Ok so me and this girl having been seeing each other for a couple months now. Anytime we get down to business, I can barely even get hard or ejaculate. I have never done this sort of of thing before so I began to wonder if maybe I had some sort of problem or something. The first time it happened I thought maybe it was because I had masturbated too much, the second time I don't know what it could have been, but whatever it is I really need to get it solved now before we try again, or just for future encounters.

May we know how old are you?

John

Due to posting restrictions on the Adult Sexuality Board, please give your age. It will also help narrow down what the problem might be.

Thank you.

I'm 19 years old. If that helps

Thank you.

There can be many reasons for erectile problems. First thing to keep in mind, don't compare what happens in this relationship with past ones. Each time you find a new partner, you should approach the relationship as a learning experience.

One of the most common is expecting a problem to occur. This usually begins after a male has experienced a different problem like not having enough time between masturbating and intercourse. Sometimes, the male will unconsciously put more pressure on himself to prove that the last time was a one time thing and the pressure causes him to have problems. It becomes a cycle. It can be stopped.

The brain is a very important factor in arousal and if it is distracted and worried problems with the body happen. Next time relax. Take the pressure off. Enjoy being with each other but don't let thoughts of sex overwhelm you and cause 'what ifs'.

Other factors can include:

-- not being ready for sex with this person at this time. It doesn't mean you aren't attracted to her, but perhaps you are still in the wanting to get to know more about her phase. If you care a lot about her, there can be some fear of rushing into something and messing up.

-- the conditions may not have been 'right'. Too hot or cold, fear of being over heard, time constraints, distractions from noises outside or pets inside, and the list of possibilities go on.

-- you may be having some unconscious concerns about expectations in the relationship. The relationship itself may be too 'new'.

-- being tired and stressed don't help.

-- alcohol and/or medications can be an issue. If you are on any medications, check their side effects. You might need to talk to your doctor about tweaking your dosage(s).

The first thing to try is making certain that conditions are comfortable and there isn't a 'rush' to have sex. Take your time and let things happen as they will. If you don't feel like having sex, be honest. Do not try to force yourself to do something you aren't ready for. Remember that pressure to preform often has the opposite effect.

Good luck.