So here I go, me and my boyfriend have been dating for the past 2 years and I feel as though or should I say that lately I have been feeling as though he's better than me. Am I acting immature, or am I being juvenile? Its just sometimes I feel as though he's got it all. When it comes to weight he lost 30 pounds in just 4 months and I've been trying to lose weight for the past 10 years and its just not working for me. Also it feels like his part time job is also better than mine he works in electronics while I work in a bakery no commission, nothing. Its just so depressing to watch him work with people, have so many friends at his job and me simply do my work and technically not talk to anyone because I don't necessarily LOVE the people I work with,nor do I have anything in common with them. Did I mention he goes to school with all of his friends, while all of my friends study downtown so I barely see mine, and go to school alone.

He's going to med school and my whole family is so proud of him, sometimes I feel as though what I am doing isn't good enough or just not comparable to him. Yes I'm going to school but I don't want to be no doctor. Lately I've been starting little fights with him, I'm just so irritated by the idea that he's better than me. I hate that he seems to have it all and that he's just so content, sometimes we don't see each other for days and he's able to stay collected while I'm like "i want to see you more" but of course chemistry takes more than 2 hours of study. Am I being selfish? I just don't understand myself anymore... He seems so collected and sometimes perfect. I am just me and I feel as though I'm not good enough and its been so hard lately because I don't like this feeling at all. I am never one to envy others so why do I envy my boyfriend. Out of all people? Sometimes I feel as though I'm hurting the relationship because of this, any advice?

I understand what you are saying.

Now tell me -- what do you bring to the relationship?

You have to be into yourself first.

The sooner you stop comparing & start coming together, the better.

After 2 years, you should be both down & be able to talk. Right?

Now what's the plan? How's the past 2 years? To you both want another 2?

If so, well, then...

When we see each other which is on average once a week, I always need to fit in my schedule because my future doctor of a boyfriend is always busy, so I make the time... most of the time. The worst part is I want to see him more, but lets say I think he's coming over for 3 hours he ends up staying for 1. Its not his fault I know he needs to study but I hate watching him be so successful, and me staying the same. That's so selfish of me to say I know, but when it comes to him and our relationship I'm always ready to do whatever it takes. Ive been accepting this distance for the past months and its coming to a point where I'm just so envious of him. Not just his studies ,but I'm looking at the big picture and he's got it all.

"i always need to fit in my schedule because my future doctor of a boyfriend is always busy, so i make the time ...."

Listen to yourself. And your tone. Doesn't sound like you like him or this one bit.

You don't "need" or to "fit" in anything.

"Im just so envious of him"

That's it right there. Get over that first.

Or it isn't going to be him, or anyone else.

Maybe you need to get busy.

I've had my battles with envy.
Envy & jealousy are close partners.

They like to travel together.
Riding on the back of insecurity.

Not qualities I like. I try to nip those. But respect them.

My point is, if it isn't fun or fulfilling? Why do it?

I do love him, a lot actually its just lately it feels as though he's above me at all times,, and I'm just looking up and watching him be so amazing on my part feeling so small.I should be proud of him but this envious feeling is torturing me inside I mean I can't break free, I'm so irritated every time my family sees me they ask wheres your boyfriend, its like I'm here you know? He impresses people so easily, its just so hard to love someone and envy them at the same time.

I don't doubt you love him.

You are putting him on a pedestal. Of course you do.

"I'm just looking up and watching him be so amazing "
Doesn't sound like anythings changed.

Don't live your life through someone else, or let your parent run things.
You are an adult, right?

Be careful, what you ask for & feel in your gut may happen.
You never living up to others expectations.

Stop that sh$t.

So he has got it going on and that's bugging you? I have been reading your stuff for a few years, and have watched you grow and develop into a pretty fine young lady, and I think you have a crooked view of the big picture.

You are looking at him and comparing him to you, but you need to look at yourself, and give yourself a lot more credit for what YOU are doing. For what YOU have been through, and for what you have survived and thrived in.

You have put him on some kind of pedestal, and are neglecting your own place in life. That's why you envy him, and compare him to you. That's not fair to you. I would be irritated too.

But I wouldn't be mad at him, I think you get busy, and make a life for yourself, one that you enjoy, and stop waiting for the king to call and give you some time and attention. You see him one day out of the week, so that's 6 left that you do for yourself.

Now get out there and do some things that makes you some friends, or activities that allow you to interact with other people besides the ones at work.

Church, school, or volunteer activities come to mind off the top of my head. Anything but sitting depending on someone else, because the bottom line is you are responsible for your own happiness, so take responsibility, and build you a social life.

This problem is personal. You need to work on yourself, you need to work on what you want, you need to be the person who you would love to be.

Don't worry about him, like you said he is fine, and you should be proud of being in a relationship with someone who is successful. I bet you he considers you a success, but as you can see he has his priorities straight. Take care of yourself before you start worrying about other people. Don't be jealous that your partner has good things going for him, because you will one day benefit from them, however, you should definitely stride to be better, so that you both share and reach your life goals together.