Ask Me Help Desk - Social services and no contact rule?

I was disciplined my child and unintentionally left bruises on her bottom, the school noticed and referred to social services then they took her to the hospital and they confirmed that they weren't marks from falling or anything other than abuse. Social services contacted me and told me not to contact my kids or return to the family home until police had been intouch with me or investigation completed. I haven't heard from anyone and its been over three days the kids are all crying all night and my wife can't handle everything on her own. It wasn't an intentional harm as I love my child very much and its only the first time this is happening. I don't know what to do am really frustrated and my family is suffering just because social services are quick to separate us without trying to find out what the story or my version is or if in deed I am a threat to my kids.. dilemma?

How did the school 'notice' bruises on her bottom? I find that odd. Do teachers make habit of inspecting bottoms nowadays to find out if there are any marks?

How old is your child tesoro? I don't see how they took your child to the hospital without parental permissions. Usually in the case of marks on a child, school officials call social services, social services call the parents and all discuss the marks at the school.

So now you are separated from your family; you must call social services immediately tesoro. It is my understanding and knowledge, at least in my area, that social services do not act immediately, sometimes do not act at all and sometimes go completely overboard with an investigation; but then on the other hand, perhaps we do not know the whole story here and the incident has not been reported here in its entirety.

I am still wondering how the school had the right to disrobe your child to look for bruises? Did someone call them to report it?
Tick

I think you need to consult an attorney. It seems to me that Social Services may be acting precipitously and overreacting.

We don't know why the school took action, the child may have complained. But you need to push Social Services to take action, its unfair for them to leave you and your family hanging.

My daughter is nine years old and they had a swimming lesson that day. I honestly didn't intend to harm or leave any marks on her... so I guess one of the kids noticed while they were in the changing rooms then I guess reported it to the teacher who inturn rang social... then they rang my wife who was driving from work and told her that she should go to the school but everything was fine and they refused to say more... so she reached there and was told to wait in a corner and wasn't allowed acccess to our daughter as they were with her questioning her. She later insisted that she be told what was happening then they said that apparently they were investigating some allegations made and that she had nothing to worry about as they didn't involve her(my wife) so assumably its against myself and I added 1 and 1 a remembered that a day before we had some disagreements whilst helping her with her homework and she started swearing and refusing to do the work anyway

Social services decided that they had to go to the hospital for a check up and there the doctor confirmed that they were marks from a spanking or smacking on the side of her bum so they rang me and asked if I had somwewea to go as they are recommending no contact until the police deal with the issue so I had to ask a mate to crash at his place because the other option would have been all of them be taken to shelter house or something.. by the way we have a little one 14 months old so they even went ahead to inspect her... outragious.. nway they didn't find anything as they are both healthy and well looked after.

We simply don't know what to do or expect as its been two days now and apparently the cops were meant to call me... and up to now nothing. I am afraid I might go to prison or be separated from my family if not losing both our kids. I am a honest guy with no history of violence whatsoever. I love my wife and kids and by the way the daughter inb question is my step daughter, we have been both married before so we have one child together and we recently got married but had been living together before for two-three years.

How did you discipline the child? How long after the discipline was administered were the marks visible.

I also see that this is your stepdaughter, not your daughter. Is your wife all right with you disciplining this child?

I also recommend that you RUN, not walk, to an Attorney as soon as you can. You need legal advice.

Unfortunately, it's NOT outrageous for Social Services to examine other children when one has been disciplined to the extent that she is bruised. If I were you I would prefer that SS examine the other child(ren) so that there are no additional allegations at a later time.

I suggest that in the future, when you deem corporal punishment necessary, you first cool off. Never hit a child in anger.

And use a green sapling instead of a paddle or your hand. That way, a minimum of force is applied (so that bruising will not occur) and yet it stings; which is the point of punishment.

What state or country are you in, by the way?

You NEED to consult an attorney ASAP. Your attorney will force the issue getting the local prosecutor either apply for a restraining order or let you go home. If they apply for an RO you get a hearing where you can present your side.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I suggest that in the future, when you deem corporal punishment necessary, you first cool off. Never hit a child in anger.

And use a green sapling instead of a paddle or your hand. That way, a minimum of force is applied (so that bruising will not occur) and yet it stings; which is the point of punishment.

What state or country are you in, by the way?

You are kidding right AK; use a green sapling instead of anything else. Sorry, don't go with that suggestion. Nothing should be used to discipline a child, sapling, hand or paddle are NOT TO BE USED.

I can see it now; okay kid has to be chastised so must go out to the backyard to cut a green sapling, unless I have one in the house right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

You are kidding right AK; use a green sapling instead of anything else. Sorry, dont go with that suggestion. Nothing should be used to discipline a child, sapling, hand or paddle are NOT TO BE USED.

I can see it now; okay kid has to be chastised so must go out to the backyard to cut a green sapling, unless I have one in the house right now.

Actually I will disagree, I am not into saplling and the such, but a spanking with your hand is actually a good thing to do at times. And should be done, I consider it bad parenting not to when needed.

But to the parent, assuming this is not a normal thing to go in excess, get an attorney NOW, since you may be banned from going home period, or the child could be taken away and put in foster care.