Why are fwbs (friends with benefits) so frowned upon?
All right, so around this time last year, I went through a long, drawn out, messy breakup. Needless to say, I am fully healed and my own person again. I'm definitely ready to explore other people, but not necessarily get heavily involved.
I met this really great guy with whom I connected effortlessly, and we've become really good friends. He made it very clear that he does not date any more and just has friends with benefits. I'm in my last semester of college, so getting emotionally involved at this point probably isn't the best idea, since I will be leaving soon.
The thing is, everyone around me is constantly gossiping about his reputation with fwbs and tell me to stay away from him because of this. He doesn't treat me like a piece of meat. He doesn't pressure me to do anything I don't want to do. He's exciting, he's fun, he's enticing. We have so much in common. And he's made it very clear that if I'm not comfortable being sexual, then he would still love to be just friends. He's not just after me to get some action.
I went to a Halloween party he was throwing and was planning on crashing at his place. Everyone throughout the night kept telling me to stay away from him anytime he'd approach me. They wanted me to go home with them when they left. It was starting to really annoy me. I'm almost 23 years old and I'm pretty sure I can come to my own decisions.
It's not like everyone's gossip is about how he's a liar or disrespects or pressures women. It just boils down to the fact that he favors non-committed relationships. I just want to scream out that MAYBE I'm OKAY WITH THAT? As long as it's safe and consensual on both ends, what exactly is the harm?
I have a blast with him and we get along so great. He drives me wild. I'm a person with a lot of anxiety and stress, and he is the exact stress reliever I want right now. I'm getting fed up with EVERYONE around me acting like a parent. I understand that they're just looking out for me, but it's starting to drive me insane.
How should I deal with this situation? Part of me wants to ditch the whole idea just to save my own reputation, but I don't want to end it. I wish people would just act like adults and respect each other's privacy. We have been secretive about the sexual part of our friendship, but even the fact that he and I hang out is enough to get people talking and riled up. I'm sick of it. Input?