue to weigh on your shoulders and may never completely go away.
    Even if your friendship is not rekindled, It would be very chivalrous of you make contact with your ex friend just to sort things through, express your feelings and apologize for everything on your part of the mess.
    I wish I could offer more of a solution for you or other options, but that's what I truly wish I would have done many years ago.
    And I'll let you in on another little thing... Because I've regretted the way we left things off so badly, I've even tried tracking her down as an adult just to apologize, but without any luck... So please don't end up like me. If this is really bothering you, be the bigger person and make the first move. Even if it doesn't restore your friendship, it will make you feel better...
    Kae
  • Feb 8, 2007, 06:56 AM
    talaniman
    You will lose friends as you go through life, and miss them but new ones will come. I've lost a few as we either grew in different directions or ideas change or life events we have to go through parts us and even death. We mourn the losses but find ourselves pretty helpless as we try our best to move on. Maybe you and your friend will part ways over this or cool off enough in the future to be back in each others lives. If a heart felt apology doesn't work, then chalk it up as unfortunate and put it on a back burner and move on with your life.

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