I have recently lost someone I loved dearly to cancer, a year and a half. The pain has begun to lose its rawness. I am struggling to even try to imagine going through this grief again. This is the crux. I am not afraid to die but death seems ever present and not far from my conscious thoughts. I have learned many things, for example, that I can experience and pass through darkness of the soul. But there are people yet closer still that may go before I do. Death is all pervasive.

Well, death is part of being human. One need not fear it if they have an understanding of what it is about and what is after it. I know it is hard and painful to lose a loved one to something so mysterious and fearful... but the moment we start centering our entire being on death, life will pass us by. The bible tells us that tomorrow is not guaranteed to us. I'm sure you've seen the bumper sticker that says "Know Jesus, Know Peace. No Jesus, No Peace". It is quite true, especially in your situation.

Thank you for your time and wise words. I think I need to work on my spiritual side and also on living.

I'm glad to hear it... I might suggest you start reading the New Testament. There you will find light and truth for this world.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."