I have been married 8 years and have two beautiful kids. I do every thing for my family. My wife doesn't have to work, and I provide her best life. She was overweight a year ago, had surgery, is now skinny and fine.

Six months ago I had a job offer in another state. She told me I should go and make more money. She would stay here after I left. I found out she was talking to other guys and lying to me. My friend caught her in a motel with another guy, but she lied that she was helping her girlfriend get a room. Later, she admitted that she was sleeping with another man.

She lied to me millions of time, but every time she excused the problem. I am so in love with her, plus we have kids. Now I am depressed all the time and thinking about her day and night. She said she is sorry she was stupid to do this, she wants to be with me forever, and she loves me, can't live without me.

She came to visit me, but she still talks to her school ex-boyfriend and says he is her best friend. If I don't like it, she will stop talking to him. I even told her 2 years ago that I don't want her to talk to him, but she said he is just her best friend. Also, she has some other guy friends whom she kept secret from me. When I found out, she said that she didn't want to tell me because I will get mad.

I don't know. Should I be with her just because of our kids, or let her go? I love her more than anything in my life, and she hurt me badly. I cried lot and, when I think about it, I start crying. I don't know how to get over this pain. I need help.

You are going to have to sit down with her and maybe go to counseling together, however that is if YOU want to be with her. If you feel you will never be able to trust her again and that she may not be the right person for you, then you need to go your own way. Take responsibility of your kids, they will never stop being yours, but don't stay in a relationship with he just because of the children. Think about what you want, and then think how to achieve it, only after those two things are clearly set can you choose a way of action. Until then, remain away to gather your thoughts while you figure out what is it that you want to do.

Thanks for your answer, I know it is very hard for me to trust her again I will always be checking on her, keep worried about her, she like to go clubbing while I am out of town but now she said she will do any thing to make me get her trust back now she said she want to be with me rest of her life but every time I think about it I get very sad even I cry when I am alone. I bought house for which she like I bought truck one she wanted now she want to other car and asking me if we have enough money to get nice car for her. She always depends on me and I am worried about her how she can handle without me I don't want to leave her alone with kids. I know I will take care my kids but I don't want to destroy her life I am very confuse when she is not with me I hate her when I see her I can't hate her... I am thinking I will move out other state and never see her again because its hurt me when ever I think about her or give her some time to learn lesson?

Give yourself time to get over it. As far as your kids go, be a good father to them, maybe leaving completely is not the way to go. Cry if you feel like it. But let the crying heal you as well, don't hate anyone, feeling hatred doesn't solve anything and just makes you upset, take care and try to maintain a healthy state of mind, a peaceful one. If you can't yet, just give it time, it will come. As far as what her NEEDS are (not your children's) those are her problems, she is a grown woman, and if she hasn't learned how to do so yet, it is time for her to learn how to stop being codependant and start to spread her wings and fly on her own.

I like to think, treat others as you wish to be treated.

She didn't, from this:

"she admitted that she was sleeping with other man. she lied to me millions time but every time she had excuse"

A million is way too much for me. For you, I don't know.

Do you want to continue this? Is it worth it to you?
Not her. You.

Sounds like now, she has another agenda.
I wouldn't be begging her back.

Just think about you & your kids, for now. For a while.
Without BS to confuse your prioriites.

No its not worth it, I am trying to give her 2nd chance but I can not get over with this, I'm just thinking about my kids what answer I will have for them. How they will be good person I just worried about them she didn't think but I have to think all this how will impact on my kids

"No its not worth it"

There you go. You said it, not me.

Don't think about her ways, just yours.

Teach your kids what's right, how to make mistakes.
How to move on.

Your answer to your kids, well, with honesty, discretion and clarity.

You first, everyone else second. I wouldn't give her a second chance or a third, honestly.

Just think about you & your kids.

That is not that easy like it seems like it. I loved her 9 years with all my heart after her I will never be able to trust any women any more. My heart will never heal again if we are in part but I have to face the fact so here you go. Should I friends and family know what happen so she don't make me look bad person or keep her respect in friends?

That's all crazy talk.
Worrying about this & that?

I know 9 years is a long time. Ive been there.
But the past is the past. You have to get with YOU for a change. Stop letting her run things.

You know, sometimes we have to take a hard look at the root of the problem & remove it.
Otherwise, we can't move forward

I know 9 years is a long time. I was married for that long. Got dumped after 5.

So kill me.

Like I said, focus on you & your kids, not her or what others think.
Or some wallowing that's all in your head.

"I will never be able to trust any women any more. My heart will never heal again"

I got to laugh at that one, sorry.
Of course you will, maybe you haven't found it yet...

If you cannot work together through counseling, then you divorce and be a great dad to your kids, as they are smarter than you think and will adjust as long as you both help them through this.

No on need know anything except you couldn't get it together. Keep the gory details to yourself.

Try the counseling, if you both are willing.