Staircase To the Sea


All is at peace,

And has likely been a recurrence

Of an emptiness, closely keeping,

That has been my unease-

And now near total silence has fallen

As half sunk galleons skirt the shores

Leaning like those partly drunk,

Upon new worlds-

And all drownings in this Sargasso sea

Are like the rise of birds through waves

Those constant revelations of descents

Like shrill broken whistles on the staircase

To the sea.

Sounds okay to me. What are you planning on doing with this poem?

Send it to a contest or something in that vein. Thanks

When I read it, I get more of a haunted, ghostly feeling rather than a peaceful one.

But is it any good?

You mention "peace" but then give examples of ghostly stuff (emptiness, unease, half-sunk galleons, drownings, shrill broken whistles). All that gives lie to your first line. How about changing the first line?

Is it any good? I think it's confusing. What are you really trying to say? What mood are you trying to create?

It doesn't matter what people think. All that matters is how you feel about it. If you like it the way it is then I say leave it. If you feel you need to change something then do it. It's your own art. Do what you will with it. Personally, I think it sounds good. I like haunting poems. :D