Have we completely lost our relationship?
My boyfriend and I had been together nearly two years and we broke up almost 3 weeks ago now. Everything was going fine as he was looking for jobs to move up to the city to live with me as we realised that was the next step in our relationship. We had discussed marriage and engagement and he had been saving up for a ring for me but he couldn't get a job up here. One came up further down south to where he is from, he pursued it and managed to get given that job.
We were both up for me moving down to be with him but when reality hit I realised I was making such a big decision I wasn't comfortable with and didn't feel ready to move down.
He still stays at home with his parents so there would be no room for me till he got a place of his own (which won't happen till after new year at least) and I have no friends or family down in that part of the country so felt I would be very isolated.
He had also eyed up the new girl in the office and said he felt bad he liked her when he had a girlfriend but one night we had the biggest argument ever due to the stress of the whole situation and the fact I wasn't happy in my job and wasn't prepared to move to another office with the same pressure to a town I didn't know.
So he decided that we should end the relationship because he could no longer do long distance and I wasn't prepared at that time to go down to be with him.
He said we should remain friends and I agreed in the hope that one day we could get back together as the only problem with our relationship was that we never got to spend enough time together during the week but he told me not to hold out for him as he couldn't say for sure we would get back together. I've been told he's gone from feeling quietly content to being in a relationship that works and is happy to feeling numb emptiness so knows what we had must have been love.
Every time we spoke and texted after the breakup (which was OK as we agreed to stay friends - final decision was down to me) I would ask him what are the chances of us getting back in the future, can we not just try to reconcile this and move on together as I was starting to regret saying I totally would not move down to be with him but he just kept telling me he didn't want to be in a relationship right now and he couldn't give me a straight answer to whether we would get back together.
I just kept pushing and pushing until he told me in our last phone conversation that he had been thinking over the last week or so that he doesn't see the point in us getting back together and asked why I wanted to be with someone who didn't love me.
Hearing that upset me even more and I apologised and said can we not just wait and see, what is the point in us being friends as I thought that was one of the main reasons, so he told me if I don't want to remain friends with him that was fine but it would be me missing out on the friendship, not him.
A mate (guy) later told me that night he can normally play the devils advocate and sympathise with the guy but this time he knew the guy had done wrong and was a waste of my time, I can do better and the only reason he said that it would be me missing out on the friendship was because he knew he had made a mistake.
Ive asked my ex for some space but told him to let me know when he is up in the city so we can meet up as he said he will do and he can call me if he wants to talk.
All I want is for us to have another go and make this work as I thought we did have a really good relationship. Will this time we've taken to be apart make him realise he's lost someone special as everyone refers to me as or is that totally it? Please Help :-( x