Anankastic personality disorder with somatization disorder
I'm 25, a single man. My condition concerns me for many years. More than once I was appealing to neurologists and psychiatrists. Also I was myself researching some medical information. Doctors was making diagnoses: obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety-depressive syndrome with somatization disorder, anankastic personality disorder and astheno-vegetative syndrome. Sadly, none of medications that I took had the desired effect.
It is harder when alarm clock rang in the morning, I awake, turn him off and continue to sleep again. Then, when I get out of bed I feel severe heaviness in head and neck, during the day negative intrusive thoughts in the fore part of head regularly surface and often there is redness of face. Moreover, even my physical condition is difficult: lasting walking, speaking aloud and even thinking about anything are hard for me. It is easier during the day when in the morning I speak absolutely nothing aloud. At the other extreme, during the day I am inclined to talk with myself aloud.
A few years earlier EEG and REG tests showed that I have a minor dysfunction of diencephalic structures and good visual memory. This is not surprising, for I am a graphic designer. When my condition is hard it is easier if I lie down in two small solid pillows, put them under neck, press my head to pillows to create resistance to brain vessels spasms, close eyes and begin to block out intrusive thoughts that arise in the fore part. Although at that I feel some pain in this part of head, but after such "over vision resistance" negative thoughts pass and I feel a relief.
What makes all more complicated is that my troubled family experienced stormy times in past. A few years father not lives with us and now I live with my younger brother and mentally ill mother who blames me constantly and screams. My parents divorced in 2007. After my mother began to direct her negative uncontrolled emotions largely to my side and my condition became exhausted. Unfortunately, I am still enable to move to separate apartment. Although it is easier when I travel to friends at least on a few days.
Please help me to understand my condition as deeply as possible and find safe medications. I'm willing to answer the further questions.