I was repeatedly (for 2 years) raped when I was 4 by a teenage boy. He was a boy who before he started raping me I trusted very much. I am 17 now and I have a very hard time trusting anyone. I have been dating this guy for over a month now ( and this is an accomplishment for me) I can tell he wants to have sex. I want to as well but I don't know if I'm ready. Do you think he will understand if I tell him what happened? I am afraid that he will break up with me. I have been dumped by guys because of it in the past making it even harder for me to trust. Should I tell him? Do you think he will understand?

What a disgusting, vile boy, I'm so sorry for your past. Getting over something as big as this will most likely require counselling.

With regards to your boyfriend, if you feel the need to tell him, then do so. Of course he will understand, and if he loves you, he won't pressure you at all. And just remember, the one that's right for you will accept you no-matter who you are or what you've been through. They have no choice but to acccept what's happened. If you get dumped by anyone else, bear that in mind hun.

X Dani

Have you talked to a therapist? Dealing with this situation on your own can be very difficult.

I also think that, at 17, being in a relationship for one month is too soon to elevate it to a sexual relationship. Especially in your circumstances. I also think you should not be discussing this with him so soon. This is an issue that requires commitment and sensitivity. A relationship of a month is just not long enough, especially for someone as young as you.

What happened to this boy who abused you?

Sorry for what you have been through. But I don't think that having sex because you afraid of being dumped is a good reason at all to engage in sex, especially with a boyfriend of only a month. You are not ready, and that's all that he needs to know until he has gained your complete trust. Just a month is not enough time I don't think to trust anyone.

I hope you learn more about him, before you give him your heart, or your trust. If he cares, he will certainly understand not being ready for such a big step, for whatever reason. This is one of those things that are easy to get into, and a lot harder to get out of.

You keep a guy with your mind, and personality, not with your body.