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-   -   Am 19 years and love a boy of 21 years. We've been together for more than 3 years (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=610388)

  • Nov 7, 2011, 11:40 PM
    pallavi2309
    Am 19 years and love a boy of 21 years. We've been together for more than 3 years
    We really love each other and want to get married but the only problem is that he's a Muslim and I am a Hindu. His elder brother married a Marathi girl and everyone accepted their relationship at his place. My sister married a Hindu boy and everyone at home is very happy. They want me to do the same despite they know that I love my boyfriend. Marrying a Muslim boy would mean a stain on the honor of my family as my uncle and granddad are priests. Please tell me what to do. I am still going out with that guy, and don't want to leave either my parents or him.
  • Nov 8, 2011, 02:40 PM
    talaniman
    Are either of you established in your education, or employment? That may be a consideration as well as religion, and culture. As long as you both are dependent on family for your upkeep, then enjoy dating and see what happens later after you have proved to be independent, and capable, and WILLING to take responsibility for your own futures.

    Is there another reason to think you have to choose one or the other at this time?
  • Nov 8, 2011, 11:34 PM
    pallavi2309
    Thanks for your answer but we are both independent and yes we both are willing to take each other's responsibility.we have been together for sop many time and we can adapt ourselves to each other's behaviour
  • Nov 9, 2011, 07:35 AM
    talaniman
    Plan together and approach the problems together, and see what you can formulate.

    You cannot please everyone, nor will everything you want come easy. Together you decide what's important, and that's the only way you can move forward. This is an obstacle, a challenge to be overcome. You both have to make a decision as to what more important to you, getting married or pleasing the honor of your parents.

    Choose this carefully because the love of youth often distracts us from the very practical difficulties of bending culture, tradition, and religion. There is more conflicts coming later, than there are now. Of course that's the greatest concern of any intercaste/inter religious union, is how you live, and raise children.

    Be positive, as you have already seen that your parents have already conceded before, but the may be a lot more stubborn to you.

    Consult your siblings who have already been through this for some insights that may help.

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