Originally Posted by
talaniman
Ignore his family, and ignore his criticism of how you handle them. All relationship go thru heaven, and hell. Thats just life. But after 5 years you have not worked well enough together to get thru the storms of life, then you must honestly reevaluate what it is you, and he are doing, and either make the right adjustments, or forget it.
To be honest, I can see where you are a bit carried away by the frustrations you face now, and you have many adjustments to make to your own moods, and the way you deal with things. Not being harsh, but all you can control is yourself, how you think, and act. You cannot control him, his brother, or his family.
I think the mark of great, long term couples is how we handle our partners flaws and down sides, because lets be real, we don't have a problem enjoying the great times. They are who they are, and at this time you have a lot of downside going on that you have to deal with.
You do have some good ideas though, as to what to do with your time, but you know that we seldom share all our time with our partners as we like, and certainly not during busy times. Sometimes all we see is a sleeping mate when times are busy for you both.
I think you have so many resentments now because of frustrations on many fronts, that you may be overwhelmed by them, but the break you need is not from him but your own inability to feel good about YOURSELF, and your life, because everything is in flux, at this time in many areas of your own life.
I say all that, to say this, which not to be harsh, but your biggest frustration is that you are still dating the same guy, after 5 years. You both are trying to build yourselves for the future, but not doing it together.
You are not sharing that quality time that bonds thru the common struggle, and its obvious you both are stuck since there is no end goals in sight. I would be frustrated too.
Bottom line is you have a decision to make, a big life changing one. Keep floating in limbo, trying to change your circumstances, or talk to your partner, and see if you can make those changes, and decisions together.
5 years is to long to be in limbo in my own opinion, without being able to resolve your issues to the benefit of you both. Its telling he is so tied to his own family, and you are basically outside looking in, and not sharing and caring.
I cannot believe this preview of your life with him is what you want, so you better tell him, this ain't working the way you want, and you have spent 5 years being a date, and require a lot more to show for it. That would be honest, and get the ball rolling, or else whats the point??
