So. He is a single guy working in my country. This means we both come from different backgrounds, races, and what's more, different religions that prevent us from having anything serious. And he have a disability.

We got to know each other through work. And work was the only thing we had in common, until he started trying to get closer. He was talking, texting, chatting with me (but not in regular bases) and it was always him starting it, and he was stopping by my office every now and then after I had a promotion and stopped seeing him for work.

Almost all our conversations were general or about religion, something that he used once to tell me that this is the only way to be with my future husband! He also implied many times that I should move some where else (specifically the country he is moving to next!)although he knows I can't. The first time he visited me in my new office was on valentine day, he did not say anything but happy valentine and talked about general things as usual. This shouldn't be something significant, but I really find it difficult to think of it as a coincidence.

Before when we used to work together he used to get angry at things like not telling him that I'm going in vacation or not being available for him if I'm busy with another colleague or not stopping by for a chat apart from business! And again, it was always him getting personal about such things.

Gradually I started to open up to him, and we started to talk about more personal stuff, things like our dreams and future plans, sometimes our families, he used to ask some strange questions that I find personal, and when I ask him why, he says because he wants to know what I can do in different settings ( he means somewhere out of my country and culture)! He always seemed wanted to know more about me although he never said so. He also used to stop by every time he is going in vacation and sometimes bringing his tickets with him to tell me about this. I felt that he is trying to let me into his life. And for the first time in my life, I welcomed this.

We did not exactly have feelings for each other, but we had a deep mutual understanding. We could spend hours talking without getting bored.
"He" told me that he is moving in couple of months period as his contract will end, and during this time I felt like his attempts to talk to me and try to convince me to move were more. But as I said before, it is impossible and we both know it . He will never give up something for me, and the same goes to me, but at least for me, I was content with being friends with him as I really considered him a special person, and worthy of being in my life any way possible.

We never discussed this, so I never knew what he thinks of it.
The shock was that he suddenly left a couple of weeks ago without telling me, actually he lied to me about his departure date and left before! He texted me then from a local number back home telling me that this is his number. It was an unpersonalized message probably sent to other people with me. I could not believe it. I tried to make sure of the situation and texted him back asking if everything is all right, and he didn't answer! And since then, we had no communication what so ever!

I then found out that he lied to me about other silly things that he didn't have to lie about, things like saying his birth date is one day ahead of the actual date, or giving me a different city in the country he is moving to. I was receiving a shock after another since he left that I'm doubting my own judgment on people. I can't accept the fact that I am that blind.

Did we even had this "understanding" I thought we had? Why did he have to lie about such silly things?  why did he even try to get closer to me? Does he care for me? Do I scare him? Why did he do this? What does he think of me... honestly?

I think you see him as a lying friend who you don't know very well, even though you talk a lot. Obviously there is more to learn, but I wouldn't give this a lot more concern, without the opportunity to confront him face to face.

Maybe this is a lesson to learn about not assuming anything of a stranger, especially not their motives for what they do.

Like you said, he is of a different race, and culture, so no telling how he feels. You have his number, call and ask him.

Thank you talaniman for your answer..
I have known this guy for 2 full years, yet you are right.. He totally proved to be a stranger!
But let me ask you one more thing, from you point of view and based on what I wrote, do you think he had any feelings for me ? Or at least, what did he think of me.. I really want to know an outsider opinion.

I think he liked you, but has his own agenda and motives he didn't care to share for whatever reason. You liked him a lot more though, and no doubt ignored many red flags that would have made you think harder before giving your heart to this guy. I feel you had many warning early enough to be cautious with this fellow.

Sorry, I know it may be hard to hear, but I think you would be better served and enlightened if you focus on your actions and feelings, and NOT his. Even now you are trying to believe that he felt as you do, but something else stopped this thing from growing but I think you assumed that the attention he gave you was an indication of interest. It was, but he had a hidden agenda, whatever it was.

It happens to us all as we search for reasons we can understand when we get hurt. Been there a few times, and I can remember how that hurt made me question if they really like me, or was I worthy of being liked by them, yet failed.

While we need reassurance, knocking our self esteem, and taking blame for everything that went wrong is not very healthy, but realizing, and accepting it just didn't work, and wouldn't, no matter what we did, is probably closer to the truth.

>cyber hug<

I think you are right about the red flags.. I chose to ignore them because I liked him. This guy was my first in everything, I have always been very cautious when it comes to love, and never let my guards down. Even with him, I gave him some really hard time trying to get closer to me and never even admitted to myself that I like him until after 2 years. Maybe this is why I find it difficult to understand or even believe what happened! Hammering myself was the only thing to do thinking that it was definitely my fault and I'm not worthy of anything. I'm not trying to believe that he liked me as much as I'm trying to understand what he felt for me. Did he think I'm silly or stupid? Did he think of me as a boring embarrassing friend that he should get rid off, or did he liked me and thought that I will change his plans so he have to back off. In all cases fingers are pointed back to me and its killing me. I never found a reason to question what we were having while we're in it, and I find myself completely puzzled after it "suddenly" ended unexpectedly! I told you he is the first , so it must hurt the most right ; /
Sorry for all the babbling but I really need to take it out and talk it through with somebody who does not know both of us, and ready to tell me the truth even if it's going to hurt.
Your answer really helped and hit a nerve, especially the hidden agenda part because this is what I personally think is going on.
Thank you again Talaniman for your time and kindness ^_^

You are welcome, and I hope you take the true lesson from this, that reality, and life are subject to change, and the only constant is in the actions you take in adjusting to those changes.

Doesn't matter what was on his mind, all that matters is what's on yours, and what you do about it.

LOL, once you realize that you can survive and thrive hurtful situations, there will be little fear of trying again, and doing better... whether it works, or not next time.

Break ups suck, ALL the time, be it the first, or 50th! Sometimes going through growing pains suck too. Hope I am not scaring you?! :eek::D:o

Don't worry, he already scared me enough LOL :').. thanks again, appreciate it :)