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-   -   I feel like I'm in a room with no exit (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=606545)

  • Oct 24, 2011, 04:13 PM
    jenniferlopez12
    I feel like I'm in a room with no exit
    Mom left the house it will be 26 days on Wednesday. I(17) am living with my dad(43) my brother(15) and my sister(7). My mom has been out of the house plenty of times since I was one. At times I can't stand the thought of her leaving us here but at times I think it's the best she could have done for all of us and though its really hard to take on the role of having to go to school coming home cleaning helping my sister with homework taking her showers, I feel its making me a better person I'm just a little concern at what's going to happen once I leave? I am enlisted in the ARMY and I'm going to leave July 9Th 2012. My sister is only growing and as a guy there's things my dad is going to need lots of help with. Even though it isn't good and I am very aware of it I blame my mom for many things because I know she was never happy she wasn't the type of mom who showed affection and having a family didn't fulfill her "dreams"
  • Oct 24, 2011, 06:22 PM
    twinkiedooter
    You have a lot of time in which to concentrate on your little sister and teach her all the stuff she will be needing to know about how to take care of a house, do the laundry, cook etc. Just do it one day at a time. Your brother should also be helping and learning the same stuff you are going to teach your little sister. And don't forget Dad is not just a bump on the couch. He could stand to learn some housework tips and chores so the home does not go to hell while you are gone. Essentially everyone in the household needs to know how to do everything from how to wash clothes in the machine to doing dishes, to doing the cooking. Let it be a fun family time for everyone and not a chore. This is going to be a family project - something for everyone to be able to look back on as "good times spent with big sister". Make a game of this. 26 days is not the end of the world. If anything everyone should be free of the underlying tension in the household. Dad needs to remember he has an important role in the raising of the 2 remaining siblings as you will be gone. You can be the one to shower the love on everyone - mom does not have to just be the only one who does this, you know, you have an obligation to do this if you feel that everyone has been deprived by mom. Dad also needs to realize that he is not going to have someone there to do everything for him anymore when you leave and he needs to step up to the plate now and pitch in before you leave to ensure he knows how to do things. Being a family is a huge responsibility for everyone - not just mom and dad but all brothers and sisters alike. Your room has an exit - it's called a window to look out on and see the real world through adult eyes.
  • Oct 25, 2011, 01:04 AM
    ads_j
    It will be tough for the next few months but then you will know they're in good hands. Clearly you are an amazing sibling and child (and even stand in mom). Your heart is in the right place so I'm sure you will do a great job prepping them for what's to come.

    It sounds like you're being an amazing example - especially to your little sister (she will be super impressionable and might even think its her fault etc that your mom left). Best of luck with everything - just stick with what you're doing.
  • Oct 25, 2011, 01:05 AM
    ads_j
    It will be tough for the next few months but then you will know they're in good hands. Clearly you are an amazing sibling and child (and even stand in mom). Your heart is in the right place so I'm sure you will do a great job prepping them for what's to come.

    It sounds like you're being an amazing example - especially to your little sister (she will be super impressionable and might even think its her fault etc that your mom left). Best of luck with everything - just stick with what you're doing.
  • Oct 27, 2011, 04:34 PM
    jenniferlopez12
    @twinkiedooter thanks and yes my dad is an amazing human being and he has been cooking for us and I do the cleaning I help my sister with her homework and dressing her and I'm slowly teaching her how to take a shower correctly hygiene is a very important thing. I believe she's to small to learn how to wash dishes and clothes but definitively I need to start teaching her chores she can already do like ALWAYS cleaning up after herself. You're absolutely right and its not anyone's fault she wasn't happy here and I need to get that across my sister thank you.

    @ads_j Yes I know it will be a bumpy road but this is my family and I won't let it fall apart my mom is missing out on what amazing kids she's got. Thank you guys.

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