I know when I was a kid and first walked into a church, I felt it. For the first time in my young life I was suddenly aware that I had a soul and it needed whatever was here. It was like electricity. It consumed me. Then life happened, the feeling died down and I started wondering why, what's wrong with me. 22 years later I am still trying to figure this out. I look at people and God is absolutely as real and solid to them as something tangible like the chair I am sitting in, but to me, God is invisible, complicated, distant, intangible - just a character in a big book. I have the head knowledge, been in church, said the prayer a million times, but I still feel like I am missing something. Like I am a toy on Christmas morning, I thought I followed the directions so why don't I look like the photo on the box? I feel like I'm just talking to myself when I pray. I desperately want God, I love being a part of church, I love the overall concept but why isn't this real to me? I am scared to admit, but I'm afraid that someday I will stand before God and He'll say He doesn't know me.

I love church, I used to love Sunday school, but I don't believe in god, it's nothing weird, just have a look at other religions, like buddhism in my mind makes a lot more sense, I personally am an atheist :) so don't worry and look at other religions ^_^

You're very much like me... and most of my college years and after were spend in your very spot. Now we all have our individual walk, and how I got on track is going to differ from what you might need. But what you are describing is something I struggled with BIG TIME. First of all, I know you have probably heard this before but it is true plain and simple... our salvation is not a feeling. It is reading the Word of God and believing God at His word. 2 Corinthians 5:7 - "For we live by faith, not by sight". You see, you're either going to believe the Word of God, or you're not. God never said we're going to have warm salvation fuzzies all of our life. No, in fact we're told in this life we're going to have trials, we're going to have temptations, but the point is whether we look to Him in those times or not. I think the problem most Christians have, including myself, is that we wait for God to move to meet Him instead of moving first. We're told in the great commission that "they that believe" will lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. 99% of us to not follow that... we wait for a sign from God to tell us we need to go pray for someone. Why wait for a sign when he already TOLD us to. That is just an example of course. If you're waiting for God to talk to you during prayer... you need to get to know the Word first... that is our revelation first and foremost... THEN God can begin to commune with us. If you need continued discussion I am here. Hang in there brother, there is always hope and a light.

Well I go to a Christian school and we go on retreats and listen to very powerful speakers, but as powerful as the speakers can be, it all depends on what you make of them. Try to relate to what their saying, and know that its okay to have questions and I've learned holding them back because I'm afraid they will cause a problem and create a doubt, it restricts you from having depth in your relationship. This is because there is always that question that you ignored so you still have that doubt because you never got that question answered. I suggest you go on a retreat or go somewhere or someone where you can enjoy hearing about God. Ive learned I enjoy it a lot more when its not something like church, and somewhere more where they can elaborate and make connections and not just read of bible verses.
As much as you may feel God isn't present I assure you he is you just have to be looking for him. There was speaker who once said that you can ignore God all you want and he will never leave your side, he will be right behind you, and right as you decide to turn back to him, he will be waiting for you and will act as if you had never done anything wrong in your life. He will accept you whenever and wherever you decide to change your life around and turn to him and ultimately it is your decision. LOOK FOR HIM. You can do this by writing done your prayers and worries so it will be easier to see when God answers them.
You may seem like this is a lot of work, but if you want to have God in your life, put him there. I HOPE I HELPED!
You

Don't worry about God and where He is. Look into the faces of people around you. Listen to them. Smile at them. Be patient with them. Open doors for them. Help them carry their physical and emotional burdens. Shovel snow off their front walks. Give them a lift to the store. Write letters to them. Send them birthday cards. Do random acts of kindness -- anonymously. Give a piece of yourself, your time, to "the least of these."

You don't find God. He finds you. He even has your name written in the palm of His hand.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You don't find God. He finds you.

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Nice.

I relate it to my current study of the Lords Prayer, Christ not only taught them to pray, but he also taught them how to live the prayer, we look at the words, "Your will be done" do we really mean it, no matter what his will is, or as long as his will follows the patch we want. Jesus followed God's will to the cross, would we ?

Are we living our faith, or are we going to church looking for him to find us.

Busymama - I'm curious what you think of the replies you have received here...

God is an experience. A personal feeling and sensation. This experience is based to your culture and attentions, tuned it with imagery that culturally motivates you. The divine is the same primal principle in man manifested in different cultural context of various nations.
Now many of the world famous religion will disagree but like the Smirti of Hindu says We might dream our gods instead of the other way around.

Explore various possibilities and philosophical and theological codes and find the divine that lies with in you and the proper imagery that will suit you. Some of us have found the divine in the darkness of humanity others in witchcraft and some create a personal blend of myths and theology that help them find the divine. You are at the steps of initiation you must journey to the abyss and find the Dark Gods with in your unconscious.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by busymama

I know when I was a kid and first walked into a church, I felt it. For the first time in my young life I was suddenly aware that I had a soul and it needed whatever was here. It was like electricity. It consumed me. Then life happened, the feeling died down and I started wondering why, what's wrong with me. 22 years later I am still trying to figure this out. I look at people and God is absolutely as real and solid to them as something tangible like the chair I am sitting in, but to me, God is invisible, complicated, distant, intangible - just a character in a big book. I have the head knowledge, been in church, said the prayer a million times, but I still feel like I am missing something. Like I am a toy on Christmas morning, I thought I followed the directions so why don't I look like the photo on the box?! I feel like I'm just talking to myself when I pray. I desperately want God, I love being a part of church, I love the overall concept but why isn't this real to me? I am scared to admit, but I'm afraid that someday I will stand before God and He'll say He doesn't know me.

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http://inspirationalspecialist.blogspot.com/2012/04/god-is-real.html

God is Real! Inspirational and Spiritual Poetry: The God of Is-Real

Why do people say they don't believe in God because they can't see him? Ridiculous! You have a brain or at least you believe you do. You don't see it(without special equipment). You have thoughts and ideas but you don't see them. Love exists but we don't see IT. We see the results of it. Just like God! Someone smiles at us and we believe it is a good thing. We can't see their thoughts but we take the smile for granted to be good. We don't see air but we breath it every day and would die with out it. So why is God any different?
We can feel his love and comfort through his word. We can know him through his word and a personal relationship with Him. We can see all He has created.
Some times we see and still get what we see wrong, i.e. its not what we think is going on or we only heard part of something.
There are many blind people who believe and couldn't see Christ if he was standing rite in front of them. They don't see an entire world but they believe it exists, they live in it and are a part of it so it must be real. The same way a believer is a part of Gods kingdom.